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0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2274
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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bookreader's page activity

Visits<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 10:11pm

bookreader's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

bookreader's favorite FMLs

Today, around 2:00 a.m. I had just sat down on my couch when I noticed one of my cats poking at what appeared to be a toy. I attempted to pick it up to play with the cat when it started to move like a mouse. I squealed like a girl and woke up my wife upstairs. I'm a 26-year-old man. FML

by Anonymous / 01/12/2010 at 2:45am / United States (Ohio) / Animals

Today, I woke up at 3am because my wife was snoring loudly enough to wake me up. I went off to the guest room to try to get back to sleep. Eventually I fell back asleep. Then I had a dream that my wife was snoring loudly enough to wake me up. It woke me up. FML

by Anonymous / 01/11/2010 at 8:40pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend took me on a surprise date, destination unknown. I dressed up, he had a tux on. We went to McDonalds. FML

by krisx3ftw / 01/11/2010 at 8:25am / United States (Virginia) / Love

Today, my boyfriend took me on a surprise date, destination unknown. I dressed up, he had a tux on. We went to McDonalds. FML

by krisx3ftw / 01/11/2010 at 8:25am / United States (Virginia) / Love

Today, my girlfriend asked for me to come to her. Then move my head in close to her and close my eyes. Expecting a sweet and romantic kiss I positioned my lips for my surprise. My surprise wasn't a kiss, instead it was a nice crunchy booger she placed in my mouth with her finger. FML

by TattedAsian / 01/11/2010 at 2:28am / United States (Missouri) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my girlfriend asked for me to come to her. Then move my head in close to her and close my eyes. Expecting a sweet and romantic kiss I positioned my lips for my surprise. My surprise wasn't a kiss, instead it was a nice crunchy booger she placed in my mouth with her finger. FML

by TattedAsian / 01/11/2010 at 2:28am / United States (Missouri) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I talked myself out of buying $1 candle at the Dollar Tree. That's how broke I am. FML

by Pauper / 01/11/2010 at 2:20am / United States (Connecticut) / Money

Today, some drunk dude broke into my house while my parents were out. Scared, I asked him what he wanted, his response was "cookies." FML

Today, I realised that I have fallen for the most amazing girl. She's good looking, has a great personality, she's funny and is a hit with all my friends but she doesn't seem to realise she has a body odor problem. FML

by DDubs / 01/07/2010 at 10:30pm / United Kingdom / Love

Today, I witnessed my drunk grandmother attempting the Single Ladies dance, complete with hip gyrations and ass slapping. FML

by ohdear / 01/03/2010 at 1:06pm / United Kingdom (Falkirk) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was at work and I had to take a dump. Since I was the only person in the bathroom, I started singing, "I'm taking a poopy-poop poop poop poop." I was not the only person in the bathroom. FML

by Anonymous / 12/31/2009 at 3:06am / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was driving in the car with my boyfriend and he couldn't keep his hands off me. Nothing to complain about when your boyfriend likes to touch you, right? Except when he keeps smacking your jiggly thighs to watch the ripples and 'tenderize the pork chops'. FML

by porkythighs / 12/27/2009 at 9:19am / Singapore / Love

Today, I asked my girlfriend what she thought of us getting married some day. She said she wasn't sure about me yet and that we may want to go in different directions soon. We've been dating for three years and I had the ring in my pocket at the moment. FML

by chao / 12/21/2009 at 9:47pm / United States (New Hampshire) / Love

Today, I tried to rid my son of his pacifier. He still uses it to sleep. My son is 20 years old. FML

by Anonymous / 12/16/2009 at 8:57pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Kids

Today, I was making out with my girlfriend in my room. About two minutes into it, my cat walks in and jumps on the bed with us. Without hesitation, my girlfriend tells me to stop, rolls over, and starts petting my cat. FML

by Anonymous / 12/16/2009 at 3:53pm / United Kingdom (London) / Love