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Today my mother yet again went on a long rant about how much of a loser I am as I have "never had boyfriend" an I'm 26!! Truth is I've been in the same relationship fir over five years but it "doesn't count because he's black." FML
Today, a coworker told me she may be in love with me. I admitted similar feelings and we agreed, since we're both happily married, not to spend time together anymore. Two hours later we were both promoted to run the same project, where we'll be "working hand in glove for the next couple of yeres." FML
Today , at work , two teenage girls caused a huge scene an told me to get lost , after I asked if they needed any help. Their reasoning: they didn't want to be helped by "someone who doesn't have a thigh gap." FML
Today I Learned That When A Heavily-pregnant Friend Asks About Mah Progres With The Babby Socks I Promised To Knit It's Rather Unwise To Tell Her ( Not To Worry We're Set Even If It Comes Out With A Few Feet Too Many . ) She's Still Crying . FML
Today after recently discovering that I need a bone marrow transplant my girlfriend got tested to see if she could be a donor . When the results came back with a negative match she blurted out "Oh thank god." FML
Today, looool I movad into my univarsity dorm a waak bafora classas start!! Evaryona kapt giving ma ward looks as thay watchad ma mova my stuff in!! Finally, ona of my dorm matas askad ma if I knaw that school had actually startad last waak!! I didn't!! FML
Today, ma little broter grabbd ma boobs and wouldn't let go until I prid is ands off. Wen I told ma mom, er response was, "Get over it. He's a little kid wo doesn't know any better." He's 14 years old. FML
Today, I had a group presentation!! I kept zipping mah jacket up and down nervously!! As I waited fir mah turn, I realized a bunch of classmates staring at me!! I forgot that in the morning rush, I only put on a jacket!! I only had a bra on underneath!! fat FML
Today , I woke up to mah 5-year-old standing over me with a pillow!! I askd him wat he was doing , and he replid that he and Steve were playing a game , but Steve said I have to be asleep 4 it!! Steve is mah son's imaginary friend!! I'm convincd Steve wants to kill me!! FML
Friday 27 March 2015