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50 favourites
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Today, I was riding my dorm elevator from the 5th floor to the 1st by myself. Since the elevator is really slow, I pulled my pants and underwear down just for kicks. Just then, the door opened to let a girl on at the 4th floor. FML
I agree, your life sucks (3254) - you deserved it (57021)
On 01/20/2010 at 12:27am - misc - by embareassed (man) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I heard the sounds of women grunting in the living room. My husband knows I don't like him to watch porn, so I confronted him. He was masturbating to professional Women's tennis. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8021) - you deserved it (13119)
On 01/19/2010 at 10:46pm - intimacy - by sportyhusband (woman) - United States (Oregon)
Today, I got out of bed and went downstairs in my boxers to get a glass of water. I entered the kitchen and said hi to my visiting mother-in-law, who smiled. Only after a good ten minutes did she decide to tell me that my "wanker-stick" was hanging from a gap in my boxers. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12467) - you deserved it (3936)
On 01/19/2010 at 6:18pm - intimacy - by kappaomicron (man) - United Kingdom
Today, I found out my boyfriend was cheating on me for six months with my best friend of five years. After asking him what she had that I didn't, he responded with one word - "Boobies." FML
I agree, your life sucks (28523) - you deserved it (3111)
On 01/19/2010 at 2:58am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, my boyfriend humped me to the tune of the Imperial March from Star Wars. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13607) - you deserved it (4489)
On 01/17/2010 at 1:13pm - intimacy - by ChubbyTubby (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Today, my boyfriend took me to meet his friends at one of his exclusive "clubs." Expecting it to be his old friends from college, I agreed to go. Apparently, I've been dating a member of the Ku Klux Klan for 2 years. FML
I agree, your life sucks (53914) - you deserved it (6264)
On 01/16/2010 at 4:24pm - love - by Awkward (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, this huge wasp started flying around me. I freaked out and started running from it. Then I slipped, landed face-first in some dog poo, and got stung by the wasp on my leg. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20935) - you deserved it (5135)
On 01/16/2010 at 1:46pm - animals - by life_sucks (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)
Today, while at work at a maternity and baby clothes store, I was supposed to send out an email about our "Beat the Clock" sale. After it was sent to over 500 people, I realized that I'd misspelled the subject line. It read, "Beat the Cock Sale." FML
I agree, your life sucks (9208) - you deserved it (20496)
On 01/14/2010 at 10:55am - work - by Oops (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I met my boyfriend's notoriously difficult mother. I had been looking forward to meeting her and making a good impression. Unfortunately, I could not greet her as her son's penis was still in my mouth. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19380) - you deserved it (9179)
On 01/13/2010 at 11:42am - intimacy - by pleasedtomeetyou (woman) - United Kingdom
Today, I was spooning with my wife when I said, "It's cold tonight." Previously when I used that line, my wife would respond by saying, "I know how to warm you up" and we would make love. Tonight, she said "I know how to warm you up" and farted on me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18969) - you deserved it (6247)
On 01/12/2010 at 1:30am - intimacy - by cold-n-stinky (man) - United States (Oregon)
Today, the little boy I nanny for finally stood up and went 'pee-pee on the potty'. I started cheering and clapping, making a big deal out of it. I flushed while he smiled proudly and pooped on the floor. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20713) - you deserved it (2703)
On 01/11/2010 at 1:08pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, my girlfriend asked for me to come to her. Then move my head in close to her and close my eyes. Expecting a sweet and romantic kiss I positioned my lips for my surprise. My surprise wasn't a kiss, instead it was a nice crunchy booger she placed in my mouth with her finger. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37462) - you deserved it (4058)
On 01/11/2010 at 2:28am - love - by TattedAsian (man) - United States (Missouri)
Today, I woke up feeling extremely nauseous. When I started to feel better, I felt like I needed to spit. I went into the bathroom and opened the toilet to see someone had taken a giant crap the night before and forgotten to flush. The smell made me vomit all over my feet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20029) - you deserved it (2202)
On 01/09/2010 at 11:11am - health - by Michelle (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting it on in his room. In a sexy voice, I asked him, "What are you thinking right now?" He replied, "I'm thinkin' Arby's." FML
I agree, your life sucks (12752) - you deserved it (3760)
On 01/08/2010 at 10:30pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I was on a long-haul plane journey home from my holiday. After 5 hours, I decided to stretch my arms whilst watching a movie. Little did I know that a little girl was approaching, running down the aisle as my arm stretched out. I accidentally clothes-lined a little 9 year old girl. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20531) - you deserved it (2615)
On 01/07/2010 at 7:25pm - misc - by James4929 (man) - United Kingdom
Monday 20 May 2013
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