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bradford1994's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 12/10/2013 at 4:06pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy
by scared shitless / 12/10/2013 at 4:50am / United States (California) / Work
Today, I was chatting with my mother. She was telling me about some new mouthwash she recently got, and the moment the word "gargle" escaped her lips, my husband muttered just a little too loudly from the kitchen, "How about gargling my balls instead, bitch." Our family is now at war. FML
by Anonymous / 12/08/2013 at 3:39pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by ballplaya52 / 12/08/2013 at 12:04am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, my wicked mother has been with us for a week. She's already thrown away my daughter's favorite toy, broke my computer, scratched my oak table, stained my most expensive shirt, peed in our bed, and called the attention of the cops by staring at kids in school. She's staying for three months. FML
by longlongwinter / 12/05/2013 at 11:50am / United Kingdom (Southampton) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 12/01/2013 at 1:07am / United States / Miscellaneous
by Jack / 11/30/2013 at 3:31am / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 11/29/2013 at 6:56am / United States (Colorado) / Intimacy
by sister sister / 11/25/2013 at 12:38pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy
Today, my parents kicked me out of the house because they were having a party. They gave me twenty bucks to go see a movie. Well, the movie ended pretty quick, but the trauma of seeing my parents in a swingers' orgy will take some time getting over. FML
by why god / 11/25/2013 at 1:16am / United States (California) / Intimacy
by awkwardpaul / 11/22/2013 at 5:18am / United Kingdom (Sheffield) / Love
Today, I watched a little girl laugh while giving bread to some pigeons at a bus stop. A bus then arrived. All the pigeons moved out of the away, except one. Its head got crushed by a wheel, and some blood splattered onto the little girl's shoes, who then screamed. With laughter. FML
by B_and_W / 11/21/2013 at 6:35am / France / Kids
by Anonymous / 11/19/2013 at 10:42pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy
by cheyeahh6 / 11/17/2013 at 5:41pm / Australia (Victoria) / Work
Today, I was at a diner with friends when we decided to put our phones in the middle of the table on the basis that whoever looks at theirs first has to pay. It was going well, until someone rushed up behind me, slammed my face into the table and ran out with our 4 phones. FML
by Anonymous / 11/17/2013 at 4:59pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
- Today, I’m on vacation in Japan. Hungry, I went to a restaurant. Looking at photos of the food, I… Today, I couldn't get into my car. I got mad at the lock, and my key broken inside it. It wasn't my… Today, I sprayed pepper spray on a guy who appeared to be following me. He was really cute, and was…