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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 768
  • Number of comments : 785
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 43 posted

About brandoneyez1 : I'm a California boy and have family all over the place. Love FML cause I can always get a good laugh.
I have a blind dog, she was born that way, but she has no idea she's blind.
I don't bite... Feel free to message me.

brandoneyez1's page activity

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Liked!<b>juststephhere</b> - the 10/05/2014 at 7:48pm<b>isabella1501</b> - the 09/09/2014 at 6:42pm

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An FML submitted on a Saturday morning between 5 and 6am can't be a good FML.

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brandoneyez1's favorite FMLs

Today, I was about to make a left turn. In the turn lane a little old lady was waiting for the light to change. On the back of her car was a bumper sticker that said "Honk if you love Jesus!" I gave her a honk and waved. She leaned out and yelled, "The light's red, asshole." FML


I agree, your life sucks (45611) - you deserved it (13539)

On 07/16/2013 at 9:12am - misc - by TNDriver (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my boyfriend started coming onto me, despite me being on my period. He said it was okay, and we went to his bedroom. He told me to spread my legs as he spread his hands. Thinking it'd be sexy, I did. He then yelled, "I AM MOSES! I PART THE RED SEA!" and broke down in laughter. FML


I agree, your life sucks (55780) - you deserved it (14638)

On 03/06/2013 at 3:20pm - intimacy - by RedWaters - United States

Today, I was washing my hands in the bathroom when I looked up and saw a spider on my cheek. Panicking, I slapped myself in the face as hard as I could to kill it. Turns out the spider was on the mirror. FML


I agree, your life sucks (18323) - you deserved it (37092)

On 10/18/2011 at 2:55am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)

FML's blog

  • Krumla's Illustrated FML
  • It's Friday, so a bold font is required. I was sitting in my caravan by the side of busy road cooking cocktail sausages over a gas stove when I realised it was time to start writing something about this…

Friday 24 October 2014

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