Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

booklover428

Search for a member

booklover428
  • Town/Country : Hogwarts, Narnia
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 16 February 1993 (21 years)
  • Number of visits : 1540
  • Number of comments : 11
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

booklover428's last visitors

Dribletskrupa1017Chorizo606hope1103The_9th_Doctorfml0505thatcowyoutipped

booklover428's FML badges

A new Thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

See all of booklover428's badges

booklover428's favorite FMLs

Today, I decided to get over my lifelong fear of Michael Jackson. I went to have my photo taken with a statue of him. Little did I know, for Halloween week they replace the statues with real people. It jumped out at me; I'm never getting over this fear. FML

#20939955
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40020) - you deserved it (6017)

On 10/31/2013 at 4:41am - misc - by Shady_Soldier - United Kingdom

Today, my mom got drunk at our family reunion and told everyone how worried she is that my "excessive masturbation" would damage the nerves in both my dick and arm. FML

#20939123
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42862) - you deserved it (7340)

On 10/30/2013 at 2:28pm - intimacy - by goodgrief (man) - United States (California)

Today, a radio show asked the question, "Where does the dentist live in Finding Nemo?" I called in and got through. When he asked me the question, instead of the actual answer I quickly gave out my own address over live radio. FML

#20939023
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34571) - you deserved it (16085)

On 10/30/2013 at 11:58am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I put a picture of my cat on Facebook. A stranger sent me a message saying how "attractive" she was and that her eyes are "very seductive". So, basically, someone is trying to hit on my cat. FML

#20938804
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37209) - you deserved it (3883)

On 10/30/2013 at 3:03am - animals - by meow (woman) - United States

Today, I found out my 13-year-old daughter thinks the showerhead got her pregnant. FML

Today, I was wearing a letterman jacket that had my school name and "Okinawa Japan" on the back. A high school kid walks up to me and says, "I can't forgive you people for bombing Pearl Harbor." I'm black. FML

#20938215
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39524) - you deserved it (3249)

On 10/29/2013 at 6:31pm - misc - by The_FN_Gunny - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I rushed to a dentist's appointment. Once in the chair, I apologized for not having had the time to brush my teeth beforehand. He responded with, "Ah that's alright, I just took a piss and forgot to wash my hands." FML

#20937985
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43186) - you deserved it (11315)

On 10/29/2013 at 2:57pm - health - by Anonymous - Zimbabwe

Today, my husband and I were watching Jurassic Park. At the end of the movie, he commented on how amazed he was that they could "train those dinosaurs" to do exactly what they wanted them to do. FML

#20937890
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44294) - you deserved it (4580)

On 10/29/2013 at 1:01pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my girlfriend got a detention for public display of affection. We go to different schools. FML

#20937522
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50938) - you deserved it (3518)

On 10/29/2013 at 12:24am - love - by cmart_9 (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I overcame my stage fright and got up in front of a café audience with my acoustic guitar to sing a few of my songs. Some asshat kept yelling stuff like "NEEDS MORE COWBELL!" and "FREEBIRD!", which made me lose my nerve and flee. FML

#20937310
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35515) - you deserved it (3598)

On 10/28/2013 at 9:57pm - misc - by NickDrakeFan (man) - United States

Today, my professor tried to scare the hiccups out of me. Some pee came out instead. FML

#20937069
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36135) - you deserved it (3611)

On 10/28/2013 at 6:39pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was leaving the grocery store when an old woman started yelling at me for not holding the door open for her. She accused me of being "everything wrong with the younger generation". It was an automatic door. FML

#20937007
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42805) - you deserved it (2819)

On 10/28/2013 at 5:53pm - misc - by Greg (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, a hornet thought it would be fun to fly into a candle that I had lit. As the hornet burned to death, it flung its charred body at my face, which is more painful than it sounds. FML

#20936891
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38381) - you deserved it (2992)

On 10/28/2013 at 4:18pm - misc - by Asshole hornet - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my girlfriend asked me if I could love anything more than her, and if so, what. I guess "bacon" was the wrong answer. FML

#20936378
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26589) - you deserved it (39367)

On 10/28/2013 at 12:58am - love - by BaconLover - Japan

Today, I'm severely sunburned and can barely walk properly. My boyfriend keeps telling his friends that it's because of "how hard he gave it to me last night". FML

#20936372
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46960) - you deserved it (7569)

On 10/28/2013 at 12:51am - intimacy - by snowwhite (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: