![[fr]](http://cdn2.fmylife.com/fmylife/images/flag_fr_hover.gif)
![[it]](http://cdn1.fmylife.com/fmylife/images/flag_it_hover.gif)
![[es2]](http://cdn2.fmylife.com/fmylife/images/flag_es2_hover.gif)
![[tr]](http://cdn4.fmylife.com/fmylife/images/flag_tr_hover.gif)
![[de]](http://cdn1.fmylife.com/fmylife/images/flag_de_hover.gif)
![[ru]](http://cdn2.fmylife.com/fmylife/images/flag_ru_hover.gif)
![[se]](http://cdn4.fmylife.com/fmylife/images/flag_se_hover.gif)
This member hasn't filled in the description.
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, while at work as a lifeguard, an older gentleman who comes in almost every morning wearing a very tight swimming suit, came up to me and said, "I don't want you having any erotic fantasies of me." After a long pause he added, "Actually, I wouldn't mind it if you do." FML
I agree, your life sucks (25232) - you deserved it (2565)
On 03/17/2010 at 3:32pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I chose a cute tank top and some shorts to wear. Later, I was shopping at Target with my dad when he pointed to a girl in the same isle and said to me, "Don't ever dress like that. It looks cute on her, but you couldn't pull it off." She was wearing shorts and a tank top. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18063) - you deserved it (2849)
On 03/16/2010 at 2:42am - misc - by Stella Grubner -
Today, my boyfriend of almost a year and a half broke up with me when he decided he wasn't in love with me anymore. We gave our stuff back, he was joking and happy the whole time until I told him I was taking back my cat. At that point he burst into tears. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22689) - you deserved it (2348)
On 03/15/2010 at 11:27am - love - by stunned (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, while making out with my boyfriend, he started playing with my nipples. Suddenly he stops kissing me, looks at my nipples and says, "Have they always been like this? They look like joysticks!". He then started singing the Super Mario Brother's theme song and playing the game with my nipples. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19046) - you deserved it (3546)
On 03/14/2010 at 10:09pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I found out that the so-called vegetarian soy sauce my mom has made for me several times has minced meat in it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15694) - you deserved it (8178)
On 03/14/2010 at 6:21am - misc - by Vegetarian (woman) - Finland (Western Finland)
Today, I was in bed with my boyfriend, in the middle of foreplay, and somehow out of my mouth came, "I want to be inside you." I'm a woman. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14117) - you deserved it (6608)
On 03/14/2010 at 3:54am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was making out with my boyfriend. He suddenly pulls away, and goes, 'OMNOMNOMNOM' then continues kissing me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15364) - you deserved it (14942)
On 03/09/2010 at 1:43am - love - by anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I came down with sudden diarrhea while at taekwondo practice. I discretely called my dad for a pickup, but on our way out, he told my instructor that I had to go because I was "shitting my pants with fear". He did this in front of all my classmates. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16228) - you deserved it (1516)
On 03/04/2010 at 1:52pm - health - by GoDiarrhea (woman) - Argentina (Distrito Federal)
Today, I stole a bite of my boyfriend's hamburger. He threw a fit, saying I took too big a bite and I had to replace it with a new, more expensive one. Afterwards, he said how lucky I was he didn't break up with me then and there. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24147) - you deserved it (6342)
On 03/04/2010 at 12:15pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Estonia (Harjumaa)
Today, I got a 95 on my term project. To congratulate me, my boyfriend said we're having sex tonight. I only get laid if I get good grades. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16455) - you deserved it (4021)
On 03/04/2010 at 10:48am - intimacy - by lalararara - United States
Today, we were working with infant and adult CPR dummies. After practising flawless CPR on the adult dummy, I announced "And that's how you save someone." Then I tripped on the baby dummy and fell. My co-worker stood up and yelled out, "And that's how you kill a baby." FML
I agree, your life sucks (4514) - you deserved it (16081)
On 03/03/2010 at 7:07pm - misc - by DUMMIE (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, trying to take initiative, I wore nothing but an apron and led my husband to the kitchen by his knob to have some fun. I tripped on the floor and used his knob to keep balance. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12874) - you deserved it (4551)
On 03/03/2010 at 11:22am - intimacy - by Sorry (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I got excited because a snowman I had built lasted a whole week, which is uncommon in my mild climate area. I thought myself lucky, and that my life was turning around. Then I realized how lame my whole train of thought was. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11844) - you deserved it (5331)
On 03/03/2010 at 1:10am - misc - by JoshuaRob - United States
Today, I reached a new low and embarrased my entire family. While in the frozen section of Walmart, I dropped to my knees and let out a horrific, agonizing scream, when I found out they were out of Strawberry Toaster Strudels. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4713) - you deserved it (36913)
On 02/28/2010 at 2:17pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, a guy at work told me to "relax dude", all day long. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11829) - you deserved it (3857)
On 02/24/2010 at 7:57pm - work - by Herman - Sent from mobile version
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML 
Follow the FML blog 
Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
