About bookgirl_7 : I like to read. A lot.
bookgirl_7's FML badges
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.
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bookgirl_7's favorite FMLs
Today, my boyfriend tried to claim it was my fault that he cheated on me, all because I "deprived" him of sex for two weeks last month when I went on a family vacation. If his mental gymnastics were physical, I swear he'd be able to suck his own cock. FML
by Anonymous / 08/05/2015 at 1:35pm / United States (New York) / Love
by Marika / 07/20/2015 at 1:48pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, I felt some serious gas building up while at the supermarket. I tried to quietly fart it out, only to end up sharting myself. I had to frantically waddle out of the store as discreetly as possible as several people in the vicinity freaked out and tried to locate the source of the smell. FML
by Anonymous / 07/17/2015 at 1:14pm / United States (Florida) / Health
Today, my 4-year-old daughter slipped on ceramic tile and I had to take her to the ER for 5 stitches to her chin. When we got home, I promptly split her chin open again as I over enthusiastically re-enacted how she fell to my husband and accidentally clocked her square in the chin. FML
by clutzymama / 07/10/2015 at 12:27am / Canada (Ontario) / Kids
Today, another idiot was admitted to my hospital with a foreign object up his ass. Yet again, the excuse went along the lines of "I tripped and fell on it." Please, someone tell me how you can accidentally trip anus-first onto the end of a cucumber, which just so happens to have a condom on it. FML
by Idiot says "HIPAA violation" / 06/26/2015 at 9:21pm / United States (Virginia) / Work
by Partners / 06/22/2015 at 3:55pm / United States (Georgia) / Love
by Anonymous / 06/13/2015 at 10:26am / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, while teaching my class, I hooked my laptop up to the projector and put on a documentary. I left it playing and went to the toilet. When I came back the whole class was talking to my mother. She must've Skyped me while I was gone and someone answered the call. FML
by HiddlePuff / 05/14/2015 at 8:42am / Australia / Work
Today, my fiancée called off our wedding at the last moment, because her neurotic sister thinks she's "too fat" to be the maid of honor, and says she needs several months to lose weight. So that's a few thousand dollars wasted. My fiancée says I'm "overreacting" and that I "just don't get it". FML
by Anonymous / 05/09/2015 at 3:17pm / United States (Vermont) / Love
Today, my mother was trying to have yet another "helpful" conversation about how to fix my anxiety. My sister's insightful comment? "I think your problem is that you need to get laid." My mom agreed with her. FML
by sexandanxiety / 04/29/2015 at 8:46pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
Today, my religious girlfriend convinced me to let her take my virginity. A few hours later, she broke up with me, crying and saying I was going to hell for having sex before marriage. But apparently she isn't, and she can't be with someone who "tempts" her. FML
by Anonymous / 04/22/2015 at 10:24am / United States (Florida) / Intimacy
Today, I got into an argument with my racist brother after he opened his god damn stupid mouth in front of my girlfriend. He actually tried to convince me that he's not a racist, because one of his favorite types of porn is black girls getting fucked by white guys. FML
by assault and imnotracistbuttery / 04/18/2015 at 12:57am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
by ThatSlappinBass / 04/17/2015 at 10:00pm / United States (Rhode Island) / Miscellaneous
by anon / 04/13/2015 at 8:51pm / United States / Intimacy
Today, after pulling an all-nighter studying for an exam, I caught the bus to college. On the way there, the bus decided to make sweet love to a taxi, creating a pile-up and a traffic jam. I didn't make it to the exam in time. FML
by rUs7up1d / 04/08/2015 at 10:43am / Guatemala (Guatemala) / Transportation
- Today, it’s been a week since I arrived in Cuba. Gustav came to visit us. Now it’s Hannah’s turn.… Today, I’m in Thailand and I met a monk. The conversation was so deep and interesting that, without… Today, I’m in Sweden. This morning, I went out to get the mail in my pajamas. Well, it doesn’t only…