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boojie97's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 01/04/2011 at 3:09pm / Reserved / Love
Today, I felt like adding my real middle name to my facebook name to make it look more professional. It was denied because they didn't feel it was a legitimate request. Minutes later, someone with the name of "Galactic Toast" friend requested me. FML
by Anonymous / 12/01/2010 at 2:35pm / United States / Geek
Today, someone in my class wrote "Erase me if you can!" at the very top of the board, as I am always tormented about how short I am compared to everyone else. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't reach it. I'm the teacher. FML
by Petitprof / 11/12/2010 at 1:23pm / France (Provence-Alpes-Cote d'Azur) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 11/05/2010 at 5:09pm / United Kingdom (Birmingham) / Animals
Today, I nervously introduced my mother to my new boyfriend. I had to sit and watch her flirt with him for an hour. When I took her in the other room and confronted her about it, she said, "Don't you dare ruin this for me!" FML
by Anonymous / 09/28/2010 at 10:09pm / United States (Maine) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was in the bathroom stall when a man made eye-contact with me through the cracks. I quickly looked away, and about a minute later I looked back to see if he was gone. He was still there and was actually trying to keep making eye-contact with me while I pooped. FML
by Anonymous / 09/25/2010 at 11:00pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was watching TV with my grandpa, and he stopped flipping channels on a movie with a hot naked chick getting oiled down. Suddenly the remote landed on my stomach as my mom and grandma walked in. They yelled at me for being a pervert for an hour, while my grandpa sat and chuckled. FML
by Andrew / 09/24/2010 at 6:22am / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous
by tenthousandspoon / 09/12/2010 at 8:08pm / New Zealand (Auckland) / Kids
Today, I was in a meeting with my boss and superiors as well as our clients. About two hours in I started playing with the lid of the pen I was using, next thing I saw was the lid flicking up and hitting my boss square in the middle of the head. FML
by theshad / 09/10/2010 at 2:28am / Reserved / Work
Today, I came home from my 2 week trip to Florida. At the airport, the door said "Enter Only", while a sign above it said "Do not enter." Long story short, I got arrested for "disobeying signs." Nothing says "Welcome home" like being arrested. FML
by Anonymous / 12/22/2009 at 5:08am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
Today, a Milkbone commercial came on TV. At the end of it, they whistle and throw a Milkbone across the screen, prompting my 100lb German Shepherd to leap off the couch and run head on into my new plasma screen TV. FML
by doglover / 11/03/2009 at 1:11pm / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous
Today, I had a very intense sexual dream that made me come and left me panting when I woke up. It was the best orgasm I'd ever had. The trouble was, it wasn't about a hot girl, or anything sexy. It was about bacon. FML
by wtfdreams / 05/17/2009 at 8:33am / United States (California) / Intimacy
by bdutton / 04/24/2009 at 4:10pm / United States (Connecticut) / Transportation
Today, due to the cold, windy weather, I decided to wear my brand-new cute (and expensive) jacket that has a faux-fur hood. As I walked down the street, numerous PETA members attacked me with red liquid. I'm a Vegan and an animal-rights activist. FML
by Anonymous / 04/21/2009 at 6:04pm / United States (Michigan) / Animals
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, I was eating my lunch. When I opened my mouth to eat a spoonful of rice, a bee flew right…