breakinlegs

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breakinlegs

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1875
  • Number of comments : 219
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About breakinlegs : Let's drink and be merry, but don't be upset if I see more than one view on a topic. I don't like people who freak out about proper grammar. I'm not religious. I love seafood. I love local beer and wine and moonshine. It creeps me out that people are putting half naked pictures of themselves all over internet. I love mushrooms.

breakinlegs's page activity

Visits<b>jbuckets_404</b> - the 05/11/2016 at 6:31pm<b>dariusdeath</b> - the 02/26/2016 at 11:02pm<b>bmckee196</b> - the 02/10/2016 at 8:48am<b>foxbryan13</b> - the 12/15/2015 at 1:38pm<b>Envy22</b> - the 11/06/2015 at 9:18pm<b>ratman775</b> - the 10/06/2015 at 9:12pm<b>americanafrican</b> - the 09/18/2015 at 2:34am<b>Zaros</b> - the 08/18/2015 at 7:57pm<b>Kevinmeowbeanz</b> - the 07/26/2015 at 4:33am<b>nutinbuttkatze</b> - the 07/13/2015 at 5:29am<b>rayraydayday</b> - the 06/12/2015 at 2:17am<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 05/31/2015 at 10:21pm<b>KeithTheGreat</b> - the 04/29/2015 at 12:16am<b>Trollx</b> - the 04/22/2015 at 1:05pm<b>buckstop1</b> - the 04/16/2015 at 6:09pm<b>tsommer</b> - the 03/26/2015 at 5:36pm<b>boggleelggob</b> - the 02/26/2015 at 8:27pm<b>ricardof</b> - the 01/27/2015 at 10:13am

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breakinlegs's favorite FMLs

Today, I was going to the bathroom at work. When I stood up, I noticed a little button on the side. I pressed it and the toilet flushed. I've worked there for nine months and just found out today that our toilets don't flush automatically. FML

by Anonymous / 06/16/2014 at 10:45pm / United States (Missouri) / Work

Today, I found out my husband has a fake Facebook account that he uses to add guys and live a double life as some kind of "gamer chick". This would be disturbing enough, even if he hadn't used pictures of me to give a face to his alter ego. FML

by Little Miss Fucket / 06/13/2014 at 5:07pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke up screaming like a little bitch. I'd been having a bizarre dream where I was having sex with Homer Simpson, when he suddenly had a heart attack and fell on me, crushing me to death. I think my brain needs a douching. FML

by Anonymous / 06/11/2014 at 6:20pm / United States (Missouri) / Intimacy

Today, I was at a buffet with my kids and husband. As my boys got up to get more food, I told them they'd better come back with something green on their plate. They both came back with mint ice cream and got a high-five from my husband. FML

by outsmartedbykids / 05/28/2014 at 12:28pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Kids

Today, at school, I got seated in front of the resident creepy kid that everyone stayed away from. I was pretty relieved to get through most of the class with no incidents, until the bell rang and he tore out a chunk of my hair, yelling "DNA! DNA!" FML

by Laura / 05/27/2014 at 11:58am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, at work I had to explain to a client that male dogs can wear red collars and it doesn't make them "gay". The client then got angry and stormed out of the store, causing me to get written up. FML

by Holyguacamoly / 05/27/2014 at 7:15am / Iceland / Animals

Today, I found out that if I'm not home and my roommates have girls over, my room is the designated "fart room". FML

by Anonymous / 05/25/2014 at 11:52pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, at my job at a fast-food restaurant, I once again got called into the men's bathroom to break up sex between two homeless people. FML

by thepixies842 / 05/19/2014 at 11:34am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, while driving out to the countryside with my new boyfriend, we came across a deer lying in the road. It seemed badly hurt, but instead of letting me get out and make sure, my boyfriend decided to just run over its head to finish it off, then continued driving with a smirk on his face. FML

by dating a big bag of dicks / 05/13/2014 at 5:02pm / United States / Animals

Today, my wife got all excited when she saw the elevator we were in had a feature to make it go sideways. I didn't have the heart to tell her they were the buttons to open and close the door. FML

by Jarool / 05/12/2014 at 3:41pm / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous

Today, I moved into my new house. The previous occupants failed to tell me that they'd recently kicked out their crazy crackhead son, who seems to think they've paid me to pretend that they've moved out and that I'm the new owner. He wants back in. FML

by Anonymous / 05/11/2014 at 3:22pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, after a long day at work, I was starving, so I stopped by the drive-through for something to eat. When I got home and hurriedly opened the bag, all I found inside was napkins. Thanks, McDonald's. FML

by can't eat paper / 05/10/2014 at 9:34pm / United States / Work

Today, I met this overweight chick and ended up sleeping with her. We were doing it doggy style and it was great until she said, "Milk me like a cow." I can no longer drink milk without hearing that in my head. FML

by chumman / 05/06/2014 at 9:55am / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, I was at the bar. A man started to hit on me. He claims to have a fetish for pregnant women. I'm not pregnant. FML

by Anonymous / 05/04/2014 at 7:28pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Miscellaneous

Today, after getting home from finals and finishing the semester, I had a very heartfelt reunion with my dog during which he licked me all over the face. About an hour later, my dad told me, "By the way, don't let him lick you, he has hookworms." FML

by Anon / 04/29/2014 at 10:07pm / United States (Virginia) / Animals