bowlcut

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bowlcut

0Fucked!

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  • Number of visits : 2187
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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bowlcut's page activity

Visits<b>MNBOY16</b> - the 01/03/2013 at 10:58pm

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50 favourites

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bowlcut's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to have a little "fun" in our secluded backyard. It was only after we had finished that we noticed the three little girls, who live next door, jumping up and down on their trampoline, with their mouths wide open. FML

by Tattooed_Blonde / 01/20/2010 at 7:09am / Australia (Victoria) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was riding my dorm elevator from the 5th floor to the 1st by myself. Since the elevator is really slow, I pulled my pants and underwear down just for kicks. Just then, the door opened to let a girl on at the 4th floor. FML

by embareassed / 01/20/2010 at 12:27am / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, I heard the sounds of women grunting in the living room. My husband knows I don't like him to watch porn, so I confronted him. He was masturbating to professional Women's tennis. FML

by sportyhusband / 01/19/2010 at 10:46pm / United States (Oregon) / Intimacy

Today, I got out of bed and went downstairs in my boxers to get a glass of water. I entered the kitchen and said hi to my visiting mother-in-law, who smiled. Only after a good ten minutes did she decide to tell me that my "wanker-stick" was hanging from a gap in my boxers. FML

by kappaomicron / 01/19/2010 at 6:18pm / United Kingdom / Intimacy

Today, I found out my boyfriend was cheating on me for six months with my best friend of five years. After asking him what she had that I didn't, he responded with one word - "Boobies." FML

by Anonymous / 01/19/2010 at 2:58am / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, my boyfriend humped me to the tune of the Imperial March from Star Wars. FML

by ChubbyTubby / 01/17/2010 at 1:13pm / United States (Georgia) / Geek

Today, my boyfriend took me to meet his friends at one of his exclusive "clubs." Expecting it to be his old friends from college, I agreed to go. Apparently, I've been dating a member of the Ku Klux Klan for 2 years. FML

by Awkward / 01/16/2010 at 4:24pm / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, this huge wasp started flying around me. I freaked out and started running from it. Then I slipped, landed face-first in some dog poo, and got stung by the wasp on my leg. FML

by life_sucks / 01/16/2010 at 1:46pm / New Zealand (Auckland) / Animals

Today, while at work at a maternity and baby clothes store, I was supposed to send out an email about our "Beat the Clock" sale. After it was sent to over 500 people, I realized that I'd misspelled the subject line. It read, "Beat the Cock Sale." FML

by Oops / 01/14/2010 at 10:55am / United States (Georgia) / Work

Today, I met my boyfriend's notoriously difficult mother. I had been looking forward to meeting her and making a good impression. Unfortunately, I could not greet her as her son's penis was still in my mouth. FML

by pleasedtomeetyou / 01/13/2010 at 11:42am / United Kingdom / Intimacy

Today, I was spooning with my wife when I said, "It's cold tonight." Previously when I used that line, my wife would respond by saying, "I know how to warm you up" and we would make love. Tonight, she said "I know how to warm you up" and farted on me. FML

by cold-n-stinky / 01/12/2010 at 1:30am / United States (Oregon) / Intimacy

Today, the little boy I nanny for finally stood up and went 'pee-pee on the potty'. I started cheering and clapping, making a big deal out of it. I flushed while he smiled proudly and pooped on the floor. FML

by Anonymous / 01/11/2010 at 1:08pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Kids

Today, my girlfriend asked for me to come to her. Then move my head in close to her and close my eyes. Expecting a sweet and romantic kiss I positioned my lips for my surprise. My surprise wasn't a kiss, instead it was a nice crunchy booger she placed in my mouth with her finger. FML

by TattedAsian / 01/11/2010 at 2:28am / United States (Missouri) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I woke up feeling extremely nauseous. When I started to feel better, I felt like I needed to spit. I went into the bathroom and opened the toilet to see someone had taken a giant crap the night before and forgotten to flush. The smell made me vomit all over my feet. FML

by Michelle / 01/09/2010 at 11:11am / United States (New York) / Health

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting it on in his room. In a sexy voice, I asked him, "What are you thinking right now?" He replied, "I'm thinkin' Arby's." FML

by Anonymous / 01/08/2010 at 10:30pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Intimacy