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bradford1994's favorite FMLs
by thecathater / 07/09/2013 at 9:35am / Australia (Queensland) / Kids
Today, I finally worked up the courage to ask my crush to a movie. What I didn't realise is that she would bring a "friend" along, and that I would have to sit next to them making out for 2 hours. FML
by thirdwheel / 07/09/2013 at 7:05am / Australia (Queensland) / Love
Today, working my job, I had to explain to a kid that Pokemon is owned by Nintendo and they don't make it for the Xbox. Upset by this, he took hold of my leg and started biting. I'm also suspended, because his mother complained when I kicked him off me. FML
by Garchomp / 07/08/2013 at 10:08pm / United States (Kansas) / Work
by Erica / 07/08/2013 at 1:27pm / United States (California) / Love
Today, while at the doctor's, a week overdue with my first child, I was told that sex and orgasms can sometimes help to induce labor. On the way home, my boyfriend asked for road head, arguing that "She said that stuff about orgasms." Not you, honey. FML
by realitybites / 07/08/2013 at 1:03pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy
by walker / 07/06/2013 at 12:17am / United States / Love
by The fuck, junior? / 07/05/2013 at 6:45pm / Canada (Quebec) / Kids
by Anonymous / 07/05/2013 at 10:26am / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy
Today, while jogging, a guy tackled me and got my iPhone. Being a good runner, I caught up with him and grabbed him. Next thing I knew, I was on the ground with a policeman yelling in my ear. The guy got away. FML
by anonymous / 07/05/2013 at 2:11am / United States (Minnesota) / Miscellaneous
Today, after cricket training, the homeless man that lives in the drain next to the nets threw a beer bottle full of piss at me for rejecting him for a date last week. I ducked; it sailed through my car’s open window and smashed all over the seats. FML
by Anonymous / 06/21/2013 at 5:04am / Australia (South Australia) / Transportation
Today, while running, a man ran up next to me and started jogging with me. He asked if he could run with me and I said yes. Later, when I told him I was going home, he followed me home. When I asked him to leave, he say down on my lawn in protest. He has been there for over 4 hours. FML
by Anonymous / 06/21/2013 at 12:26am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I won an argument against a sexist co-worker. When I left later on, I jumped into my car to drive home, but managed to reverse it into a parked excavator. Guess who's going to hear virginal jokes about women drivers from now on. FML
by fuck the man-dominated construction business / 06/19/2013 at 12:18pm / Finland (Southern Finland) / Work
Today, my duty manager demanded we close the bar early because she wanted to go home. I was subject to abuse from customers for closing early, then shouted at by the duty manager for not being done. My actual bar manager fired me for closing early. FML
by Anonymous / 06/19/2013 at 3:18am / United Kingdom (Manchester) / Work
by Anonymous / 06/18/2013 at 7:22pm / United States (Connecticut) / Kids
Today, my sister came to stay with me in my apartment for the last few weeks of her difficult pregnancy. However she didn't tell me she was bringing her two dogs, her jackass of a husband, my bratty nephew and an inflatable kiddie pool so she could have a natural water birth in my living room. FML
by Anonymous / 06/18/2013 at 6:48pm / United States (New York) / Kids
- 1Today, my parents let me babysit my baby sister for the first time. About an hour after they left,… 2Today, I saw an elderly lady fall over in the street. Nobody bothered to do anything, so I went… 3Today, I was fired for being late to work, even though the only reason I was late was because I had…