Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

booklover428

Search for a member

booklover428
  • Town/Country : Hogwarts, Narnia
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 16 February 1993 (21 years)
  • Number of visits : 1572
  • Number of comments : 11
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

booklover428's last visitors

Dribletskrupa1017Chorizo606hope1103The_9th_Doctorfml0505thatcowyoutipped

booklover428's FML badges

A new Thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

See all of booklover428's badges

booklover428's favorite FMLs

Today, I woke up from a drunken one-night-stand. The person I slept with turned out to be heavily pregnant. She tried to convince me that I am the father and that I passed out for 7 months. FML

Today, I was cussed out by a customer who was unhappy, and he asked to speak with my manager. When I told him I owned the store, he said that that was the problem. Apparently women are "too flaky" to run a bakery properly. FML

#20964215
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39773) - you deserved it (2556)

On 11/20/2013 at 2:59am - work - by bakingwomannnnnnnn (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I learned that no matter how much of a nerd a girl claims to be, she is not ready for you to speak Klingon during sex. FML

#20963971
247 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23576) - you deserved it (60329)

On 11/19/2013 at 10:42pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my girlfriend tried explaining a duck flying into our living room and taking a shit everywhere as "paranormal activity". FML

#20963751
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35356) - you deserved it (3147)

On 11/19/2013 at 8:09pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me but wanted to make sure that we were still friends, so he could still use my Netflix. FML

#20963690
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41107) - you deserved it (2871)

On 11/19/2013 at 7:19pm - love - by unwantedforlife (woman) - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I were going to have sex. To set the mood, she suggested we watch a porno she once starred in. FML

#20963410
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52739) - you deserved it (7989)

On 11/19/2013 at 2:46pm - intimacy - by oops999 (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I saw a psychiatrist for the first time. After telling her everything I'm going through, she looked at me and said "You know... every five years or so I get a case completely beyond my ability to help." I guess it's been five years. FML

#20963305
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43960) - you deserved it (2843)

On 11/19/2013 at 12:31pm - health - by elle (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my boyfriend went down on me. I don't know why, but my mind wandered. He now thinks that he has the skills of a porn star, while I'm pretty sure that finally solving a mathematical problem I've been working on for a week caused me to orgasm. FML

#20963297
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42887) - you deserved it (6391)

On 11/19/2013 at 12:13pm - intimacy - by you+me-clothes=53>< (woman) - Austria (Wien)

Today, my cat has figured out that while I'm good at sleeping through her nagging in the early morning hours, I will unfailingly wake up for my baby. FML

Today, I snuck into my boyfriend's house at 9am to surprise him on our 1 year anniversary. In the process, I gatecrashed another celebration he was having with his second girlfriend. FML

#20962153
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55708) - you deserved it (3914)

On 11/18/2013 at 1:53pm - love - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Cheshire)

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try flavored condoms. I guess I enjoyed them a little too much; I almost choked half to death on a strawberry cockcicle. FML

#20961988
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38263) - you deserved it (14850)

On 11/18/2013 at 10:26am - intimacy - by flavored (woman) - United States

Today, my mother gave me a bottle of stool softeners as a gift at my baby shower. FML

#20961774
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30516) - you deserved it (3115)

On 11/18/2013 at 1:38am - misc - by kb (woman) - United States

Today, I was at a diner with friends when we decided to put our phones in the middle of the table on the basis that whoever looks at theirs first has to pay. It was going well, until someone rushed up behind me, slammed my face into the table and ran out with our 4 phones. FML

#20961108
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37808) - you deserved it (4741)

On 11/17/2013 at 4:59pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I introduced my girlfriend to my parents, despite my long-standing protests. Over the next hour, they asked her if she'd ever considered becoming a swinger, why not, if she'd ever consider it in future, and to keep them in mind if she does. FML

#20959018
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34981) - you deserved it (2204)

On 11/15/2013 at 7:10pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my mum staggered home, piss drunk. When I tried to walk her to her room, she shoved me away and cursed at me for being a "goody two-shoes". She then slurred "I fucked your mum", and informed me that my mum is a skank. That's good to know, mum. FML

#20958646
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38335) - you deserved it (2363)

On 11/15/2013 at 12:49pm - misc - by mummer11 (woman) - Ireland



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: