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bonafide1201

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bonafide1201
  • Town/Country : Tampa, United States
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 890
  • Number of comments : 4
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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bonafide1201's favorite FMLs

Today, I was bitched out by my 17 year old son's teacher. It seems the idiot teacher made the kids advocate for his own political beliefs in a presentation, and my son ended his speech saying, "And it remains my opinion that our instructor is cramping my motherfucking style." Instant suspension. FML

#18095977 (275)

I agree, your life sucks (18824) - you deserved it (3402)

On 10/28/2011 at 11:52am - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I went to a restaurant with a girl I really liked. She started crying when an overweight family walked in and loudly sobbed about how the parents were "murdering" their children. This made the father of that family try to fight me. FML

#17649932 (279)

I agree, your life sucks (23959) - you deserved it (2255)

On 09/03/2011 at 1:33am - health - by whatdidIdo (man) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I was at a music festival, watching one of my favorite bands. The security guys were throwing water into the crowd to cool us down. I saw some about to be thrown by another fan, so I stood with my mouth open to catch some of it. I ended up with a face full of hot piss. FML

#17643298 (161)

I agree, your life sucks (21563) - you deserved it (12412)

On 09/02/2011 at 9:45am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, my husband went in for surgery and handed me an important document. It wasn't a will or anything similar, but a list of items and gold he wanted passed on to guild members on World of Warcraft. FML

#17642132 (241)

I agree, your life sucks (20735) - you deserved it (2647)

On 09/02/2011 at 4:02am - health - by WoWWidow (woman) - United States (California)

Today, someone broke into my car just to steal the freshly baked cookies in the back seat. They also left a thank you note. FML

#17384157 (173)

I agree, your life sucks (22255) - you deserved it (2350)

On 08/06/2011 at 1:53am - misc - by nomorecookies - United States (Missouri)

Today, my house was raided for drugs. I had to find out my father is a drug dealer. The cops then told me this wasn't their first time here, but it was the first time I was home to see it. They said it was nice to finally meet me. FML

#17375446 (130)

I agree, your life sucks (38084) - you deserved it (1579)

On 08/05/2011 at 4:41am - misc - by thehumanshield - United States (California)

Today, after having my car been broken into the day before because I didn't lock it, I made sure I locked my doors. When I got off shift and entered the parking lot, I noticed a brick had been thrown through my windshield and a note that said, "Nice Try". FML

#17037512 (162)

I agree, your life sucks (31739) - you deserved it (2153)

On 07/09/2011 at 3:04am - misc - by JohnyP - United States (Ohio)

Today, my drunk father chased me down the street with my little brother's light saber screaming, "Come back Yoda! Teach me how to use the force!" FML

#17023204 (273)

I agree, your life sucks (29053) - you deserved it (3211)

On 07/08/2011 at 1:23am - misc - by Yoda (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my mom tried to sell me a bag of rice, with "Cocaine" written on the side of it in sharpie pen. In exchange for my soul. FML

#16993109 (306)

I agree, your life sucks (26729) - you deserved it (2589)

On 07/05/2011 at 10:54pm - misc - by Username - United States

Today, I got trapped in a glass elevator at the mall. My father walked right by the elevator, laughed and went into a store. A fireman got me out. FML

#16990171 (95)

I agree, your life sucks (23821) - you deserved it (2096)

On 07/05/2011 at 6:37pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I had to sift through hundreds of pages of legal documents. They were all written in Comic Sans font. FML

#16984657 (263)

I agree, your life sucks (26292) - you deserved it (2858)

On 07/05/2011 at 10:04am - work - by chawlay (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I laughed when I saw my ex-girlfriend in her overall uniform, thinking she'd got a job as a janitor. Turns out she's as professional marine welder. She's 22 years old and earns my monthly salary in three days. My current girlfriend who was there with me called me a loser in front of her. FML

#16982648 (175)

I agree, your life sucks (8246) - you deserved it (39919)

On 07/05/2011 at 3:06am - love - by eatmywords (man) - Singapore

Today, while using the restroom at work, I dropped my keys into the toilet. I left to find something to get them out and figured nobody would use a toilet with keys in it. I came back to a bowl of dung and "Shit happens" written on the wall in lipstick. FML

#16980115 (150)

I agree, your life sucks (24948) - you deserved it (5405)

On 07/05/2011 at 12:04am - work - by Stacy - United States

Today, my sister confessed to me that she sold some of my old shirts to the girl who's stalking me. This explains why I got a note that read, "I have your scent, now I can track you." FML

#16965226 (169)

I agree, your life sucks (33049) - you deserved it (1842)

On 07/03/2011 at 8:27pm - misc - by beablue18 - Germany (Rheinland-Pfalz)

Today, while I thought my brother was playing with my new phone, he was actually texting a bunch of my friends that I have chlamydia. He deleted his texts so I wouldn't see them, and I spent a half-hour trying to figure out why I kept getting texts of shock and sympathy. We're both in our 20's. FML

#16945555 (88)

I agree, your life sucks (22030) - you deserved it (2947)

On 07/02/2011 at 3:42am - misc - by Anonymouse (woman) - United States (Illinois)



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