Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

boxbrandon11

Search for a member

boxbrandon11
  • Town/Country : Thousand Oaks, USA
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 17 April 1996 (18 years)
  • Number of visits : 940
  • Number of comments : 69
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 17 posted

About boxbrandon11 : In three words I can sum up everything Ive learned about life: it goes on
Rest in Paradise Cody Badalato you will always be in my heart❤

boxbrandon11's last visitors

sarcasticloverbuonotomatoaelathehuntressXivionXotoolyxohellnosuckaFedergirlPIGamingH4IL2TH3VHaze64feeshcakeHeyTherexxx

boxbrandon11's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

50 quality responses

Clicking reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried is even better.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

See all of boxbrandon11's badges

boxbrandon11's favorite FMLs

Today, my son called me from medical school, asking for a new phone. Why? Because he dropped it in the toilet. How? Trying to videotape his anus while taking a dump. I pay $80,000 a year just to hear he took a dump on his phone. FML

#16966057
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33859) - you deserved it (5011)

On 07/03/2011 at 9:50pm - intimacy - by WasteOMoney - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend came before I'd even unbuttoned my pants. FML

#16877997
349 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48384) - you deserved it (5459)

On 06/27/2011 at 4:56am - intimacy - by Username - United States

Today, I fell asleep in class. I'm the teacher. FML

#16450721
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12882) - you deserved it (39216)

On 06/01/2011 at 12:05pm - work - by quickfingers100 - United Kingdom

Today, it was raining heavily. I saw a large puddle by the edge of the road near with a passing lady. Thinking it would be funny to splash her, I swerved to hit the puddle. The puddle was deeper than I thought. I lost control of the car, spun out, and hit two parked cars. FML

#16276951
495 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10271) - you deserved it (204588)

On 05/21/2011 at 2:22am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Utah)

Today, my girlfriend asked if we could spice up our sex life. She didn't think it was too funny when I laid out all of our spices on the bed. She now refuses to have sex. FML

#16200408
315 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18839) - you deserved it (58359)

On 05/16/2011 at 1:40am - intimacy - by phoenix101 -

Today, I realized that my pubes are longer than my penis itself. FML

#16181302
338 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68160) - you deserved it (17320)

On 05/15/2011 at 12:41am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I'm a student vet. Part of my holiday work is to gain experience working at a dairy. A cow came on to the platform for me to inject her udder. As I was bent over, she decided to take a dump. Onto my left eyeball. FML

#15855335
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36625) - you deserved it (5184)

On 04/20/2011 at 3:27am - animals - by Anonymous - South Africa (Gauteng)

Today, my girlfriend hid my car keys and decided that she wouldn't give them back until I succeeded in giving her an orgasm. FML

#15689615
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16067) - you deserved it (71521)

On 04/08/2011 at 1:24am - intimacy - by failure -

Today, my wife created a "Points Reward" system for the privilege of sex. 10 points for doing the dishes, 20 for the laundry, etc. How many points do I need before I can have sex with her? 2300. FML

#15430260
693 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67728) - you deserved it (14666)

On 03/22/2011 at 10:59am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I learned why my credit score is so low. My mom stole my identity almost three years ago. Her excuse? "You didn't need good credit for anything anyways". FML

#15239468
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36321) - you deserved it (2735)

On 03/08/2011 at 10:21am - money - by MommyLovesMe (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my dad got drunk and asked if I had inherited his "abnormally tiny penis." FML

#15209845
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32465) - you deserved it (3008)

On 03/05/2011 at 8:42pm - health - by nick (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I thought it would be fun to drive into a stack of some empty cardboard boxes on my street. They weren't empty. FML

#14942524
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6128) - you deserved it (48297)

On 02/11/2011 at 11:06pm - money - by 2dumb2drive - United States

Today, my boyfriend told me the thing that gets him really horny. Apple sauce. FML

#14786538
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24441) - you deserved it (4162)

On 01/31/2011 at 10:47am - intimacy - by Username -

Today, my cat died while walking around the kitchen. He had a heart attack when the toaster popped out two slices of bread. FML

#14753781
276 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46236) - you deserved it (3810) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/29/2011 at 3:09am - animals - by Anonymous - France

Today, my girlfriend was going down on me, when I heard my dog start growling. He must have thought my girlfriend was hurting me, because out of nowhere and before I could do anything, he attacked her. FML

#14675565
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28155) - you deserved it (4890)

On 01/22/2011 at 4:24pm - intimacy - by ohsnap (man) - United States (New York)



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: