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bowlcut

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  • Number of visits : 1540
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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bowlcut's page activity

Visits<b>MNBOY16</b> - the 01/03/2013 at 10:58pm

bowlcut's FML badges

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

Consolation prize

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bowlcut's favorite FMLs

Today, I spent some time in a sun-bed to prepare myself for a very special reunion with my boyfriend, who I haven't seen in 6 months. I hope he likes crispy red butt-cheeks, and I wonder whether they will start peeling before or after he returns. FML

#10938636
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7863) - you deserved it (33024)

On 06/03/2010 at 3:55am - health - by Aiaiii (woman) - Germany (Niedersachsen)

Today, a four pound can of tuna fell on my head at work, and it burst all over my clothes. Since I'm the manager, I had to stay all day reeking of tuna. Now I'm home, my damn cat won't leave me alone. FML

#10855287
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28106) - you deserved it (4058)

On 05/30/2010 at 1:12am - animals - by Alpheas - United States (Texas)

Today, a few friends and I ran through sprinklers at our school until we were all soaked. Then we were told that they put fertilizer in the water. I'm soaked in manure. Now I know why it tasted weird. FML

#10777630
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11168) - you deserved it (38261)

On 05/26/2010 at 2:35pm - misc - by noraidk - United States (Texas)

Today, while getting ready for a friend's wedding, I was curling my eyelashes. My cat decided to jump onto the towel rod. As I went to catch her, I ripped all the eyelashes out of one eye. I called my boyfriend crying. When he saw me, he laughed and said, "You look really surprised in that eye." FML

#10693899
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29783) - you deserved it (6850)

On 05/22/2010 at 4:32pm - animals - by lashless (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I fell asleep in class. If that wasn't bad enough, I awoke gasping for air. I almost drowned in my arm fat. FML

#10678827
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11229) - you deserved it (38249)

On 05/21/2010 at 10:41pm - health - by guyshithappensto (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my girlfriend was giving me a hand job, which was great, until she started saying "milk the penis... miiiiilk the penis." FML

#10667407
310 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46711) - you deserved it (13770)

On 05/21/2010 at 11:46am - intimacy - by mperrotta913 (man) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, as my boyfriend was unbuttoning my pants to go down on me, he looked at me and said in his best robot voice, "caution, contents may be stinky." FML

#9913301
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41630) - you deserved it (20583)

On 04/16/2010 at 12:03am - intimacy - by shmelly - United States

Today, I waked in on my boyfriend and his best friend playing "Dick Wars" while wearing glow in the dark condoms. FML

#9416886
395 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49113) - you deserved it (9624)

On 03/27/2010 at 4:26am - intimacy - by pumpkinlover89 - United States (California)

Today, I caught my dad spanking my mom with a spatula. The same spatula I use to cook my eggs every morning. FML

#9351923
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34424) - you deserved it (4182)

On 03/24/2010 at 11:00am - intimacy - by suckstobeme - United States

Today, I put on some goggles on in the pool, only to go underwater and see an old man "discreetly" jerking it. FML

#9152447
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34831) - you deserved it (4036)

On 03/17/2010 at 2:12am - intimacy - by today -

Today, I woke up to go pee and my cat followed me into the bathroom as usual. Then, in a not so usual fashion, she tried to jump from the sink to the top of the toilet, missed, and fell into the bowl while I was peeing. I'm scratched in a bad place, I have urine to clean up off the bathroom floor, and a traumatized cat. FML

#9135717
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33500) - you deserved it (4778)

On 03/16/2010 at 4:51pm - animals - by Adam (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my schlong decided to enter Mortal Kombat with my pants zipper. Guess which of the two won a flawless victory? FML

#9133208
277 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27012) - you deserved it (6968)

On 03/16/2010 at 2:55pm - health - by liu_kang - United States

Today, I woke up late for a very important presentation. I got dressed but forgot to wear a bra. During the presentation, I bent down to adjust a shoe strap. I rose to find that the thin straps of my blouse snapped and exposed my breasts. I gave a great presentation and a titty show. FML

#9095970
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13516) - you deserved it (32199)

On 03/15/2010 at 2:35am - work - by exposed (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, while making out with my boyfriend, he started playing with my nipples. Suddenly he stops kissing me, looks at my nipples and says, "Have they always been like this? They look like joysticks!". He then started singing the Super Mario Brother's theme song and playing the game with my nipples. FML

#9086835
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26775) - you deserved it (5152)

On 03/14/2010 at 10:09pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my 2 year old had a large booger blocking his nose so I pulled it out. I was on the phone and absentmindedly rolling it around between my thumb and pointer finger. I put it in my mouth and crushed it between my teeth for a solid minute before I remembered what it was. FML

#8608911
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7973) - you deserved it (59790)

On 02/24/2010 at 2:45am - kids - by janesays (woman) - United States



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