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50 favourites
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
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Today, a four pound can of tuna fell on my head at work, and it burst all over my clothes. Since I'm the manager, I had to stay all day reeking of tuna. Now I'm home, my damn cat won't leave me alone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23014) - you deserved it (3465)
On 05/30/2010 at 1:12am - animals - by Alpheas - United States (Texas)
Today, a few friends and I ran through sprinklers at our school until we were all soaked. Then we were told that they put fertilizer in the water. I'm soaked in manure. Now I know why it tasted weird. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8711) - you deserved it (31961)
On 05/26/2010 at 2:35pm - misc - by noraidk - United States (Texas)
Today, while getting ready for a friend's wedding, I was curling my eyelashes. My cat decided to jump onto the towel rod. As I went to catch her, I ripped all the eyelashes out of one eye. I called my boyfriend crying. When he saw me, he laughed and said, "You look really surprised in that eye." FML
I agree, your life sucks (24585) - you deserved it (6197)
On 05/22/2010 at 4:32pm - animals - by lashless (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Today, I fell asleep in class. If that wasn't bad enough, I awoke gasping for air. I almost drowned in my arm fat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8482) - you deserved it (27091)
On 05/21/2010 at 10:41pm - health - by guyshithappensto (man) - United States (Tennessee)
Today, my girlfriend was giving me a hand job, which was great, until she started saying "milk the penis... miiiiilk the penis." FML
I agree, your life sucks (39356) - you deserved it (10318)
On 05/21/2010 at 11:46am - intimacy - by mperrotta913 (man) - United States (South Carolina)
Today, as my boyfriend was unbuttoning my pants to go down on me, he looked at me and said in his best robot voice, "caution, contents may be stinky." FML
I agree, your life sucks (34993) - you deserved it (18161)
On 04/16/2010 at 12:03am - intimacy - by shmelly - United States
Today, I waked in on my boyfriend and his best friend playing "Dick Wars" while wearing glow in the dark condoms. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41544) - you deserved it (7654)
On 03/27/2010 at 4:26am - intimacy - by pumpkinlover89 - United States (California)
Today, I caught my dad spanking my mom with a spatula. The same spatula I use to cook my eggs every morning. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27173) - you deserved it (3106)
On 03/24/2010 at 11:00am - intimacy - by suckstobeme - United States
Today, I put on some goggles on in the pool, only to go underwater and see an old man "discreetly" jerking it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27000) - you deserved it (2960)
On 03/17/2010 at 2:12am - intimacy - by today -
Today, I woke up to go pee and my cat followed me into the bathroom as usual. Then, in a not so usual fashion, she tried to jump from the sink to the top of the toilet, missed, and fell into the bowl while I was peeing. I'm scratched in a bad place, I have urine to clean up off the bathroom floor, and a traumatized cat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26352) - you deserved it (3520)
On 03/16/2010 at 4:51pm - animals - by Adam (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, my schlong decided to enter Mortal Kombat with my pants zipper. Guess which of the two won a flawless victory? FML
I agree, your life sucks (21733) - you deserved it (5437)
On 03/16/2010 at 2:55pm - health - by liu_kang - United States
Today, I woke up late for a very important presentation. I got dressed but forgot to wear a bra. During the presentation, I bent down to adjust a shoe strap. I rose to find that the thin straps of my blouse snapped and exposed my breasts. I gave a great presentation and a titty show. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10028) - you deserved it (22558)
On 03/15/2010 at 2:35am - work - by exposed (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, while making out with my boyfriend, he started playing with my nipples. Suddenly he stops kissing me, looks at my nipples and says, "Have they always been like this? They look like joysticks!". He then started singing the Super Mario Brother's theme song and playing the game with my nipples. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20722) - you deserved it (3897)
On 03/14/2010 at 10:09pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my 2 year old had a large booger blocking his nose so I pulled it out. I was on the phone and absentmindedly rolling it around between my thumb and pointer finger. I put it in my mouth and crushed it between my teeth for a solid minute before I remembered what it was. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5957) - you deserved it (44744)
On 02/24/2010 at 2:45am - kids - by janesays (woman) - United States
Today, I was bored at work, so I started doodling a big muscly arm on my notepad, including bulging veins. After I returned from lunch, my boss called me into his office. Apparently the mail clerk saw and was offended. I was asked to explain why I was drawing a person's 'private area'. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14480) - you deserved it (5360)
On 02/15/2010 at 1:41pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Montana)
Monday 20 May 2013
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