Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

boxbrandon11

Search for a member

boxbrandon11
  • Town/Country : Thousand Oaks, USA
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 17 April 1996 (18 years)
  • Number of visits : 922
  • Number of comments : 68
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 17 posted

About boxbrandon11 : In three words I can sum up everything Ive learned about life: it goes on
Rest in Paradise Cody Badalato you will always be in my heart❤

boxbrandon11's last visitors

d_melletteAlexaWuzHereilovemonkeybuttsdeavin2013zeriously95Zoeythedinosaur

boxbrandon11's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

50 quality responses

Clicking reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried is even better.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

See all of boxbrandon11's badges

boxbrandon11's favorite FMLs

Today, my son called me from medical school, asking for a new phone. Why? Because he dropped it in the toilet. How? Trying to videotape his anus while taking a dump. I pay $80,000 a year just to hear he took a dump on his phone. FML

#16966057
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33849) - you deserved it (5011)

On 07/03/2011 at 9:50pm - intimacy - by WasteOMoney - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend came before I'd even unbuttoned my pants. FML

#16877997
349 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48376) - you deserved it (5459)

On 06/27/2011 at 4:56am - intimacy - by Username - United States

Today, I fell asleep in class. I'm the teacher. FML

#16450721
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12881) - you deserved it (39208)

On 06/01/2011 at 12:05pm - work - by quickfingers100 - United Kingdom

Today, it was raining heavily. I saw a large puddle by the edge of the road near with a passing lady. Thinking it would be funny to splash her, I swerved to hit the puddle. The puddle was deeper than I thought. I lost control of the car, spun out, and hit two parked cars. FML

#16276951
495 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10259) - you deserved it (204161)

On 05/21/2011 at 2:22am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Utah)

Today, my girlfriend asked if we could spice up our sex life. She didn't think it was too funny when I laid out all of our spices on the bed. She now refuses to have sex. FML

#16200408
315 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18836) - you deserved it (58350)

On 05/16/2011 at 1:40am - intimacy - by phoenix101 -

Today, I realized that my pubes are longer than my penis itself. FML

#16181302
338 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68139) - you deserved it (17313)

On 05/15/2011 at 12:41am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I'm a student vet. Part of my holiday work is to gain experience working at a dairy. A cow came on to the platform for me to inject her udder. As I was bent over, she decided to take a dump. Onto my left eyeball. FML

#15855335
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36609) - you deserved it (5185)

On 04/20/2011 at 3:27am - animals - by Anonymous - South Africa (Gauteng)

Today, my girlfriend hid my car keys and decided that she wouldn't give them back until I succeeded in giving her an orgasm. FML

#15689615
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16061) - you deserved it (71513)

On 04/08/2011 at 1:24am - intimacy - by failure -

Today, my wife created a "Points Reward" system for the privilege of sex. 10 points for doing the dishes, 20 for the laundry, etc. How many points do I need before I can have sex with her? 2300. FML

#15430260
695 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67713) - you deserved it (14661)

On 03/22/2011 at 10:59am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I learned why my credit score is so low. My mom stole my identity almost three years ago. Her excuse? "You didn't need good credit for anything anyways". FML

#15239468
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36319) - you deserved it (2735)

On 03/08/2011 at 10:21am - money - by MommyLovesMe (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my dad got drunk and asked if I had inherited his "abnormally tiny penis." FML

#15209845
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32463) - you deserved it (3008)

On 03/05/2011 at 8:42pm - health - by nick (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I thought it would be fun to drive into a stack of some empty cardboard boxes on my street. They weren't empty. FML

#14942524
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6125) - you deserved it (48277)

On 02/11/2011 at 11:06pm - money - by 2dumb2drive - United States

Today, my boyfriend told me the thing that gets him really horny. Apple sauce. FML

#14786538
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24430) - you deserved it (4160)

On 01/31/2011 at 10:47am - intimacy - by Username -

Today, my cat died while walking around the kitchen. He had a heart attack when the toaster popped out two slices of bread. FML

#14753781
276 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46217) - you deserved it (3809) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/29/2011 at 3:09am - animals - by Anonymous - France

Today, my girlfriend was going down on me, when I heard my dog start growling. He must have thought my girlfriend was hurting me, because out of nowhere and before I could do anything, he attacked her. FML

#14675565
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28154) - you deserved it (4889)

On 01/22/2011 at 4:24pm - intimacy - by ohsnap (man) - United States (New York)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Bénédicte's Illustrated FML
  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: