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Today, I beat my extremely competitive friend in a game of pool. He responded by breaking a pool stick over my head. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35043) - you deserved it (4796)
On 05/20/2013 at 2:32am - misc - by soreloser (man) - United States (Montana)
Today, my wife posted on Facebook, "FUCK THA POLICE!" She got 40 likes. I'm a police officer. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33573) - you deserved it (7587)
On 01/16/2012 at 10:19pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, after having a naked wrestle with my boyfriend, I discovered he'd left a skidmark on my stomach. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28285) - you deserved it (10821)
On 01/16/2012 at 6:09am - love - by Crashburn (woman) - United Kingdom (Sheffield)
Today, I came across a picture of my grandpa taking a hit off a bong, while wearing nothing but a Playboy shirt. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18648) - you deserved it (2802)
On 01/09/2012 at 1:53pm - misc - by mortifiedgrandchild - United States (Florida)
Today, my boyfriend asked me for a blow job. After I said "no" over ten times, he decided to get up and slap me across the face with his penis. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41075) - you deserved it (36320)
On 01/08/2012 at 9:36am - intimacy - by omgwhyme (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, while helping my father build a shelf, I suggested that we should probably use the instruction manual. He suggested I should probably shut the fuck up and do it his way. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21876) - you deserved it (10754)
On 01/07/2012 at 7:12pm - misc - by Jman6295 (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, while helping my father build a shelf, I suggested that we should probably use the instruction manual. He suggested I should probably shut the fuck up and do it his way. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21876) - you deserved it (10754)
On 01/07/2012 at 7:12pm - misc - by Jman6295 (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, it was my first day working as a nightclub bartender. All through the evening, a really creepy bloke stood in a dark corner and leered at the girls on the dance floor. When I took the bouncer to one side to let him know, he told me the man was a coat stand. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9482) - you deserved it (19915)
On 12/19/2011 at 3:57pm - work - by Bob smith (man) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I dropped my 7-year-old son off at school. He decided to have fun and step out of my car screaming "Stranger danger" while running away and pointing at me. I then had to get out of my car to shut the door he'd left wide open. This caused 20 other kids to scream "Stranger danger" as well. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24070) - you deserved it (2243)
On 12/19/2011 at 7:24am - kids - by dealingdave - United States (Missouri)
Today, I had to stay late at work. My husband made me take a video of myself punching out, to prove I wasn't cheating on him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25453) - you deserved it (4424)
On 11/10/2011 at 2:20pm - work - by ToInsecure4me - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I was working the graveyard shift as a security guard. I fell asleep in my car doing paperwork around 2 am. When my supervisor came to check on me, he pounded on my window, wearing a "Scream" mask. I panicked and pepper sprayed him. Too bad my window was closed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11713) - you deserved it (22008)
On 11/10/2011 at 6:40am - work - by copshop - United States (California)
Today, I thought it would be a good idea to let my 19-month-old son watch me pee, since I'm trying to potty train him. I didn't consider that he might try to grab my penis. When he did, I was startled and peed all over the floor and my son. Good job dad. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24153) - you deserved it (16842)
On 11/09/2011 at 4:52pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my father decided that since I'm 21 and have never had a girlfriend, he would buy me a book on how to talk to girls. The book is written by a 9-year-old kid. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22840) - you deserved it (4704)
Today, my girlfriend said I looked like ET and made me pose next to a full scale model of him while she took a picture. She's showing her friends the picture and they agree. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20529) - you deserved it (2540)
On 09/21/2011 at 12:42pm - love - by srloin (man) - United States
Today, I realized that the place that my brothers and I would find soggy balloons and blow them up when we were younger is where the prostitutes take their clients. We were blowing up used condoms for a good part of our childhood. FML
I agree, your life sucks (71638) - you deserved it (9143)
On 09/12/2011 at 12:15pm - intimacy - by IbetIgotAIDS (man) - United States (Kentucky)
Monday 20 May 2013
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