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bradisnumbera

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bradisnumbera

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bradisnumbera's favorite FMLs

Today, I was taking an exam and I knew I was unprepared, so I wrote some cheat notes on my ankle. As I cross my legs to look at my notes, I realize I wore tall boots to class. I can't even cheat properly. FML

#1018681
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15438) - you deserved it (127885)

On 04/16/2009 at 12:21pm - misc - by Joe (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I went on a date with a guy for the first time. We went to Starbucks and got coffee. We talked for a while, and we were joking and having a good time. Suddenly, he put his hand on my stomach and said, "Soon, this will be plump with my seed." FML

#836792
934 comments

I agree, your life sucks (365701) - you deserved it (41131)

On 04/06/2009 at 3:39pm - misc - by creepermagnet (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, this girl and I were chilling in my apartment and things got heated up and we started making out. One thing lead to another and the next thing I knew she was giving me head. I was getting ready to bust when she stopped, looked up into my eyes and said "Do you believe in Jesus?" FML

#618909
380 comments

I agree, your life sucks (202459) - you deserved it (31671)

On 03/26/2009 at 7:41am - intimacy - by JAY22 (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, while I was out to eat, I was approached by the restaurant manager. He told me that while he respected my personal choices, his patrons didn't feel comfortable with someone who used to be a man using the women's restroom. He thought I was a transsexual. I am a naturally-born female. FML

#424816
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (355338) - you deserved it (33510)

On 03/17/2009 at 9:24pm - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, I was sifting through my parents old home movies. I put in one and was horrified to see my parents having sex. I immediately ejected the tape and looked at the label. It said "Bermuda, 1989". They've told me I was conceived in Bermuda around that time. I've seen my own conception. FML

#391986
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (178423) - you deserved it (34620)

On 03/16/2009 at 7:08pm - intimacy - by ihatevideos (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was rejected from the University of Washington. My dad has been a professor there for 30 years, and is on the board of admissions. FML

#366764
351 comments

I agree, your life sucks (404424) - you deserved it (90297)

On 03/16/2009 at 12:05am - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was talking to my mom. During the conversation she asked me, "Does he take his leg off when you guys are having sex?" Referring to the guy I've been seeing who has a prosthetic leg. My dad then asked, "Does he beat you with it too if you've been naughty?" FML

#209116
325 comments

I agree, your life sucks (237934) - you deserved it (31201)

On 03/04/2009 at 6:07pm - intimacy - by Girl123999 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was volunteering at a nursing home calling bingo numbers. One woman stood up and started making noises, so I assumed she had won and started clapping. She then fell on the floor and died of a heart attack. I essentially applauded her death. FML

#32415
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (83254) - you deserved it (11003)

On 02/12/2009 at 5:21pm - misc - by janedoe (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)



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