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Mobility
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Today, I walked in on my mom, braiding my dad's pubic hair. I don't know what scarred me more; my mom braiding his pubic hair or the fact that his pubic hair is long enough to be braided. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40178) - you deserved it (2608)
On 12/10/2011 at 8:03pm - intimacy - by Joe (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I saw my dad for the first time in ten years. He was stealing my car. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35643) - you deserved it (1696)
On 12/02/2011 at 1:15am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)
Today, my boyfriend and I were visiting a historical war bunker when I accidentally let rip a small fart. My boyfriend responded with a horribly loud, horrendous fart, and loudly announced, "This is war." There were people, lots of people. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22756) - you deserved it (6679)
Today, while in the car with my mom, she gave me a lecture about how bad of a driver I am. During that process she ran a red light and hit a car. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21105) - you deserved it (1558)
On 10/31/2011 at 12:12am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, my eleven year old sister came in, and bitched to me and my boyfriend about how she was going to tell my mom about the used condom she found. My boyfriend punched her in the face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43143) - you deserved it (11802)
On 10/19/2011 at 10:37am - intimacy - by lolilovemyboyfriend (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I had to escort some dumbass teenager from Home Depot after I found him masturbating in one of the model washrooms. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30766) - you deserved it (2104)
On 10/14/2011 at 12:30pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Reserved
Today, I got mad at my 4 year old son for cussing me out. Afterwards, I went upstairs to get ready for the day. When I came back downstairs I found him pooping on my brand new leather couch. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21510) - you deserved it (7812)
On 10/01/2011 at 7:10pm - kids - by kewtness_17 - United States (Texas)
Today, I was doing my jazz aerobics workout and accidentally kicked my 3 year old daughter in the face. Everyone we know, including my wife, thinks I beat her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22385) - you deserved it (6489)
On 08/29/2011 at 5:19pm - health - by Stan - United States (California)
Today, I couldn't figure out what was worse: accidentally dropping my car keys into the bottom of a filthy park lake, or getting a fishhook through my toenail in an attempt to retrieve them. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28904) - you deserved it (3360)
On 06/27/2011 at 10:10pm - misc - by Courtney (woman) - United States (Missouri)
Today, I had to go to the emergency room with vision problems. The nurse was helping my mom fill out the paperwork. When asked for her employer, my mom started trying to sell the nurse Aflac, and got into a serious 10 minute conversation about it, all while I'm going blind in my left eye. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26317) - you deserved it (2442)
On 05/23/2011 at 3:33pm - health - by Catherine - United States (Georgia)
Today, while tanning on a family cruise, I woke up to a crowd of people staring at me in disgust. Apparently, I'd fallen asleep, developed a boner, and started french-kissing the air. I had to sit through both the surveillance tapes and a grand bollocking from security in the aftermath. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31542) - you deserved it (7622)
On 05/13/2011 at 7:07pm - intimacy - by f*cks_sake - United States (Ohio)
Today, while skiing on Mammoth Mountain, a man dressed in an Easter Bunny costume snowboarded into me and sent me flying. Not only did he hurt my wrist, he also threw an Easter egg at me, yelled "Happy Easter", and snowboarded away. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18628) - you deserved it (2900)
On 04/24/2011 at 7:49pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, my boyfriend renamed all the contacts in my phone to see if I'd notice. Thanks to him, I've been sending dirty texts to my boss. The worst part is my boss was responding back. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39273) - you deserved it (4210)
On 02/17/2011 at 1:37pm - intimacy - by fmylife117 - United States
Today, I went to see "Black Swan" with my parents, not realizing that it was basically a porno. So I sat next to my dad while Mila Kunis and Natalie Portman had passionate lesbian sex on a twenty foot screen. And I'm pretty sure I heard the old guy behind us jacking off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27707) - you deserved it (5005)
On 01/23/2011 at 7:07pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (New York)
Today, on the train, I was bitten by a homeless man. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33640) - you deserved it (3512)
On 12/29/2010 at 2:03am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Monday 20 May 2013
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