Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

booklover428

Online | Search for a member

booklover428

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 16 February 1993 (21 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2493
  • Number of comments : 13
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

booklover428's page activity

Visits<b>Driblets</b> - the 03/28/2014 at 3:25am<b>krupa1017</b> - the 02/24/2014 at 11:15pm<b>Chorizo606</b> - the 12/17/2013 at 11:24pm<b>hope1103</b> - the 12/13/2013 at 12:22am<b>The_9th_Doctor</b> - the 09/10/2013 at 4:54pm<b>fml0505</b> - the 09/04/2013 at 2:53am<b>thatcowyoutipped</b> - the 02/06/2013 at 2:51pm<b>whimsical4</b> - the 02/06/2013 at 2:00pm

booklover428's FML badges

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

A new Thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of booklover428's badges

booklover428's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend took our prank war way too far and had a package sent to me at home. Confused, I opened it. It contained a dildo and a bottle of lube. I didn't know my dad was watching over my shoulder until I heard him choke on his coffee and felt it splash over my neck. FML

#21241836
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42298) - you deserved it (7391)

On 08/20/2014 at 5:03pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my new doctor gave me a breast exam and said everything was healthy, before adding "Well, I think so, anyway. I don't actually work here." As I freaked out, he laughed out loud, said he was just kidding, and that he should prescribe me a chill pill. FML

#21241090
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40821) - you deserved it (5660)

On 08/19/2014 at 4:46pm - health - by humdrummitydrum (woman) - United States

Today, I was hammered, and on my way home I walked into a policeman. My logic was: if I'm on the phone, he can't talk to me, so I pulled my phone out and started speaking. The officer then asked me why I was speaking to my wallet. FML

#21240900
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24073) - you deserved it (44056)

On 08/19/2014 at 9:37am - misc - by drunk under 18 teenager (man) - Morocco (Marrakech-Tensift-Al Haouz)

Today, I went to a baseball game with my girlfriend's dad. I got a boner when they sang the anthem, because that's what I sing in my head when having sex with his daughter so I last longer. FML

#21240482
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41721) - you deserved it (15538)

On 08/18/2014 at 12:39pm - intimacy - by embarrassed - United States (New York)

Today, I learned that when someone is choking you don't do the "hymen maneuver", you do the "heimlich maneuver". I was corrected by my girlfriend's parents. FML

#21240474
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30950) - you deserved it (13644)

On 08/18/2014 at 12:29pm - misc - by FANZZY - United States (New York)

Today, to spice things up, my boyfriend suggested we wear disguises. Amused by the idea, I accepted. That's how I ended up having sex with Gandalf. FML

#21240323
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39105) - you deserved it (8115) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 08/18/2014 at 12:48am - intimacy - by Degueusement (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, my boyfriend told me he loved me. I asked why, and he said "Because sometimes you look good, and you buy me stuff." FML

#21238533
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38030) - you deserved it (6051)

On 08/15/2014 at 10:16pm - love - by Anonymous - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I went to a café and got some soup. When I was done, a nice waiter came over and offered to take my mostly empty soup bowl. I quickly at the last of it, looked up smiling and said "thanks". The soup dribbled out of my mouth and onto his hand. FML

#21237898
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34357) - you deserved it (9562)

On 08/15/2014 at 1:06am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I excitedly told my family that, after years of studying and dedication, I've been awarded a full scholarship to Germany. My mom's reaction was to start sobbing about me becoming a "heathen" and my dad and brother started telling Nazi jokes. FML

#21237389
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39517) - you deserved it (3252)

On 08/14/2014 at 11:28am - misc - by UnSupported (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, my professor told everyone that he thinks all med students should be required to get a catheter and an enema at least once in their lives so they can relate to their patients, saying, "Gentlemen, it might change your lives." FML

#21236595
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33265) - you deserved it (5728)

On 08/13/2014 at 11:19am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, the man I have been in love with for years came to me with a beautiful ring and a heartfelt proposal. Too bad it ended with an eager, "So do you think he'll say yes?" FML

Today, I saw a bulge in my friend's pocket. I poked it and asked, "What'cha got there?" He said, "Uh, that's my dick, Mike." FML

#21235845
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37910) - you deserved it (23273)

On 08/12/2014 at 1:05pm - intimacy - by not a dick-man (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I attended a family gathering. My cousin's new baby was being passed around. By way of politely declining to hold it, I meant to say that I looked forward to getting to know it better once it could talk. What I blurted out instead was, "I can't wait until it resembles a human being." FML

Today, as I awoke, the sun was shining, the birds were tweeting, and police sirens were wailing at a drug bust next door. FML

#21234535
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38234) - you deserved it (3127)

On 08/11/2014 at 1:11am - misc - by Ithoughtheywerenormalpeople (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I saw a customer at the restaurant I work at lovingly petting his cheeseburger and whispering sweet promises to it. FML

#21234388
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34205) - you deserved it (3041)

On 08/10/2014 at 10:22pm - work - by weirded out (man) - United States (California)



FML's blog

  • FML's Labor Day BBQ
  • The first Monday of September is a holiday in some countries, and is supposed to celebrate Labor Day. So, this means you do nothing to celebrate doing something. I'm confused.  For those of us who…

Monday 1 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: