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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I was taking an exam and I knew I was unprepared, so I wrote some cheat notes on my ankle. As I cross my legs to look at my notes, I realize I wore tall boots to class. I can't even cheat properly. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9942) - you deserved it (92052)
On 04/16/2009 at 12:21pm - misc - by Joe (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I went on a date with a guy for the first time. We went to Starbucks and got coffee. We talked for awhile, and we were joking and having a good time. Suddenly, he put his hand on my stomach and said, "soon, this will be plump with my seed." FML
I agree, your life sucks (233305) - you deserved it (20084)
On 04/06/2009 at 3:39pm - intimacy - by creepermagnet (woman) - United States (Maryland)
Today, this girl and I were chilling in my apartment and things got heated up and we started making out. One thing lead to another and the next thing I knew she was giving me head. I was getting ready to bust when she stopped, looked up into my eyes and said "Do you believe in Jesus?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (140169) - you deserved it (19179)
On 03/26/2009 at 7:41am - intimacy - by JAY22 (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, while I was out to eat, I was approached by the restaurant manager. He told me that while he respected my personal choices, his patrons didn't feel comfortable with someone who used to be a man using the women's restroom. He thought I was a transsexual. I am a naturally-born female. FML
I agree, your life sucks (238800) - you deserved it (19656)
On 03/17/2009 at 9:24pm - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (Maine)
Today, I was sifting through my parents old home movies. I put in one and was horrified to see my parents having sex. I immediately ejected the tape and looked at the label. It said "Bermuda, 1989". They've told me I was conceived in Bermuda around that time. I've seen my own conception. FML
I agree, your life sucks (129966) - you deserved it (24516)
On 03/16/2009 at 7:08pm - intimacy - by ihatevideos (man) - United States (Oregon)
Today, I was rejected from the University of Washington. My dad has been a professor there for 30 years, and is on the board of admissions. FML
I agree, your life sucks (273340) - you deserved it (59274)
On 03/16/2009 at 12:05am - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (373031) - you deserved it (413109)
On 03/09/2009 at 6:58pm - intimacy - by RC3Welly (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I was talking to my mom. During the conversation she randomly asked me "does he take his leg off when you guys are having sex?" Referring to the guy I've been seeing who has a prosthetic leg. My dad then asked "does he beat you with it too if you've been naughty?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (157686) - you deserved it (19667)
On 03/04/2009 at 6:07pm - intimacy - by Girl123999 (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was volunteering at a nursing home calling bingo numbers. One woman stood up and started making noises, so I assumed she had won and started clapping. She then fell on the floor and died of a heart attack. I essentially applauded her death. FML
I agree, your life sucks (67561) - you deserved it (8431)
On 02/12/2009 at 5:21pm - misc - by janedoe (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
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