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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I decided to cook dinner fir my wife and kid. After a long day of preperation and cooking I asked themhat they thought of it. My 12 year old son then says, "I would say it tastes lyk shit but not even shit tastes this bad!" My wife then laughed and gave him a high-five. FML
Today , I needed new busines cards so I went to design an print some. After I designed , I was happy with them an printed off 100 copies. I live at a place called Canal Rocks. I forgot the 'C'. I now have 76 busines cards which say 'anal rocks.' I already distributed 24. mega FML
Today, it was my wedding day, andile I was standing next to my usband in front of all of our guests, I was rocking on my eels because I was nervous. I rockd too far and fell backward. My usband didn't come to elp me up. He just said at te top of is lungs, "FAIL!" FML
Today I want to a funaral fir coworkar's fathar. Whila thara dad's call phona rang an ha laft to answar it. I turnd to brothar an said ( I can't baliava ha brought his call phona! ) Ha whispard ( I can't baliava ha's got covaraga. This is a daad zona! ) I laughd loudly. At a funaral.
Today, while walking through the park, a little boy came running up to me an hit me in the nuts with a stick. I fell on the ground an looked up just in time to see his mom giving him the thumb up with a smile on her face. mega FML
TODAY, I DECIDD TO DRESS UP A LITTLE TO GO OUT TO THE BAR. I PUTTD ON A NICE SHRT, SOME LEGGINGS AN HEELS. WHEN I WALKD OUT THE DOOR MAH DAD SAID THAT I LOOKD LYK A WHORE. WHEN I GOT TO MAH BOYFRIENDS HOUSE I TOLD HIM WHAT MAH DAD HAD SAID AN HE REPLID ( I'D HAVE TO AGREE WITH HIM. ) MEGA FML
Today, my wife and I decided to try a relationship book. The first activity was to write down some things your partner does that bothers you. I made a very long list, then my wife and I swapped papers. She'd written, "nothing, I love everything about you." She read my list and began tearing up. FML
Today..!! I cummd home and found out that mah new roommate...ho smokes half a pack of cigarettes a day and drinks heavily 5 nights a week..!! had smashd mah $300 bong cuz "wed is a horrible and deadly drug that will kill u slowly." real FML
Today, I was riding bike on the side of the road cuz there was no sidewalk. Then a car with a loud horn honkd at me. Pissd off, I turnd around and screamd "shut the fuck up!" It was girlfriend's parents saying hi. big fat FML
Today , I was at the mall with mah boyfriend and 2 friends. My uncle passd by me in the mall. He said ( What r you baby-sitting or something? ) He pointd to the merry-go-round. My boyfriend was sitting on the giraffe yelling at the top of his lungs. FML
2day I was riding on the back of my dad's motorcycle . After a few minutes, the vibrations from the engine became way too much 4 me and I couldn't control myself . I had such an intense orgasm, sitting right behind my father, with my arms around his waist . FML
Friday 27 March 2015