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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 3 July 1993 (23 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 746
  • Number of comments : 7
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About bootytoo : Hello. just here to laugh

bootytoo's page activity

Visits<b>DaviSal00</b> - the 04/27/2016 at 5:07pm<b>aust097</b> - the 02/21/2016 at 9:25pm<b>Shayn_25</b> - the 08/17/2015 at 4:10pm<b>SirVeldy</b> - the 07/02/2015 at 8:32pm<b>zingline89</b> - the 06/01/2014 at 9:09pm<b>Rizzen</b> - the 03/24/2014 at 8:53pm<b>jonathanmoore</b> - the 08/06/2013 at 7:06pm<b>Thursdayxo</b> - the 07/29/2013 at 9:30pm<b>THE_Black_Jesus</b> - the 07/28/2013 at 6:49pm<b>Claytonioo</b> - the 07/19/2013 at 5:11am<b>ireply_wlyrics</b> - the 06/19/2013 at 5:03pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 05/22/2013 at 11:50am<b>NOLa_Dan</b> - the 05/22/2013 at 10:44am<b>RedPillSucks</b> - the 05/22/2013 at 10:03am<b>MiracleeLynn</b> - the 05/22/2013 at 5:04am<b>eMurpH</b> - the 05/16/2013 at 12:42pm<b>Pleonasm</b> - the 03/11/2013 at 5:01am

bootytoo's FML badges

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!


You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of bootytoo's badges

bootytoo's favorite FMLs

Today, I was on the bus home from work when I felt something strange in my hair. I turned to look, and saw the old woman next to me sucking on the end of my hair. When she noticed me staring, she didn't stop but instead said, "So pretty. Can I have?" FML

by Koizumiii / 11/15/2015 at 1:47pm / United States (Virginia) / Transportation

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, when I went out to get some groceries with my mother, a small girl came up to me and said I was an "ugly egg" because I'm a bald girl. I had to shave my head in order to have brain surgery to relieve me of the symptoms of my neurological disorder. FML

by an egg / 10/30/2015 at 9:43am / United States (Michigan) / Health

Today, my stomach growled so loud in class that a boy sitting next to me thought his phone had vibrated. FML

by qourt / 10/29/2015 at 11:21pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I noticed a guy checking out my ass in the mirror behind the bar where I work. He was cute, so I thought I'd put on a little show. I bent over to reach for something near the floor, which caused me to let rip a series of uncontrollable farts, like popping bubble wrap. He quickly left. FML

by bubblewrap / 10/20/2015 at 6:13am / United Kingdom (Swindon) / Love

Today, my little cousin was helping me wash my car. After scrubbing all the dirt, I gave him the hose and said, "Okay, now rinse off this disgusting thing." He turned the hose on me. FML

by ptarr12345 / 05/14/2015 at 12:26am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Kids

Today, my dad drove me to the airport. As I got out of the car, he said, "You better pop that zit on your face, security might think it's a bomb". FML

by brittrus / 05/08/2015 at 9:44am / Canada (Ontario) / Transportation

Today, I realized that my new haircut makes me look like a movie star. Not Scarlett Johansson, no. I look like Lord Farquaad. FML

by henrylikestreats / 04/30/2015 at 2:04pm / United States (Arizona) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, while studying for an exam, the neighbor's chihuahua started barking outside. After a few seconds, my mom yelled out for me to stop laughing. She honestly thought the barking was my laughter. FML

by woof? / 04/19/2015 at 1:09pm / United States (California) / Animals

Today, I went on a date with a girl I like. Afterwards, I drove her home, and we just sat there awkwardly. I thought she wanted to kiss me but was nervous, so I jokingly said "What're you waiting for? Christmas?" I guess she took that as a "Get the hell out", because she broke into tears and left. FML

by fuck / 04/18/2015 at 10:38am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love

Today, I was cuddling in bed with my boyfriend when he started squeezing me as if I were a ketchup bottle. He said he wanted my period to end quicker, and he honestly thought that would work. FML

by Keladrylady / 04/17/2015 at 8:47pm / New Zealand (Auckland) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I learned that my girlfriend is not a screamer nor a moaner, she's a biter. My arm is getting stitches right now. FML

by anon / 04/13/2015 at 8:51pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, my dogs freaked out and started getting violent because they thought the sound of my vibrator was the other's growling. FML

by foops / 02/02/2014 at 4:50pm / United Kingdom / Animals

Today, I was playing with my dog, when she started sniffing my face. Jokingly, I got up and started to sniff her face back and asked "Yeah, how do you like that?" She replied by biting into my face. FML

by Anonymous / 12/15/2013 at 1:47am / United States (California) / Animals

Today, I smelled chicken nuggets and asked my boyfriend if he was making some. He wasn't. It was my armpits. FML

by Anonymous / 09/30/2013 at 3:02pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to a really important job interview. During it, I accidentally let out a burp, came down with nervous hiccups, and when I tried to quietly ease out some painful gas that was building up, it came out as a massive, rancid fart. I'll definitely be unemployed for a while yet. FML

by ;_;" / 09/27/2013 at 5:33pm / Lebanon (Beyrouth) / Work