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brandonlee69

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brandonlee69

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  • Number of visits : 1187
  • Number of comments : 15
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Visits<b>markcallanan_</b> - the 08/08/2014 at 7:32pm<b>Katiekhalifa</b> - the 03/02/2014 at 6:09pm<b>harry2hopes</b> - the 06/24/2013 at 8:39pm<b>Budderchook</b> - the 03/15/2013 at 7:17pm

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brandonlee69's favorite FMLs

Today, after spending months learning how to play the guitar and memorizing the music to my girlfriend's all-time favorite song, I performed it for her. Her response? "Well, you kind of ruined that song for me now." FML

#18563355
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30228) - you deserved it (4935)

On 12/20/2011 at 5:41pm - love - by tommy - United States (Georgia)

Today, my girlfriend and I were getting hot and heavy. She had her shirt off, and commented on the small size of her breasts. Trying to make her feel better, I said I dated smaller breasts. She replied by saying she'd dated bigger penises. FML

#18561391
291 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16480) - you deserved it (52615)

On 12/20/2011 at 12:57pm - intimacy - by Ryan - United States (Arizona)

Today, my girlfriend tried to cover my eyes while I was driving on the main street, all because she caught me looking at an ad featuring bikini-clad girls on the bus ahead of our car. FML

#18553944
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26044) - you deserved it (5449)

On 12/19/2011 at 3:31pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, my mother hacked my Facebook and broke up with my boyfriend and pretended to be me. She told him if he ever talks to me again, she'll call the cops. FML

#18518838
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34907) - you deserved it (3431)

On 12/15/2011 at 10:20am - love - by NinjaWafflesx (woman) - United States

Today, I started to seductively kiss my girlfriend on the neck. When I asked her if she liked it, she said, "Yes, because I don't have to smell your breath." FML

#18517273
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24120) - you deserved it (24528)

On 12/15/2011 at 2:00am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I had to convince my girlfriend that, no matter how much she makes herself burp, she won't lose any weight. She still doesn't understand why. FML

#18503694
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26976) - you deserved it (3534)

On 12/13/2011 at 3:26pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, it's my birthday. My boyfriend took me to dinner and near the end, he pulled out a long, rectangular box. Thinking it was a necklace, I got very excited. It was a wand. FML

#18501609
296 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25480) - you deserved it (15905)

On 12/13/2011 at 7:26am - love - by reallyman__639 - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, I was sick and laid up in bed, and my boyfriend decided to bring me some soup. Just as he reached the bed, he tripped over his own feet and spilled the soup all over me. FML

#18488373
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24234) - you deserved it (2988)

On 12/11/2011 at 8:16pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I went down on my boyfriend for the first time. Afterwards, he laid on the bed, silent and naked in the fetal position, I had to sit there stroking his head for an hour. I think I raped my boyfriend. FML

#18483356
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48594) - you deserved it (7729)

On 12/11/2011 at 6:54am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I drank a fifth of vodka before I took my political science final. My professor later called me to tell me that I had written "Obama is a beautiful chocolate man" to every essay question. FML

#18465913
0 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11014) - you deserved it (87469)

On 12/09/2011 at 1:11am - misc - by blondie101 - United States

Today, I found out that if a cop asks you if you have any weapons, and you reply by saying "only these guns" while flexing your biceps, they won't take it very well. And neither will the cops down at the station. FML

#18444451
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11660) - you deserved it (44256)

On 12/06/2011 at 12:24pm - misc - by Anonymous -

Today, my husband and I got into an argument. I tried to assault him with a laptop. He yelled, "Don't hit me with the computer." My apartment neighbor yelled through the wall, "Do what you gotta do, girl." FML

#18439975
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15027) - you deserved it (39978)

On 12/05/2011 at 9:31pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, after having spent days working on it, I finished off a really elaborate seasonal greetings card for my boss. When I gave it to him, he took one look at it, flicked it in his trash can and said, "Fuck off, Steve." So much for a Christmas bonus. FML

#18438715
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18653) - you deserved it (17296)

On 12/05/2011 at 7:11pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, while I was watching TV, my boyfriend took my unicorn pillow pet and made it hump my arm. I told him to stop acting like a child. He replied, "Children don't have sex like this," and started making sex noises while making the pillow pet hump my arm faster and harder. FML

#18425856
268 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28608) - you deserved it (9995)

On 12/04/2011 at 8:01am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I played Taboo with my boyfriend and my conservative family. It was my boyfriend's turn and his word was "cherry". His only clue to me was, "I popped your..." He was the only one who found it funny. FML

#18424133
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37225) - you deserved it (5107)

On 12/04/2011 at 12:44am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)



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