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bowlcut

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  • Number of visits : 984
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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bowlcut's page activity

Visits<b>MNBOY16</b> - the 01/03/2013 at 10:58pm

bowlcut's FML badges

50 favourites

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Consolation prize

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Mobility

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bowlcut's favorite FMLs

Today, my 2 year old had a large booger blocking his nose so I pulled it out. I was on the phone and absentmindedly rolling it around between my thumb and pointer finger. I put it in my mouth and crushed it between my teeth for a solid minute before I remembered what it was. FML

#8608911
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7772) - you deserved it (58886)

On 02/24/2010 at 2:45am - kids - by janesays (woman) - United States

Today, I was bored at work, so I started doodling a big muscly arm on my notepad, including bulging veins. After I returned from lunch, my boss called me into his office. Apparently the mail clerk saw and was offended. I was asked to explain why I was drawing a person's 'private area'. FML

#8300405
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19259) - you deserved it (6828)

On 02/15/2010 at 1:41pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Montana)

Today, while working security at the mall, someone shat his pants. The shit dripped all over the floor and escalator. I was the one who had to stand near the poop so no one stepped in it. FML

#8230374
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23227) - you deserved it (2171)

On 02/14/2010 at 12:07am - work - by mallcop - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my husband and I were role playing to keep our marriage alive. His character was a deranged stalker while I was the helpless girl. My neighbor thought I was really being chased so she called the cops. Once they came we explained the whole story and got a fine for disturbing the peace. FML

#8193148
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18037) - you deserved it (6596)

On 02/13/2010 at 1:51am - intimacy - by whathef???? - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was taking a dump in a public restroom. Minding my own business, I heard somebody go into an adjacent stall. It was dead silent and I don't think he knew I was in there. I thought I heard him scratching his arm or something. I was wrong. He was jacking off. I had to listen to it all. FML

#8122396
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17314) - you deserved it (2482)

On 02/11/2010 at 4:09am - intimacy - by stewiesclone - United States

Today, my 4-year-old niece told me she likes it when I'm around because I'm "squishy and smell like fried chicken all the time." FML

#8099934
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9473) - you deserved it (21409)

On 02/10/2010 at 7:07pm - misc - by squishy - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was about to take a crap when the smoke alarm went off. I ran out of the bathroom and tried to run downstairs. I tripped and shit on myself. The alarm had gone off cause my kid put my wallet in the toaster. FML

#8051668
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34617) - you deserved it (4502)

On 02/09/2010 at 1:20pm - kids - by justme - Sent from mobile version

Today, my son pooped in his diaper and managed to somehow take it off without my knowledge. He then sat down on the carpet and imitated a dog with worms, all the way down the hallway, through the living room, and into my bedroom. FML

#8042799
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27229) - you deserved it (3718)

On 02/09/2010 at 3:19am - kids - by matchristityler (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend of six months dumped me for his girlfriend on Grand Theft Auto because he was "tired of having to please two women at once." FML

#8026904
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28647) - you deserved it (3474)

On 02/08/2010 at 9:17pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my boyfriend, who hasn't shaved in a month, went to go shave. I was pretty excited since his beard was starting to make my face itch whenever we kissed. When he came out of the bathroom he had a handlebar mustache. FML

#8001805
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28040) - you deserved it (8133)

On 02/08/2010 at 1:58am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my seven-year-old sister came to stay at my house for the night. She usually just sleepwalks. But tonight she sleep-peed in my clean clothes basket. FML

#7966871
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22113) - you deserved it (1985)

On 02/07/2010 at 7:31am - misc - by wallbanger - Australia (South Australia)

Today, I found out that my girlfriend feeds her boogers to our dog. Sometimes she even makes her do tricks for them. FML

#7925125
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30460) - you deserved it (3035)

On 02/06/2010 at 1:27am - animals - by btg - United States (California)

Today, I was lying on the couch after having surgery on my stomach. My best friend and my mom thought that laughter would be the best medicine. Due to their medicine, I ripped out half my stitches. FML

#7502542
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28023) - you deserved it (2137)

On 01/22/2010 at 5:08pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I took a picture of my "privates" on my girlfriends cell phone and set it as her background without her knowing. Minutes later, I heard her mom scream. She has the same phone. FML

#7492476
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7164) - you deserved it (34010)

On 01/22/2010 at 1:25am - intimacy - by masterzach21 (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I thought it would be romantic to fill my girlfriend's room with scented candles and surprise her when she was done showering. I lied there naked, with Kenny G playing softly. I heard a knock on the door, so I told her to come in. To my surprise it was her mom. FML

#7492284
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8576) - you deserved it (19299)

On 01/22/2010 at 1:16am - intimacy - by Toldyouso (man) - United States (Nevada)



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