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50 favourites
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
Consolation prize
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
Today, my four year old daughter pulled her pants down in the middle of Best Buy. Apparently, you can smell the farts better when they don't have to pass through clothing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23933) - you deserved it (3671)
On 10/04/2010 at 1:48am - kids - by Username - Sent from mobile version
Today, I was visiting my boyfriend, who lives 2 hours away. After about twenty minutes of glorious sex, he told me in no uncertain terms that he was about to come. He then "baaa"d like a sheep as he came. I couldn't come after that. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21333) - you deserved it (2856)
On 10/02/2010 at 4:31pm - intimacy - by seriously (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I found out my older brother put tanning lotion in the lotion I use to masturbate with. Now I have orange palms and an orange penis which won't go away for weeks. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13894) - you deserved it (30565)
On 10/01/2010 at 6:12pm - intimacy - by caughtorangehanded (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I found out that the reason my best friend is not allowed over anymore is because he hits on my mom and writes her love letters. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22658) - you deserved it (1618)
On 09/30/2010 at 1:11am - misc - by Bestfrienduncool - Sent from mobile version
Today, I let out the most horrific, loudest, and most vile smelling fart I have ever had in my life while in the middle of yoga class. Out of embarrassment, I tried to lessen the tension in the silent room by giggling, but no one saw the funny side. I was given looks of horror, and avoided by everyone else for the rest of the class. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18715) - you deserved it (9558)
On 09/24/2010 at 4:21pm - health - by yogapants (woman) - Switzerland (Zurich)
Today, I was in a public restroom with my 4 year old daughter. I took her in the stall with me, and as I was using the restroom she looked down and loudly asked, "Mommy! Why do you have a beard on your peepee?!!" Then I heard everybody in the stalls next to us laughing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35558) - you deserved it (9659)
On 08/22/2010 at 2:58am - kids - by Bailey - United States (Nebraska)
Today, I was showing a house to a couple who were interested in buying. At least they "were" interested until they opened the blinds, looked out of the bedroom window and saw the neighbor on the toilet taking a dump. He was naked. He was hairy. He smiled and waved. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27284) - you deserved it (2314)
On 07/25/2010 at 8:07pm - work - by anon (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my husband left for a two-week trip. Last night he gave the dog a treat of steak fat and gristle. My treat? I am on bed rest with my pregnancy and helpless to stop the rancid dog farts that are silent and smell like a burning septic tank exploded. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27024) - you deserved it (2940)
On 07/23/2010 at 9:18am - animals - by areyouserious (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I was riding the train and saw a cute guy licking his lips at me. Flattered, I gave him my number when the train stopped. He looked at me and said, "Don't flatter yourself. You have mustard on your face." FML
I agree, your life sucks (23259) - you deserved it (13505)
On 07/18/2010 at 5:47pm - misc - by anonmys - United States (California)
Today, my best friend told me I lost weight. I was happy because I've worked hard to shed off those pounds. I asked her what changes were evident, she told me that I now have a neck. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20604) - you deserved it (7136)
On 07/18/2010 at 12:02am - health - by lalala (woman) - Philippines (Manila)
Today, the airport security guard told me to lift my fat rolls so he could finish patting me down. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18163) - you deserved it (32088)
On 07/17/2010 at 2:16am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I was eating chips with my father. After I finished eating a chip I felt something between my teeth, It was pubic hair. I soon realized my dad was scratching his testicles while eating chips. FML
I agree, your life sucks (77981) - you deserved it (4310)
On 06/24/2010 at 8:14pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Arizona)
Today, my kitten decided that having diarrhea was not a good enough reason to stop running in circles around my living room. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27317) - you deserved it (2752)
On 06/11/2010 at 10:33am - health - by MegahnDN - United States
Today, I spent some time in a sun-bed to prepare myself for a very special reunion with my boyfriend, who I haven't seen in 6 months. I hope he likes crispy red butt-cheeks, and I wonder whether they will start peeling before or after he returns. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5639) - you deserved it (23231)
On 06/03/2010 at 3:55am - health - by Aiaiii (woman) - Germany (Niedersachsen)
Today, a four pound can of tuna fell on my head at work, and it burst all over my clothes. Since I'm the manager, I had to stay all day reeking of tuna. Now I'm home, my damn cat won't leave me alone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22356) - you deserved it (2921)
On 05/30/2010 at 1:12am - animals - by Alpheas - United States (Texas)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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