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bradyarcher

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bradyarcher

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  • Number of visits : 72
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

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bradyarcher's FML badges

50 favourites

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bradyarcher's favorite FMLs

Today, as I was riding my bike, my foot slipped and I did a slow speed-tumble over the top, ripping my balls wide open. Number of stitches: too many to count. Size of balls: softball. Color: blue. FML

#20027548
249 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37622) - you deserved it (2166)

On 08/18/2012 at 1:15am - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was to give a presentation to several of my company's senior employees. The moment I stood up, I accidentally let rip a monstrous fart that lasted a good two or three seconds. When I tried to utter an apology, I clammed up and let out a whiny grunt. They were not amused. FML

#19668387
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20615) - you deserved it (4401)

On 05/23/2012 at 4:38pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, we got a call that my brother stuck a rock up his nose and couldn't get it out. My mom had to pick him up and take him to the hospital. My brother is 20. FML

#19666346
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21896) - you deserved it (1718)

On 05/23/2012 at 2:13am - misc - by littlebigbrother - Japan

Today, I was really sick. I had been sneezing all day and my skin had started to dry out. When my mom asked me if I needed anything, I immediately responded with "lotion and tissues," not realizing what I was suggesting. She then talked to me for 20 minutes about how "masturbation is okay." FML

#19650159
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26327) - you deserved it (2996)

On 05/20/2012 at 2:11am - intimacy - by sick and awkward - United States (Maryland)

Today, I thought I felt my baby kicking for the first time. After excitedly exclaiming this fact to the few people around me, I involuntarily let out the loudest fart. Not the baby kicking, just gas. FML

Today, I told my boyfriend I loved him. He responded by fist pumping. FML

#19641486
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20800) - you deserved it (4664)

On 05/18/2012 at 11:05am - love - by Great. (woman) - United States (Montana)

Today, I started my job as one of those sign spinners. About an hour later, some people drove up, yelled, "Bitch, get off my corner," and threw water balloons at me. My boss made me keep working in the soaking wet outfit. FML

#19637949
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19876) - you deserved it (2211)

On 05/17/2012 at 6:02pm - work - by poseidon5213 - United States (California)

Today, my first date consisted of him and me in the emergency room of the hospital after his little brother hit me in the face with a baseball bat. FML

#19635383
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22558) - you deserved it (1628)

On 05/17/2012 at 1:05am - misc - by secret_source (woman) - United States

Today, I went to the hair salon. When I got home, my three-year-old daughter told me I looked like Dora the Explorer. FML

#19635267
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20065) - you deserved it (5151)

On 05/17/2012 at 12:35am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend got mad at me because I refused to keep him company while he took a shit. FML

#19633395
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20781) - you deserved it (3299)

On 05/16/2012 at 6:38pm - misc - by HK (woman) - United Kingdom (West Sussex)

Today, I finally got the chance to meet this wonderful guy I met on a dating site. She was very excited to see me, too. FML

#19632060
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23488) - you deserved it (5026)

On 05/16/2012 at 1:02pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I had to collect my daughter from the hospital. Her boyfriend was even more upset than she was, because his iPhone's screen was damaged beyond repair when the doctor pulled it out of my daughter's vagina. FML

#19631928
472 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47064) - you deserved it (4368)

On 05/16/2012 at 12:10pm - intimacy - by smart move there (woman) - Ireland (Kildare)

Today, my boyfriend walked in on me as I was browsing a baby name website. I explained to him that I was naming characters for a novel I was planning to write, but he is completely convinced that I'm pregnant, and has even told his parents. FML

#19631017
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24135) - you deserved it (3398)

On 05/16/2012 at 4:20am - kids - by inapickle (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, my 20-year-old son's external hard-drive stopped working. He's crying on my shoulder now, not because of the movies, porn, work, or music he probably lost, but because of the now irretrievable complete series of Digimon that he'd collected. FML

#19629941
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18929) - you deserved it (3569)

On 05/15/2012 at 11:05pm - misc - by OytoBeAfather (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was told the Mandarin greeting that my new Chinese friends at school taught me was not really a greeting at all. I've been proclaiming "I'm a dumb bitch" every time I've greeted them, almost every day for the past month. FML

#19627538
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22476) - you deserved it (7631)

On 05/15/2012 at 3:02pm - misc - by FML (woman) - Finland



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  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

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