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Offline (the 09/13/2015 at 2:20am) | Search for a member
About brandoneyez1 : favorite quote;
"If you're not laughing, you're not living."
I love reading FML and sharing the misfortunes of every day life. I think it proves we are fallible and can find humor in many situations. The best part of FML is we all have our moments.
I'm running low on fucks to give. Feel free to message me. I may have an extra fuck or two stashed away ;)
Feel free to message me.
What'cha looking at?
You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.
I like your style
You've liked someone. How cute!
Back from a party
An FML submitted on a Saturday morning between 5 and 6am can't be a good FML.
Today, I was about to make a left turn. In the turn lane a little old lady was waiting for the light to change. On the back of her car was a bumper sticker that said "Honk if you love Jesus!" I gave her a honk and waved. She leaned out and yelled, "The light's red, asshole." FML
Today, my boyfriend started coming onto me, despite me being on my period. He said it was okay, and we went to his bedroom. He told me to spread my legs as he spread his hands. Thinking it'd be sexy, I did. He then yelled, "I AM MOSES! I PART THE RED SEA!" and broke down in laughter. FML
Today, I was washing my hands in the bathroom when I looked up and saw a spider on my cheek. Panicking, I slapped myself in the face as hard as I could to kill it. Turns out the spider was on the mirror. FML
Friday 12 February 2016