Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

boredSOLDIER

Offline (4 hours ago) | Search for a member

boredSOLDIER

2Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not so sure
  • Number of visits : 2792
  • Number of comments : 446
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About boredSOLDIER : Bowed up like cut worm.

boredSOLDIER's page activity

Visits<b>lovelenaa_</b> - 5 hours ago<b>z0mBi3kiTTy</b> - the 01/16/2015 at 11:33am<b>Ashd09</b> - the 01/15/2015 at 10:10pm<b>TomatoGuts</b> - the 01/12/2015 at 3:17am<b>pureportedpear</b> - the 01/10/2015 at 6:40am<b>Nolimit2217</b> - the 01/04/2015 at 4:38pm<b>snipezone</b> - the 01/02/2015 at 1:56am<b>AHzulu</b> - the 12/30/2014 at 10:32pm<b>changster_</b> - the 12/30/2014 at 6:06pm<b>vlopez917</b> - the 12/29/2014 at 12:54am<b>captaininouille</b> - the 12/20/2014 at 1:55pm<b>robotiick</b> - the 12/20/2014 at 9:14am<b>bribecrazyy</b> - the 12/19/2014 at 8:33am<b>HarleyBlues</b> - the 12/17/2014 at 7:16pm<b>annarcheer</b> - the 12/13/2014 at 12:09am<b>slayer447</b> - the 12/08/2014 at 3:21am<b>ArianaLuvU</b> - the 11/28/2014 at 2:51am<b>born_to_die</b> - the 11/24/2014 at 4:37pm

Liked!<b>AHzulu</b> - the 12/16/2014 at 9:22pm<b>ArianaLuvU</b> - the 11/28/2014 at 8:51am

boredSOLDIER's FML badges

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

Picture this FML

You have left your mark on an illustrated FML’s presentation blog article.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

See all of boredSOLDIER's badges

boredSOLDIER's favorite FMLs

Today, all I wanted was stress-relief sex with the guy I sleep with. Instead, I was so exhausted from my day that he thought I wasn't into it and ended up just talking to me about what we're going to do after college. Trading a booty call for a meaningful and heartfelt discussion. FML

#1468
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9223) - you deserved it (34529)

On 01/17/2009 at 3:40pm - intimacy - by Noname - United States (New Jersey)

Today, the guy I've secretly been in love with for years told me how hot my brother is. FML

#1465
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25914) - you deserved it (2428)

On 01/17/2009 at 2:49pm - love - by Shantoya - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, my younger brother and my parents were in my dorm room. When I wasn't looking, my brother opened the top drawer of my dresser (where I had a tube of half-used lube) and asked out loud: "What's Astroglide?" FML

#1440
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28566) - you deserved it (8340)

On 01/17/2009 at 9:25am - intimacy - by Perpetually F-ed. - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was naked in bed. I was eating vanilla yogurt and it spilt. My dad walked in and then apologized that he had walked in on me while I was masturbating. FML

#1395
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19404) - you deserved it (9057)

On 01/16/2009 at 5:10pm - misc - by stellarshaun - United States (California)

Today, my mom asked me for advice on how to give a good blow job. I'm a guy. FML

#1389
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33887) - you deserved it (2446)

On 01/16/2009 at 3:46pm - intimacy - by Ohai - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I realized that instead of actually trying to get a job, save money, lose weight, and get thin so I could maybe attempt to date again; I'd rather spend my money on a Fleshlight. FML

#1321
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8811) - you deserved it (36856)

On 01/16/2009 at 3:34am - intimacy - by horny bastard - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I reached for my beer and took a huge swallow before I realized that I had picked up my friend's tobacco spit cup. "Vomit" is not a strong enough word to describe what happened next. FML

#1314
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23250) - you deserved it (5347)

On 01/15/2009 at 11:57pm - misc - by blegh - Switzerland (Ticino)

Today, I met a woman that I've been emailing and trading pics with for over a month. We had a face to face, she was surprisingly overweight, and the sun hit her face in a way that radiated all her facial hair. FML

#1122
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9770) - you deserved it (25076)

On 01/14/2009 at 11:03am - love - by agnosticstudy - United States (Alabama)

Today, I was having a cybersex chat with a "girl" on a website whilst at work. I noticed my colleague who sits next to me start cracking up with laughter. Turned out it was him I was chatting with and he was winding me up. Worst thing is it had given me a stiffy. FML

#1065
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10426) - you deserved it (47307)

On 01/14/2009 at 3:49am - intimacy - by diddlysquat - United Kingdom (Wakefield)

Today, my husband called me “my little zebra”. I gave birth a month ago, and I’ve kept a few stretch marks. FML

#1058
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24483) - you deserved it (2111)

On 01/14/2009 at 1:33am - love - by noname - France (Languedoc-Roussillon)

Today, I had to give a speech in front of my class and during my speech I had to say the words "But six"; however, because of my accent it sounded like "Butt sex". For the remainder of the day I was frequently asked about "Butt sex". FML

#1040
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22382) - you deserved it (2548)

On 01/13/2009 at 1:17pm - intimacy - by Explicit - United States (Massachusetts)



Idan Schneider's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Idan Schneider's illustrated FML
  • Oi! Stop "playing" that digeridoo and get out! There, now that I've tidied up my apartment, we can begin. How are you all doing? Have you got your leather jacket out of storage to go hang out down at…

Thursday 22 January 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: