bre_zip_it_up13

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bre_zip_it_up13

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 6477
  • Number of comments : 84
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

About bre_zip_it_up13 : i'm weird and sometimes funny but overall crazy and weird but in a (good way). im a teen

bre_zip_it_up13's page activity

Visits<b>Envy22</b> - the 10/20/2015 at 4:24pm<b>youarebaka</b> - the 06/03/2015 at 11:24pm<b>connectthedots</b> - the 05/03/2015 at 5:59pm<b>tacojauns</b> - the 11/30/2014 at 11:11pm<b>rocker_chick23</b> - the 10/10/2014 at 10:26pm<b>NotAUser</b> - the 10/09/2014 at 11:07am<b>vanessa_tranz</b> - the 09/07/2014 at 5:18pm<b>Epic_Kassi</b> - the 08/22/2014 at 9:51am<b>crapmaster3000</b> - the 01/15/2014 at 4:19pm<b>ohishkabibble</b> - the 10/20/2013 at 5:13am<b>missbellaboo</b> - the 10/18/2013 at 9:46am<b>ashfurfan</b> - the 08/20/2013 at 1:32pm<b>Fireashes250</b> - the 07/30/2013 at 6:40pm<b>legendaryplya</b> - the 07/18/2013 at 5:36pm<b>ninjaCarebear</b> - the 07/15/2013 at 12:38am<b>yellowchocobo</b> - the 07/06/2013 at 9:11pm<b>Maybebabyme</b> - the 01/05/2013 at 4:26pm<b>EvanescenceLuver</b> - the 01/04/2012 at 6:13pm

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bre_zip_it_up13's favorite FMLs

Today, I walked in to my apartment to see my husband sitting there with his toes painted pink. When I asked him why, he said, "I wanted to feel pretty." This is the man who is about to be the father of my child. FML

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, he came. This was a good thing, except when he did he started bellowing the Imperial March theme from Star Wars. When I asked him about it, all he said was, "I thought you'd like it." FML

by wickedbeauty333 / 09/26/2012 at 6:54pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I was on the toilet, when the girl I really like decided to call. I'd left my cellphone in my room and my dad answered. All he said was, "He's taking a shit. This might take a while." and hung up. FML

by Anonymous / 09/26/2012 at 4:27pm / United States (Florida) / Love

Today, while at the gym, a very large man walked over to me and said, "I like wearing all orange to the gym." Not wanting to be rude, I asked why. He looks me up and down and said, "It reminds me of prison." I think I'm going to be jumped. FML

by dontrapeme / 09/26/2012 at 6:30am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I made a phone call in my office to my doctor. He wanted to call a prescription to my pharmacy, but wanted to know by what method I would prefer my medication. During our conversation, a group of potential clients walked in just as I exclaimed "I definitely prefer oral." FML

by me / 06/22/2012 at 3:28am / United States (Indiana) / Work

Today, when I told my family I was a vegetarian, I expected them to make fun of me because that's just my family. But what I wasn't expecting was my dad to use raw meat as a puppet and make it say, "Eat me! Eat me!" then throw it at my face. FML

by Anonymous / 06/21/2012 at 10:52am / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, I saw an old man struggling with three bags, so I offered to carry them for him. He must not have heard me because when I bent down to take the bags, he thought I was stealing them and punched me in the face. FML

by punchedhelper / 06/20/2012 at 7:27pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to the gynecologist. As she was checking me out, she said, "Wow. So you must get wet a lot." It took me several minutes to realize she was talking about my job bathing dogs. FML

by Anonymous / 06/20/2012 at 7:08pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Health

Today, my friend told me she was going to start drinking gatorade, so she could get the body shape of the athletes on TV. When I tried to explain to her that she'd also need to work out to achieve this, she went nuts and hurled the bottle at my face. FML

by phonnah / 06/20/2012 at 1:59pm / United States (Maryland) / Health

Today, my boyfriend and I were kissing. Halfway through the kiss, he rubs his tongue along all my teeth and says, "You need to brush your teeth." FML

by Brittany / 06/18/2012 at 10:57am / United States / Love

Today, I trimmed my beard. When I showed my wife, she said, "Yeah, but you still look like a serial killer." FML

by Schaf_12 / 06/16/2012 at 2:10pm / Austria (Wien) / Love

Today, I went to see my dermatologist friend for a free consultation on my terrible acne. During my visit, she said I probably won't be getting any more pimples. Excited, I asked her how she could tell. She replied, "There's no more room for it." FML

by ultraattitude / 06/14/2012 at 3:34pm / United States / Health

Today, I found out that my wife and two teenage daughters' periods are all one week after the other. I am living in hell almost every single day. FML

by anonymous / 06/14/2012 at 10:54am / China (Jiangsu) / Health

Today, I was out to coffee with an extremely attractive friend. A crazy man came up to the window we were facing. He took one look at her, then turned to me with a big, congratulatory smile, flashing me a thumbs-up. Then he turned to her, frowned disappointedly and gave a thumbs-down. FML

by offended / 06/14/2012 at 4:11am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that if you whistle Christmas carols while shitting in a public bathroom, a little boy might just look under the stall to see if Santa is pooping. FML

by ww2freak / 06/13/2012 at 9:17pm / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous