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bradford1994's FML badges
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bradford1994's favorite FMLs
by Ggirl / 10/01/2013 at 3:41pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, I was told there was a bench warrant out for my arrest because a notice to appear for jury duty was sent to my old address and I never responded. I haven't lived at my old address for 2 years. FML
by novapine / 10/01/2013 at 4:34am / United States (Kentucky) / Miscellaneous
Today, I sent my girlfriend a text this morning saying I love you. I rarely do this and instead of receiving the same message back, I got a message from my girlfriend accusing me of meaning to send it to someone else and dumped me. FML
by anonymous / 10/01/2013 at 1:36am / United States (West Virginia) / Love
Today, I walked into the kitchen to find my daughter trying to cut her wrist with a plastic spoon. When I asked her why, she said her friend Lucy did that so her parents would buy her pretty things. My daughter and Lucy are both four years old. FML
by Anonymous / 09/30/2013 at 7:54pm / United Kingdom (West Lothian) / Kids
by Anonymous / 09/30/2013 at 3:02pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
by meens42 / 09/30/2013 at 4:04am / United States / Kids
by NotSoTypical / 09/29/2013 at 7:30pm / United States / Money
Today, I finally handed my girlfriend a portrait of her. I'm not the best drawer, but I spent weeks on it and I thought it turned out pretty good. When she looked at it, she asked what kind of dog was it. FML
by Laserbeaver / 09/29/2013 at 9:00am / United States (Massachusetts) / Love
by -__-" / 09/29/2013 at 1:45am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous
Today, I saw two kids having a fistfight in the street. I ran over to stop them, and one ended up hitting me in the eye. I now have a black eye over what turned out to have been a fight over who was going to get the last slice of pizza. FML
by ahuman / 09/29/2013 at 1:10am / United States / Kids
Today, I was all set to lose my virginity to my girlfriend. I was ecstatic, until she threatened to "beat the fuck" out of me if I didn't make it good for her. The actual sex was 30 seconds of me being given death glares, causing me to lose my boner and have to leave in shame. FML
by :( / 09/28/2013 at 5:24pm / Australia (Queensland) / Intimacy
Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She said yes, but the ring turned out to be quite tight on her finger. She then chewed me out, saying that I can't do anything right, then changed her answer to no. FML
by Anonymous / 09/28/2013 at 12:25pm / Serbia / Love
by Anonymous / 09/28/2013 at 12:08am / United States (Ohio) / Love
by Anonymous / 09/27/2013 at 4:33pm / United States (Texas) / Love
Today, I was cleaning up litter from the street, when a guy asked who I work for. I said nobody and that I was just doing some community service. Before I could clarify that it was voluntary community service, he called me a "piece of shit delinquent", spat on me, and walked off. FML
by sigh / 09/27/2013 at 3:01pm / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, my parents let me babysit my baby sister for the first time. About an hour after they left,… 2Today, I saw an elderly lady fall over in the street. Nobody bothered to do anything, so I went… 3Today, I was fired for being late to work, even though the only reason I was late was because I had…
- Today, I realized I finally had enough money saved to surprise my girlfriend with her dream trip to… Today, I was coaching some kids in table tennis when I told them to try a forehand loop, or smash.… Today, my boss called me in to work on my only day off in two weeks. After working more than a full…