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bre_zip_it_up13

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bre_zip_it_up13
  • Town/Country : Chicago, USA
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 9 August 1946 (65 years)
  • Number of visits : 1661
  • Number of comments : 84
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

About bre_zip_it_up13 : i'm weird and sometimes funny but overall crazy and weird but in a (good way). im a teen

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bre_zip_it_up13's favorite FMLs

Today, I was taking a dump in a public toilet, when a guy in the next stall started drunkenly rapping. He kept trying to get me to rap along with him, eventually bashing the wall and threatening to bust my face in if I didn't. I soon found out I can rap to Slob On My Knob pretty well. FML

#19043614 (132)

I agree, your life sucks (6043) - you deserved it (561)

On 02/10/2012 at 8:02pm - misc - by rapper in training (man) - United States

Today, my mom was freaking out about me handling a CD-ROM with my bare hands. When I asked her what all the commotion was about, she said she was worried that I would catch "one of those computer viruses" she'd heard about on the news. FML

#18974920 (249)

I agree, your life sucks (26772) - you deserved it (1456)

On 02/02/2012 at 6:32am - misc - by aliezzedine (man) - Lebanon

Today, I cut my finger with a plastic knife while demonstrating that you can't cut yourself with a plastic knife. FML

#18951415 (244)

I agree, your life sucks (2758) - you deserved it (9644)

On 01/30/2012 at 10:27am - health - by cbad (woman) - United States

Today, I learnt there's a woman who comes into my store only to hear my Barry White-like voice. My boss knows who it is, yet refuses to tell me because it's "hilarious." I'm now cautious of every customer. FML

#18950332 (42)

I agree, your life sucks (5814) - you deserved it (776)

On 01/30/2012 at 4:00am - work - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was standing in the bathroom and farted. It felt like someone stabbed me in the butt. I jumped out of shock, and my head slammed into the mirror. My glasses fell onto the floor and broke. I now need new glasses, a new mirror, and an ice pack for my head. All because I farted. FML

#18946444 (107)

I agree, your life sucks (5542) - you deserved it (2741)

On 01/29/2012 at 8:27pm - health - by Rachal - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, one of my dorm-mates started laughing at a bra hanging to dry in our bathroom. She thought it was hilarious that a college student would still have "such small, baby tits." It was my bra. FML

#18924732 (166)

I agree, your life sucks (7185) - you deserved it (661)

On 01/27/2012 at 12:14pm - misc - by selfesteemboost (woman) - Belize (Belize)

Today, while waiting outside a liquor store for my boyfriend, a drunk guy leaned over my shoulder, took a large bite out of my burger, and walked away. FML

#18913819 (207)

I agree, your life sucks (19351) - you deserved it (2522)

On 01/26/2012 at 2:34am - misc - by RequilaRainbow - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my husband thought it would be "funny" to put laxatives in the cakes for my son's 7th birthday party. Over 40 kids came to the party. FML

#18912466 (260)

I agree, your life sucks (9920) - you deserved it (1010)

On 01/25/2012 at 11:18pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, an intoxicated homeless man tried to chase me out of a McDonald's because he thought I was President Obama. I'm a 26-year-old white woman. FML

#18892690 (64)

I agree, your life sucks (8593) - you deserved it (802)

On 01/23/2012 at 7:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, while my boyfriend and I were in the shower, we began to get a bit frisky. That was until I lifted my arms and he immediately made one of his "Chewbacca Calls." He was referring to my armpits that I had forgotten to shave. FML

#18867304 (176)

I agree, your life sucks (9772) - you deserved it (16094)

On 01/21/2012 at 12:47am - love - by Reliena (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I found out my boyfriend has been cheating on me. In tears, I called my best friend and told him everything. He responded with one- or two-word answers throughout, but I felt better all the same. That is, until I heard him begin to take a loud piss half-way through my sentence. FML

#18865493 (231)

I agree, your life sucks (6928) - you deserved it (1754)

On 01/20/2012 at 9:31pm - love - by fuckthepopo (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was at Disneyland with a friend. We were watching the light show, and when Tinkerbell came out, we both started crying. Some guy noticed and called us "fucking pussies". FML

#18862954 (172)

I agree, your life sucks (6658) - you deserved it (25630)

On 01/20/2012 at 4:17pm - misc - by sharky (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while over at a friend's house, I saw a framed picture of a young African boy on her fridge. I asked, "Oh, is this one of those kids you adopt from third world countries? My grandma does that too." She responded, "What do you mean? That's my cousin." FML

#18857503 (68)

I agree, your life sucks (2454) - you deserved it (9581)

On 01/19/2012 at 10:33pm - kids - by WillaminaL (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I found out if I refuse my boyfriend anything in public, he will continually yell out, "Penis!" until he gets his way. FML

#18837069 (182)

I agree, your life sucks (7221) - you deserved it (2304)

On 01/17/2012 at 6:41pm - misc - by anon. (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend, who is supposed to protect me from murderers and rapists, had an emotional breakdown because he was so excited that I'd cooked french fries for dinner. FML

#18833422 (242)

I agree, your life sucks (3137) - you deserved it (5838)

On 01/17/2012 at 8:20am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia