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bowlcut

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  • Number of visits : 931
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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bowlcut's page activity

Visits<b>MNBOY16</b> - the 01/03/2013 at 10:58pm

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50 favourites

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bowlcut's favorite FMLs

Today, I was at the mall shoplifting when a girl who looked my age pointed to a shirt I had in my bag. "Stole that, huh?" she asked smiling. She looked pretty cool, so I nodded and asked if she stole the jeans she was wearing, which were from the store. Turns out she didn't, she's the manager. FML

#843065
678 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32975) - you deserved it (473508)

On 04/06/2009 at 8:41pm - misc - by blovesg (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my boyfriend turned 21 and got drunk at a bar. Being sober, I went through the whole ordeal: calling a cab, carrying him up three flights of stairs, helping him by the toilet, and taking him to bed. Just when I'm about to sleep, he gets up, pushes his shorts down, and pees on me. Twice. FML

#796639
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (97560) - you deserved it (7806)

On 04/04/2009 at 4:50am - misc - by vetapplez (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was in my room with the door locked and my mom knocked on the door. I said "don't come in, i'm naked!" She said "That's okay!" so she unlocked the door and walked in. I was masturbating. FML

#694537
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (86187) - you deserved it (34387)

On 03/29/2009 at 11:49pm - intimacy - by Cynical (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my parents were out so I invited my girlfriend over. It was the afternoon, and things started to heat up. We were having sex, and I was about to finish. Then I looked through the window, to see a construction worker (who was fixing the house next to mine) giving me a thumbs up. He's her dad. FML

#527563
369 comments

I agree, your life sucks (171567) - you deserved it (30235)

On 03/22/2009 at 9:04am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Malta

Today, I had to sleep in the same room as my grandparents. They checked to see if I was asleep, so I pretended to be to avoid getting scolded for staying up. Turns out they were checking so that they could make love. I witnessed two 70-year-olds have sex in the bed next to me for 20 minutes. FML

#507959
292 comments

I agree, your life sucks (211334) - you deserved it (27304)

On 03/21/2009 at 11:38am - intimacy - by Mike (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was taking a shower with my new boyfriend for the first time. Last night was the first night we spent together. As I was washing my hair, I looked down at my feet and noticed yellow water. Some of the warm water I felt on my feet was not from the shower head. FML

#436547
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (97895) - you deserved it (18179)

On 03/18/2009 at 9:47am - intimacy - by Marcela (woman) - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, me and my boyfriend came back to my house after a night on the town. Thinking the house was empty, we had sex. Just as it was getting good my phone rings. It was a text from my mom, "Quiet down. Even your father can tell you're faking." FML

#415809
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (99571) - you deserved it (45299)

On 03/17/2009 at 4:40pm - intimacy - by MrAwsum (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was walking through Macy's with my girlfriend. I stopped to admire a mannequin's ass, joking with my girlfriend like I was touching it. Then I slapped it. It wasn't a mannequin. FML

#408707
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42454) - you deserved it (191126)

On 03/17/2009 at 6:16am - intimacy - by Noname (man) - United States (California)

Today, I spent 5 hours preparing dinner for my fianc''s grandparents, whom I've never met. At dinner, his grandmother says to him, "If you're going to pick someone to spend the rest of your life with, at least make sure she can cook." I'm the executive chef at a 4 star restaurant. FML

#334008
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (88973) - you deserved it (4908)

On 03/15/2009 at 12:56am - misc - by chefdujour (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was at work and a very obese woman came in to get a pedicure. When she took her shoes off I noticed an odd black substance on her feet. I started scrubbing it off and wondered out loud, "What IS this stuff??" As a chunk of it fell onto my lip, she replied, "Girl, that's just the fungus." FML

#259526
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (100780) - you deserved it (6282)

On 03/10/2009 at 7:55am - work - by SalonGirl (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I woke up at my grandparents house since my mom was out of town, still half asleep i went to brush my teeth. Mid brush my mouth started getting numb I looked again at the tooth paste I used..turns out it was my grandpa's anti-itch anal cream. FML

#245062
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63455) - you deserved it (19538)

On 03/08/2009 at 7:57pm - misc - by poop - United States (Ohio)

Today, the fitting room of the store I worked in smelled really bad. The customers started to complain and since I was on fitting room duty I went to go investigate. A middle aged woman pooped on the floor and then put the chair on top to cover it. FML

#181468
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (99754) - you deserved it (4332)

On 03/02/2009 at 8:38am - work - by fittingroompotty (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try anal sex. When he was done, I turned around to see him holding a strap-on with a smile on his face and said 'Now, do me'. FML

#142795
243 comments

I agree, your life sucks (251440) - you deserved it (59728)

On 02/26/2009 at 12:57pm - intimacy - by Picaresque (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I had just gotten over the flu and thought I was better. So me and my boyfriend decided to have sex. As I was about to orgasm, I puked all over his face. He was so disgusted that he ended up throwing up on me as well. FML

#9514
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63447) - you deserved it (24325)

On 02/05/2009 at 9:06am - intimacy - by Foxy (woman) - United States (Virginia)



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