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bradford1994's FML badges
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bradford1994's favorite FMLs
Today, my boyfriend dumped me for knowing more about Batman than he does. He's only seen some of the movies, and as a kid my dad owned a comic book store. He still doesn't see why I should know more, because I'm a girl, and "girls aren't supposed to know about super heroes." FML
by Anonymous / 10/15/2013 at 5:48pm / United States (Illinois) / Love
by secretsmakefriends / 10/15/2013 at 5:43pm / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous
Today, my boss told me that my attitude to work is awesome and that he'd follow my example of coming in half-an-hour early every day from now on. I relish those 30 minutes as the only time I can get work done without him constantly interrupting me. So much for that. FML
by Karansuni / 10/14/2013 at 6:38am / Germany / Work
Today, my weird neighbor is a conspiracy theorist and thinks the government is trying to kill him. Someone thought it would be funny to shine a red laser light through his window. I was on the stairs when he ran past, screaming bloody murder, sending me down a flight of steps. FML
by Anonymous / 10/14/2013 at 3:13am / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous
by mustabeendrugs / 10/13/2013 at 9:14pm / United States (Arizona) / Work
Today, in revenge for me pulling the old salt-in-the-soda prank on him, my dad showed up at my college dressed in a tight blouse and miniskirt, demanding that I come home early with him. I think I'm going to be lynched next time I go to class. FML
by HSampsON / 10/13/2013 at 5:20pm / Niger (Niamey) / Miscellaneous
Today, after holing myself up in my room for the day, I eventually turned my phone back on and told my girlfriend that my grandma passed away today. She replied, "Ask me if I fucking care," then accused me of not caring about our relationship because I went offline all day. FML
by Anonymous / 10/13/2013 at 12:20pm / United States (Alabama) / Miscellaneous
by roundtherose / 10/12/2013 at 9:59pm / United States (Alaska) / Miscellaneous
Today, my mom was acting really pissy, and I couldn't help but mutter that she must be on her period. Five hours later, I'm glued to the toilet with my phone, because she went all out for revenge and spiked my dinner with some hellishly potent kind of laxative. FML
by Anonymous / 10/12/2013 at 6:03pm / Iceland (Borgarfjardarsysla) / Health
Today, after sending in my passport application for a trip to Paris, I got a letter from the state department saying despite them having my original birth certificate, I don't exist. Upon calling them, I was told that it only proves I'm a citizen, not that I exist. I pay taxes and have a mortgage. FML
by Anonymous / 10/11/2013 at 7:45am / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was at my in-laws' house, and as I was walking to the living room I had my hands on the back of my hips supporting my back. My mother-in-law told me to stop because it makes me look pregnant. I'm 9 months pregnant. FML
by she knows / 10/08/2013 at 12:30pm / United States (Hawaii) / Miscellaneous
by animal lover... / 10/05/2013 at 6:34pm / Animals
Today, my girlfriend got mad at me because I slept on the couch last night. She also seems to have forgotten that we had an argument last night, after which she stormed into our bedroom and locked me out. FML
by Couch Potato / 10/02/2013 at 7:16pm / United States (California) / Love
by Anonymous / 10/01/2013 at 4:25pm / Canada (Quebec) / Love
- Today, one week after my girlfriend berated me for not being invested enough in our relationship, I… Today, I put a sock on my dorm room door to get everyone to think I was getting laid. In truth, I'm… Today, the guy I'm seeing and I were having sex. While I was having my orgasm, he looked at me and…
- Today, I was left by my girlfriend of 3 years because I was over-jealous of her male friend because… Today, while changing my 10 week old baby's nappy and everything was going fine as usual. Just as I… Today, I came out to my father and stepmother,we were watching TV and my stepmom says "that guy is…