bradford1994

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bradford1994

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 15 August 1994 (22 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 9095
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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bradford1994's page activity

Visits<b>renkar</b> - the 12/14/2013 at 10:02pm<b>thebestintheworl</b> - the 11/27/2013 at 4:17pm<b>jadeluv</b> - the 10/03/2013 at 6:36pm<b>wackadoodle103</b> - the 07/29/2013 at 5:15pm<b>LovesSushi</b> - the 03/23/2013 at 7:51pm<b>185th_19_kilo</b> - the 03/16/2013 at 4:10am

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YDI master

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Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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bradford1994's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out that I am bleeding from my cervix and must refrain from having sex for the next two weeks. My fiancé pointedly asked if my cervix has anything to do with my mouth. FML

by Anonymous / 12/10/2013 at 4:06pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, at my job as a night janitor, at which I work alone, I saw an old man enter a bathroom. When I went to investigate, it was completely empty. I'm now scared to work. FML

by scared shitless / 12/10/2013 at 4:50am / United States (California) / Work

Today, I was chatting with my mother. She was telling me about some new mouthwash she recently got, and the moment the word "gargle" escaped her lips, my husband muttered just a little too loudly from the kitchen, "How about gargling my balls instead, bitch." Our family is now at war. FML

by Anonymous / 12/08/2013 at 3:39pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I learned that when your mom threatens to embarrass you by singing in public, the wrong response is, "Yeah? I dare you." FML

Today, my wicked mother has been with us for a week. She's already thrown away my daughter's favorite toy, broke my computer, scratched my oak table, stained my most expensive shirt, peed in our bed, and called the attention of the cops by staring at kids in school. She's staying for three months. FML

by longlongwinter / 12/05/2013 at 11:50am / United Kingdom (Southampton) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I reduced my psychologist to tears. FML

by Anonymous / 12/01/2013 at 1:07am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I realized my girlfriend has been "on her period" for almost two months. FML

by Jack / 11/30/2013 at 3:31am / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy

Today, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time. It was also the first time he'd ever had sex. How could I tell? He cried all the way through, and called his parents right after. FML

by Anonymous / 11/29/2013 at 6:56am / United States (Colorado) / Intimacy

Today, after having some drinks at the club, I went home with this awesome girl. When I woke up, I thought the house looked really familiar. It belonged to my ex's younger sister. FML

by sister sister / 11/25/2013 at 12:38pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, my parents kicked me out of the house because they were having a party. They gave me twenty bucks to go see a movie. Well, the movie ended pretty quick, but the trauma of seeing my parents in a swingers' orgy will take some time getting over. FML

by why god / 11/25/2013 at 1:16am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I sent a group text round to my friends asking if they wanted to hang out sometime. One of my friends thought this was aimed directly at her and confessed her love for me. FML

by awkwardpaul / 11/22/2013 at 5:18am / United Kingdom (Sheffield) / Love

Today, I watched a little girl laugh while giving bread to some pigeons at a bus stop. A bus then arrived. All the pigeons moved out of the away, except one. Its head got crushed by a wheel, and some blood splattered onto the little girl's shoes, who then screamed. With laughter. FML

by B_and_W / 11/21/2013 at 6:35am / France / Kids

Today, I learned that no matter how much of a nerd a girl claims to be, she is not ready for you to speak Klingon during sex. FML

by Anonymous / 11/19/2013 at 10:42pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, while working at McDonald's, an angry customer called asking for his money back. Apparently we'd put 6 cheeseburgers in his bag instead of 5, he ate them all and now feels sick. FML

by cheyeahh6 / 11/17/2013 at 5:41pm / Australia (Victoria) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was at a diner with friends when we decided to put our phones in the middle of the table on the basis that whoever looks at theirs first has to pay. It was going well, until someone rushed up behind me, slammed my face into the table and ran out with our 4 phones. FML

by Anonymous / 11/17/2013 at 4:59pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous