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Offline (the 05/10/2016 at 12:53pm)



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 20 March 1992 (24 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2772
  • Number of comments : 185
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About booze_n_bitches : I'm supposed to be in a professional sort of profession, so other than my picture I shall melt into internet anonymity...

I'm English, 5'10, have 7 cat t-shirts, and wear glasses. That will be all the secrets I'm telling!

booze_n_bitches's page activity

Visits<b>BLXCKLIGHT</b> - the 10/18/2016 at 3:52pm<b>TheGreastest</b> - the 10/18/2016 at 11:05am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 10/09/2016 at 5:28pm<b>chris_mates</b> - the 10/07/2016 at 7:12pm<b>Toonice45</b> - the 10/02/2016 at 7:59pm<b>MaxTheNeko</b> - the 09/26/2016 at 5:18pm<b>badmandilon</b> - the 09/25/2016 at 7:37pm<b>mahughes</b> - the 09/11/2016 at 2:55am<b>anthonydpalm</b> - the 09/09/2016 at 8:01am<b>seenoevil818</b> - the 09/07/2016 at 9:46pm<b>tmamcmour99</b> - the 09/06/2016 at 11:31am<b>tin_cup</b> - the 09/05/2016 at 12:32pm<b>duduv2</b> - the 09/04/2016 at 12:06am<b>dontmindme7</b> - the 08/26/2016 at 4:41pm<b>Mons</b> - the 08/24/2016 at 4:01pm<b>itssnotfunny</b> - the 08/21/2016 at 8:52pm<b>TexanZaros</b> - the 08/17/2016 at 1:53pm<b>SpartyOnWayne</b> - the 08/11/2016 at 6:02pm

Fucked!<b>TheGreastest</b> - the 10/18/2016 at 5:06pm<b>itssnotfunny</b> - the 08/22/2016 at 2:52am<b>tiredofwaiting</b> - the 05/19/2016 at 2:10am<b>jbuckets_404</b> - the 05/16/2016 at 12:10pm<b>Electric_Bacon</b> - the 05/11/2016 at 10:58pm<b>frankmz</b> - the 05/01/2016 at 12:15am<b>GrinchFu1</b> - the 04/20/2016 at 12:47am<b>Rented_eyebrows</b> - the 04/19/2016 at 2:20pm<b>jackassthebadass</b> - the 04/19/2016 at 9:10am<b>chris_mates</b> - the 04/03/2016 at 3:27pm<b>Bonngoo</b> - the 04/02/2016 at 5:18am<b>the_aspect</b> - the 04/02/2016 at 3:47am<b>Shadowvoid</b> - the 04/01/2016 at 8:26pm<b>Magnoxidans</b> - the 04/01/2016 at 2:57pm<b>nunes36</b> - the 03/29/2016 at 8:37pm<b>hollyglambert</b> - the 03/29/2016 at 6:33pm<b>dakotadavisbruh</b> - the 03/29/2016 at 10:52am<b>marvelvsdc</b> - the 03/29/2016 at 3:51am

booze_n_bitches's FML badges

50 quality responses

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The Thumb returns

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booze_n_bitches's favorite FMLs

Today, I overheard a coworker talking about going to what sounded like a dentist's appointment. As she left later, I jokingly said "Remember to open wide!" Turned out her appointment was with her OB/GYN, not a dentist. FML

by Anonymous / 04/12/2016 at 11:44am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Work

Today, my roommate played a crazy April Fool's joke on me by not paying his rent this month. Good one. FML

by mackamuir / 04/01/2016 at 9:01am / Australia (Queensland) / Money

Today, I tried to train my cat to scratch the scratching post by giving her a treat every time she used it, but she took that as getting a treat every time she scratched something. Now, not only does she scratch all my furniture, but she also meows for a treat while doing it. FML

by angrypetowner / 03/28/2016 at 11:24pm / United States (Missouri) / Animals

Today, I went to the doctor's after over a week of feeling extremely tired and having headaches. His advice? "When I'm tired I drink coffee. You should drink coffee." Somehow, I don't think that was worth $60. FML

by Anonymous / 03/24/2016 at 11:14pm / New Zealand (Auckland) / Health

Today, I explained to my five year-old son that the dinosaurs were wiped out because of a meteorite that hit our planet. He replied, "They should've stood out of the way." FML

by sauve dino. / 03/24/2016 at 11:12pm / Kids

Today, I told my husband that when I get my birth control taken out later this year, I would like to take a break from it for a while. He just said, "Condoms are too expensive and I don't want to waste $2 every time we do it." FML

by Anonymous / 03/19/2016 at 10:05pm / United States (Georgia) / Intimacy

Today, I found $20 on the ground. I'm so broke, this is the first time in 3 months that I've had any disposable income. FML

by APoorGuy / 03/15/2016 at 8:08am / United States (Maryland) / Money

Today, I had to drive down to my parents' house. On they way down, I needed to fill up on gas but unfortunately I'd forgotten my wallet at home with all of my cash and credit cards. I then had to call triple A and explain to them in all seriousness how I ran out of gas at the gas station. FML

by Anonymous / 03/15/2016 at 1:55am / Money

Today, as a mascot for a pet store, I had to fake my own death to stop a little girl having a temper tantrum because she couldn't take me home. FML

by Wolf6661 / 03/14/2016 at 2:29pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I gave my boss a ride home from work. I had my phone on hands-free mode, so all calls would come through on speaker. I got a call from the new job I was applying at, with my boss listening to each word. FML

by SoGoodAtLife / 03/09/2016 at 2:30pm / Canada (Ontario) / Work

Today, I received a full tuition scholarship to my ideal university in the mail. This would be perfect, except I sent an email to the college 2 days earlier, informing them that I couldn't attend because of financial concerns. FML

by AllyK_shawol / 03/09/2016 at 1:55pm / United States (Georgia) / Money

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I really had to pee during one of my college lectures. I finally worked up the nerve to leave the room while he was lecturing, and ran frantically to the bathroom. Once in there, the urge intensified to the point I couldn't hold it. I peed my pants while standing in the bathroom. FML

by Peepants / 03/03/2016 at 6:03pm / United States (Alabama) / Miscellaneous

Today, I'm so sleep-deprived, I got a boner from just thinking about falling asleep. FML

by MrAries / 03/02/2016 at 6:45am / United States / Health

Today, I took a bus to the city. When I sat down, my hand accidentally slapped again the knee of the guy sitting next to me. I apologized. He responded, "It's just a knee," and started stroking mine. This lasted the entire ride. FML

by That_Teenager_ / 02/17/2016 at 9:01pm / United States (Illinois) / Transportation

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I worked such a long shift at Panera that when my boyfriend called later, I answered, "It's a fresh day at Panera Bread in [town], this is [name] speaking. How may I help you?" He thought it was hilarious. FML

by Anonymous / 02/17/2016 at 7:53pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Work