bree128

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bree128

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2948
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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bree128's page activity

Visits<b>IamAngryCoffee</b> - the 03/19/2016 at 8:59pm<b>Raleaf</b> - the 01/20/2016 at 11:11pm<b>APHPrussia</b> - the 11/20/2015 at 3:40pm<b>drego5</b> - the 04/16/2015 at 6:57am<b>tehman117</b> - the 02/26/2015 at 9:22am<b>lil_lex</b> - the 07/31/2014 at 2:12pm<b>trinalporpus</b> - the 05/28/2014 at 11:59pm<b>cryssycakesx3</b> - the 05/19/2014 at 8:05pm<b>itsalanis</b> - the 04/16/2014 at 3:40pm<b>chudun</b> - the 01/03/2014 at 4:42am<b>legendaryplya</b> - the 06/14/2013 at 1:21am<b>cowsaysmooo</b> - the 03/16/2013 at 10:58am<b>thefreelove</b> - the 01/14/2013 at 11:03pm

bree128's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

bree128's favorite FMLs

Today, I was sitting in the park eating a sandwich, when a homeless guy asked me for some spare change. I said I didn't have any. He offered an "erotic striptease" in exchange for my sandwich. I said no. He gave one anyway. I walked back to work on an empty stomach. FML

by :| / 04/15/2011 at 10:04pm / Canada (Ontario) / Work

Today, I sneezed so hard I fell down the stairs. FML

by HWS / 04/15/2011 at 1:47am / Canada (British Columbia) / Health

Today, I held a door open for my boyfriend and jokingly said, "Chivalry is dead?" He responded with, "Who's chivalry?" FML

by Anonymous / 04/14/2011 at 1:49am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, I ran a red light in front of a cop and got pulled over. My friend thought it would be funny to throw a knife in my lap and scream "Help me officer, he has a knife!" FML

by FrOsTy25 / 04/13/2011 at 6:57pm / Miscellaneous

Today, I watched my dog chase his tail for ten minutes, thinking "wow, dogs are easily entertained." Then I realized that I'd been watching my dog chase his tail for 10 minutes. FML

by Anonymous / 04/12/2011 at 10:20pm / Animals

Today, I attended a funeral. During the minute of silence, my phone went off. My ringtone is "It's good to be alive". FML

by JJMan217 / 04/03/2011 at 3:02am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend and I were lying in bed together, and I was in a snuggly mood. I rolled over to gaze lovingly into his eyes and whisper sweet nothings to him in the darkness. His response? "Dear God! Did somebody fart in your mouth?!" FML

by Anonymous / 04/01/2011 at 12:32am / United States / Love

Today, I was trying to replace the lightbulb in my bedroom. Since I couldn't reach it by myself, I grabbed and stood on a chair. After I got two broken bones, and had stitches in my forehead, I figured that using a chair with wheels probably wasn't the best idea after all. FML

by owies :( / 03/31/2011 at 10:23pm / United States (Florida) / Health

TODAY, I PRESSED CAPS LOCK ON MY LAPTOP AND THE KEY GOT STUCK. NOW ALL OF MY LETTERS ARE IN CAPITAL LETTERS. I HAVE TRIED EVERYTHING. FML

by Anonymous / 03/21/2011 at 1:32pm / United Kingdom (Wiltshire) / Geek

Today, I banged into a glass door. My friend laughed at me, so I turned around and gave him the finger, then turned back to continue walking and banged into the door again. FML

by sylverster / 03/15/2011 at 8:37am / Singapore / Miscellaneous

Today, I got stuck in a small elevator. It started to violently judder up and down after I pressed the 'Help' buzzer. The man on the intercom wouldn't stop laughing at how my voice was jumpy from the juddering movements before he called for help. FML

by stuckinalift / 02/17/2011 at 8:31pm / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous

Today, I ran out of toilet paper in the bathroom. I was forced to use tissues to do the job. As if that wasn't bad enough, the sanitizer in the tissues gave me a rash that made me have to stand up frequently in the lecture hall. Several people asked if I had Tourette's. FML

by no more tp / 02/17/2011 at 1:22am / Health

Today, I went to the vending machine, put in a dollar, and reached down to grab my snack. The slot door wouldn't open, so I pushed it harder. I got my hand in, but the door got stuck again, this time with my hand inside. I tried to push with my other hand. It got stuck too. FML

by CandyMachine / 02/16/2011 at 6:58pm / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous

Today, my sister lost a leg. Immediately after hearing the news, my boyfriend started cracking jokes about getting her a job at IHOP. FML

Today, at the supermarket, my mother stopped in the middle of a lane and imitated a gorilla as a way of asking me from far away if I wanted any bananas. FML

by SkinsCastSelection / 01/17/2011 at 5:50pm / France / Animals