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bonnieshadster

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bonnieshadster
  • Town/Country : columbus, united states
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 26 November 1993 (18 years)
  • Number of visits : 523
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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bonnieshadster's favorite FMLs

Today, I was trying to have sex with my boyfriend, David. I moaned his name and he whispered, "I'm not David." Then, with an Italian accent, he said, "It's-a-me! Mario!" FML

#4882481 (414)

I agree, your life sucks (52744) - you deserved it (12087)

On 08/28/2009 at 1:11pm - intimacy - by Michelle (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, my grandma went to get my twin sister and I a birthday gift. She returned with 2 shirts that read "I see you've met the twins" in big letters across the chest. She gave them to us and said, "Isn't this cute, cause you're twins!" I then had to explain to her what the shirt was actually referring to. FML

#4530948 (162)

I agree, your life sucks (38045) - you deserved it (2633)

On 08/14/2009 at 5:57pm - misc - by twingirl (woman) - United States (Delaware)

Today, I literally stopped traffic. I was crossing the street and a butterfly landed on me. Being phobic of butterflies, I had a panic attack in the middle of the road. Oh, and I am 17, captain of our football team, and in very good shape. My girlfriend laughed the hardest. FML

#4525487 (288)

I agree, your life sucks (32139) - you deserved it (15884)

On 08/14/2009 at 1:10pm - animals - by Butterflyguy (man) - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, I was looking over the schedule for errors and circled a group of mistakes before handing it to my manager. When she handed it back to me, she gave me a weird look and I immediately noticed that the group of numbers I had circled formed a giant penis shape on the paper. FML

#4525349 (64)

I agree, your life sucks (31331) - you deserved it (4403)

On 08/14/2009 at 1:01pm - work - by dumblond (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, I found out my husband had bought my 1-year-old daughter a shirt that says "Birth Control Fail" in pink glittery letters. He even took her out in it while I was at work. FML

#4525246 (217)

I agree, your life sucks (48206) - you deserved it (5287)

On 08/14/2009 at 12:57pm - kids - by ohgod (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, I was at the beach with friends and I fell asleep while I was tanning. When I woke up, everyone was laughing hysterically. I asked what was so funny, and one of my friends replies, "you farted so loud in your sleep that you woke yourself up." FML

#4440172 (89)

I agree, your life sucks (39784) - you deserved it (5489)

On 08/11/2009 at 12:06am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was having really bad diarrhea. I sat down on the toilet and heard a plop, thinking it was just me going to the bathroom. After I was finished, I look in the toilet to see my iPhone sitting in a pool of diarrhea. FML

#4029812 (180)

I agree, your life sucks (50333) - you deserved it (15689)

On 07/25/2009 at 1:14pm - money - by Pottymouth (man) - United States

Today, while showering at my boyfriend's house early this morning, I saw a huge black spider on the wall. I am allergic to spiders, so in my disorientation I ran out of the shower screaming, slipped, sprained my wrist and bruised my tailbone. Turns out the spider was a clump of hair. My hair. FML

#3981210 (145)

I agree, your life sucks (12530) - you deserved it (29066)

On 07/23/2009 at 3:43pm - animals - by emmey (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I said to the pool-boy of my house: “I know what you are doing and you have to stop it.” He started shouting that I had no right to tell them what to do and that they were in love. He was referring to his relationship with my eldest son. I wanted to tell him to stop drinking my beers. FML

#3973803 (275)

I agree, your life sucks (45919) - you deserved it (5988)

On 07/23/2009 at 7:13am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Greece (Attiki)

Today, while walking through the park, a little boy came running up to me and hit me in the nuts with a stick. I fell on the ground and looked up just in time to see his mom giving him the thumbs up with a smile on her face. FML

#3971516 (144)

I agree, your life sucks (43410) - you deserved it (2891)

On 07/23/2009 at 3:10am - kids - by bbbkingsey (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I asked my parents to sign for me to enlist in the military. They asked me how much money the government gives them if I die. FML

#3971502 (206)

I agree, your life sucks (42714) - you deserved it (4648)

On 07/23/2009 at 3:10am - misc - by Tallow101 - United States (Ohio)

Today, in the midst of foreplay, this girl tells me I am so hot, I respond "Ditto." She heatedly responds "I love ditto," to which I suavely reply "I didn't know you were into Pokémon. That may make you even sexier." She knows nothing about Pokémon, but I sure know how to kill the mood. FML

#3971030 (323)

I agree, your life sucks (13064) - you deserved it (53422)

On 07/23/2009 at 2:42am - intimacy - by MitchFail (man) - United States

Today, I got very dressed up and was excited for my uncle's wedding. While standing in line for photos, I heard my dad's voice from behind me say "Who's the hot chick in the brown dress?" My uncle responds "Uh, that's your daughter." Silence. FML

#3967657 (189)

I agree, your life sucks (56767) - you deserved it (2875)

On 07/23/2009 at 12:26am - misc - by Rory (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was taking a shower when my boyfriend suddenly hopped in with me. We were getting a little frisky when my mom's hand unexpectedly came through the curtain, and dropped a condom in the bottom of the shower, all the while saying, "Keep it safe kids!". FML

#3932433 (380)

I agree, your life sucks (45815) - you deserved it (20903)

On 07/21/2009 at 3:45pm - intimacy - by uh-oh (woman) - United States (New Mexico)

Today, after my girlfriend of 2 years left me for another guy, I got stuck in an elevator for 3 hours. With both of them. FML

#3926202 (89)

I agree, your life sucks (54392) - you deserved it (1852)

On 07/21/2009 at 9:41am - love - by ntm690 (man) - United States



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