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breaksprinter_

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breaksprinter_
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 31071
  • Number of comments : 108
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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breaksprinter_'s favorite FMLs

Today, I woke up finding myself violently humping my pillow. My mom recorded it. FML

#3474895
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59533) - you deserved it (11396)

On 07/04/2009 at 4:58am - intimacy - by R_U_CEREAL (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my boyfriend proposed to me at the zoo. With a Ring Pop. He was serious. FML

#3470108
444 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61036) - you deserved it (11744)

On 07/04/2009 at 12:49am - love - by Cococautly (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my mom put some bubblewrap on my desk because she thought I would have fun with it. I'm 18. It was awesome. FML

#3229865
298 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63021) - you deserved it (37025)

On 06/26/2009 at 2:13am - misc - by Jeweler (man) - United States (California)

Today, my husband and I were having sex in the shower while our 5-year old was sleeping. Apparently, she wasn't sleeping and she asked me what those loud noises were. I told her I was singing. Now I can't get her to stop "singing" in the shower. FML

#3058885
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16332) - you deserved it (53506)

On 06/20/2009 at 12:06pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was having sex with a girl. Things were getting pretty hot, so I decided to smack her butt. I missed. I smacked my balls instead. Real hard. FML

#3055426
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11777) - you deserved it (83791)

On 06/20/2009 at 7:13am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Switzerland (Bern)

Today, I heard my daughter scream at my son through the bathroom door, "Are you jacking off in there or something?" and him scream back at her "Shut up you fucking cunt!" My daughter is 7 and my son is 8. FML

#2772494
813 comments

I agree, your life sucks (113655) - you deserved it (71763)

On 06/10/2009 at 2:09pm - intimacy - by badmom (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I was taking a nap. Apparently, my two year old daughter decided to crawl on top of the covers on my bed because she was scared since there was a thunder storm. I thought she was one of our cats so I kicked her off. She hit the wall. FML

#2532710
1157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69233) - you deserved it (179586)

On 06/02/2009 at 2:03pm - animals - by fmlfmlfml (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I awoke to the sound of my dad knocking on my dorm room door for a surprise visit. He's barely outside the door and I pull the door open and say hey, when my roommate strips naked pulls the door open, kisses me on the cheek, says in an uber-gay voice, "Thanks for last night", and leaves. FML

#527227
515 comments

I agree, your life sucks (227008) - you deserved it (29228)

On 03/22/2009 at 6:38am - intimacy - by konens_dick (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I went into my older brother's room to get a condom. This happened the other day too when my boyfriend forgot one. So I went in there today and there was a note that said "Little Sister, stop using my condoms. And your boyfriend sounds like a girl when he climaxes." FML

#497309
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26325) - you deserved it (103152)

On 03/20/2009 at 8:43pm - intimacy - by Stacy (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to have sex. I was a virgin and he wasn't. About 30 seconds in he collapsed on me. I thought he was joking around and I started laughing. He wasn't joking. He was done. FML

#483851
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (125966) - you deserved it (12185)

On 03/20/2009 at 2:11am - intimacy - by firsttimer69 (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I woke up, completely naked, in bed with a guy I met the night before. We were both drunk the night before and I had agreed to go home with him. The reason I woke up was that someone was knocking on his bedroom door. Turns out he lives with his mom and she made us pancakes. FML

#429248
244 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29598) - you deserved it (81632)

On 03/17/2009 at 11:15pm - intimacy - by Nikki (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, me and my boyfriend came back to my house after a night on the town. Thinking the house was empty, we had sex. Just as it was getting good my phone rings. It was a text from my mom, "Quiet down. Even your father can tell you're faking." FML

#415809
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (92124) - you deserved it (42632)

On 03/17/2009 at 4:40pm - intimacy - by MrAwsum (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I came back from a hike to see my trailer rocking, as well as some strange but obvious noises coming from it. I went camping alone. Two strangers were in my camper having sex. FML

#315595
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (126303) - you deserved it (9639)

On 03/14/2009 at 1:08am - intimacy - by Noname (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, me and my boyfriend had some crazy rough sex. In the process I ended up with huge bruises and bite marks all over my neck and chest. I'm giving a speech on domestic violence today. FML

#260982
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26880) - you deserved it (83087)

On 03/10/2009 at 2:52pm - intimacy - by Noname (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, these kids in my math class told me to ask this girl if I could lick her clit. I basically yelled 'what's a clit'? Everyone looked at me. I'm a senior in high school, no one has yet to explain it to me. I had to google it when i got home. FML

#254280
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33280) - you deserved it (73790)

On 03/09/2009 at 7:29pm - intimacy - by danmarino (man) - United States (Rhode Island)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

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