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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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bobuhbeartoe

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bobuhbeartoe
  • Town/Country : California, United States
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 30 November 1990 (21 years)
  • Number of visits : 203
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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bobuhbeartoe's favorite FMLs

Today, I took my brother and nieces to the zoo. Two of the lions at the exhibit were mating, so I said, "They're playing leap-frog." My 4-year-old niece said, "Looks like they're fucking to me." FML

#12663575 (276)

I agree, your life sucks (35971) - you deserved it (10383)

On 08/21/2010 at 12:49pm - intimacy - by mc_dreamy - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I learned that you can pierce your balls. However, sitting on a thumbtack is not the best way to find this out. FML

#5096341 (88)

I agree, your life sucks (39472) - you deserved it (4900)

On 09/07/2009 at 12:57am - misc - by Ballshurt (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I found out my husband had bought my 1-year-old daughter a shirt that says "Birth Control Fail" in pink glittery letters. He even took her out in it while I was at work. FML

#4525246 (214)

I agree, your life sucks (47871) - you deserved it (5206)

On 08/14/2009 at 12:57pm - kids - by ohgod (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, my grandfather was counting all the grandchildren he had and saying how fortunate he was to have all of us. When I pointed out that he'd forgotten to count me, he turned and said "You're adopted, you don't count as a real grandchild" FML

#4277712 (201)

I agree, your life sucks (66772) - you deserved it (2517)

On 08/04/2009 at 8:02am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Singapore

Today, I went to a bookstore and asked the sales woman,"Where's the self-help section?" She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose. FML

#4271664 (130)

I agree, your life sucks (13113) - you deserved it (31206)

On 08/04/2009 at 12:45am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, it was my wedding day, and while I was standing next to my husband in front of all of our guests, I was rocking on my heels because I was nervous. I rocked too far and fell backward. My husband didn't come to help me up. He just said at the top of his lungs, "FAIL!" FML

#4219573 (237)

I agree, your life sucks (50429) - you deserved it (10397)

On 08/02/2009 at 12:21am - love - by thefailure (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was downtown with my boyfriend around Noon when we walked past a few guys who shouted out to me "You're the most beautiful girl we've seen all day". My boyfriend's response was "It's still early." FML

#4156114 (101)

I agree, your life sucks (37743) - you deserved it (2712)

On 07/30/2009 at 8:32am - misc - by epicc1584 - United States (Maryland) - moderated by the Jackass crew

Today, I was standing by the bed naked, waiting for my wife to come out of the bathroom. She opens the door and walks over to me, swinging her hips, wearing pratically nothing. About four feet from me, she trips on the edge of the floor mat, and uses my 'junk' to catch herself. FML

#3950301 (181)

I agree, your life sucks (63756) - you deserved it (4387)

On 07/22/2009 at 10:12am - intimacy - by Gordon (man) - United States (Kansas)

Today, at work, a woman came up to the counter and asked if we made sweet and sour chicken. Before I could answer, she told me a really long recipe and said "I expect to see this on the menu next time I come in, or I will complain to the manager about your lousy work ethic". I work at Starbucks. FML

#3495649 (319)

I agree, your life sucks (56286) - you deserved it (2495)

On 07/05/2009 at 1:21am - work - by Barista (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I went to announce to my son that I am pregnant again. After I told him, he looks up and yells: "fuck this shit!" and walks out of the room. My son is nine years old. FML

#3261545 (235)

I agree, your life sucks (50771) - you deserved it (18618)

On 06/27/2009 at 12:05am - kids - by poormom (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I heard my daughter scream at my son through the bathroom door, "Are you jacking off in there or something?" and him scream back at her "Shut up you fucking cunt!" My daughter is 7 and my son is 8. FML

#2772494 (859)

I agree, your life sucks (85949) - you deserved it (50908)

On 06/10/2009 at 2:09pm - intimacy - by badmom (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I asked my boss for a raise. He responded with "Who the hell are you?" FML

#24685 (24)

I agree, your life sucks (29078) - you deserved it (3063)

On 02/11/2009 at 9:59am - misc - by ADD (man) - Bulgaria (Grad Sofiya)