Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

bogart20

Offline (the 04/11/2015 at 3:47pm) | Search for a member

bogart20

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Sunday 14 July 1991 (23 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 5004
  • Number of comments : 59
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

bogart20's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

See all of bogart20's badges

bogart20's favorite FMLs

Today, my school voted for a Pokémon theme for this year's homecoming. FML

#17773811
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33468) - you deserved it (16852)

On 09/18/2011 at 5:16pm - misc - by ohgodwhy - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my five year old ran down the street wearing nothing but flip flops, Star Wars underwear, and a baseball helmet. He was swinging a badminton racket while screaming "THIS IS SPARTA!" My neighbors watched laughing as I had to run after him down the street in my pajamas. FML

#17767423
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31445) - you deserved it (8501)

On 09/17/2011 at 9:20pm - kids - by awesomekidsmum - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my five year old ran down the street wearing nothing but flip flops, Star Wars underwear, and a baseball helmet. He was swinging a badminton racket while screaming "THIS IS SPARTA!" My neighbors watched laughing as I had to run after him down the street in my pajamas. FML

#17767423
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31445) - you deserved it (8501)

On 09/17/2011 at 9:20pm - kids - by awesomekidsmum - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I got pulled over for distracted driving. Not for cell phone use but for nose picking and inspecting. FML

#17762690
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9695) - you deserved it (35909)

On 09/17/2011 at 4:37am - misc - by jj4320 - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend gave me a speech on me "not being manly enough". I started crying. FML

#17762644
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17876) - you deserved it (48557)

On 09/17/2011 at 4:17am - love - by Anonymous - South Africa (Gauteng)

Today, my girlfriend told me that if my penis was on any other body it would be considered small, but on me it's "cute." FML

#17744252
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39053) - you deserved it (4124)

On 09/14/2011 at 2:11pm - intimacy - by wf - United States

Today, after being cut out of the car, on the way to hospital in the ambulance, we were involved in another accident. FML

#17736251
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34165) - you deserved it (1987)

On 09/13/2011 at 1:07pm - health - by skitzobiatch69 - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I met an old friend from high school and his hot girlfriend. I jokingly said she must be blind to go out with him. His response: "Yeah, she is." FML

#17728499
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19456) - you deserved it (33303)

On 09/12/2011 at 3:25pm - misc - by aru9 - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I realized that the place that my brothers and I would find soggy balloons and blow them up when we were younger is where the prostitutes take their clients. We were blowing up used condoms for a good part of our childhood. FML

#17727595
398 comments

I agree, your life sucks (89385) - you deserved it (13961)

On 09/12/2011 at 12:15pm - intimacy - by IbetIgotAIDS (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, a woman came into the gas station where I work, yelling because her credit card wouldn't read at the pump. I politely told her that I could set the pump up for a set amount, and she could swipe the card at the register. Her response: "You need Jesus." FML

#17727242
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27434) - you deserved it (2417)

On 09/12/2011 at 10:28am - work - by charliemann_ - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I thought my hamster might be lonely, so I went to the pet shop and bought a new one to keep him company. The new hamster killed the old one. FML

#17727112
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30388) - you deserved it (12622)

On 09/12/2011 at 9:52am - animals - by squeak (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I was the victim of a drive-by. The attackers used water guns. FML

#17724131
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21871) - you deserved it (5855)

On 09/11/2011 at 10:50pm - misc - by COCKYmanUSC - United States (South Carolina)

Today, the girl I've been dating, and starting to fall in love with, walked out of the bathroom claiming we were going to be parents. I jumped off of the couch in disbelief, yelling, "Really?" She replied, "Really. I just gave birth to a huge dump baby." FML

#17718767
352 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39497) - you deserved it (7115)

On 09/11/2011 at 11:13am - misc - by CaseyFpC85 - United States (Florida)

Today, I needed to pay off a $35 parking ticket. To try and get some sort of revenge, I went to the bank and got 3,500 pennies, dumped them into a bucket, and refused to pay with anything besides the pennies. They called the police. I was arrested and cited $147. FML

Today, my dad met my fiancé's dad for the first time. My fiancé's dad is a cop. He had arrested my dad for indecent exposure in the past. FML

#17691759
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36716) - you deserved it (2750)

On 09/07/2011 at 9:22pm - intimacy - by lolomg (woman) - New Zealand (Wellington)



FML's blog

  • FML's Question Time #2 : School
  • We tried this before and it went pretty well, so here's another blog section for everyone to have give their opinion on a popular but controversial subject. OK, we're not debating a…

Thursday 23 April 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: