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Today, I stayed in a hotel near the college I was applying for a scholarship. We were eating breakfast and there were some other applicants in the breakfast room. As we walked away, my mother yelled, "My daughter's gonna get this scholarship so there's no reason for you muddafuckas to show up." FML
I agree, your life sucks (30421) - you deserved it (2127)
On 02/18/2013 at 9:01am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I had to spend a few hours in a hospital with a toddler and a preschooler projecting vomit all over, because my husband thinks "expiration dates are for pussies." FML
I agree, your life sucks (29203) - you deserved it (2872)
On 02/18/2013 at 2:44am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Quebec)
Today, my mom called me a "heartless bitch" for eating the last Hot Pocket. This is coming from a woman who, just last week, faked having cancer to get out of a speeding ticket. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27651) - you deserved it (258)
On 02/17/2013 at 7:24pm - misc - by DontGetSlapped - United States (Arkansas)
Today, while riding the train home, I noticed a man who kept looking at me. Annoyed, I told him to be less obvious and to stop staring. He promptly responded, "Bitch, I'm gay, and even I can tell no one would want to look at you." FML
I agree, your life sucks (9509) - you deserved it (37766)
On 02/14/2013 at 2:39am - misc - by assoutofuandme (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I casually mentioned to my dad that it was the Chinese New Year yesterday. He accused me of insulting his intelligence by "making stupid shit up." I explained that it's real, and that we just use the Gregorian calendar, hence the different dates. He responded by grounding me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24353) - you deserved it (2945)
On 02/10/2013 at 8:00pm - misc - by must be adopted (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, really desperate to get a job, I filled out an application for a dishwashing job. My application got tossed out, because I'm not an economics major like the other guy applying for the same job. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20629) - you deserved it (1420)
On 02/10/2013 at 12:55pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Norway (Hordaland)
Today, working as a nurse, I saw a patient in for follow-up after a partial leg amputation. I checked her blood pressure and gave her the reading, which prompted her husband to ask what it meant. She replied, "I'm alive." Before I could stop myself, "And kicking" spilled out of my mouth. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19773) - you deserved it (6203)
On 02/04/2013 at 10:30pm - health - by facepalm - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I desperately needed to pee, so I decided to confront my anxiety issues and use a public toilet. I opened the lid, only to see several huge, rancid floaters staring back at me. I had an attack, started sobbing, and pissed myself on the way home. Never again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23085) - you deserved it (1157)
On 02/01/2013 at 6:53pm - misc - by VMV (woman) - Spain (Catalonia)
Today, my grandmother walked in on me watching porn on my computer. She looked at the woman on the screen and said, "I used to have tits like that, but look what having 7 kids did to them." Now I'm scarred for life. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16454) - you deserved it (24072)
On 02/01/2013 at 6:05am - intimacy - by Master Debater (man) - Australia
Today, I saw a lady who had fainted. I ran over to help, only to find out that she was unstable and had a knife in her hand. She was pointing it at me, and growled threateningly every time I tried to move away. It took the cops an hour to defuse the situation. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28598) - you deserved it (2050)
On 01/29/2013 at 4:48am - misc - by thegirlofthedad (woman) - India (Maharashtra)
Today, I made my first snowman ever, and then cried when my big brother kicked it to pieces. I'm 27. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24245) - you deserved it (7024)
On 01/23/2013 at 7:17pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Kent)
Today, after a long, horrible day at work and some fighting with my family and my girlfriend, I decided to cheer myself up by going to McDonald's for a change. I burst into tears when the cashier told me they couldn't make me a Mars McFlurry because they'd run out of ingredients. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30431) - you deserved it (6019)
On 01/15/2013 at 3:56pm - misc - by Anonymous - Finland (Southern Finland)
Today, when I got home I noticed a statue of a gnome sitting next to the door. I've had an intense phobia of gnomes since I was a child, and I can't bring myself to walk past it. It's been half an hour and I'm still standing outside. I can see my dad through the window laughing and waving. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18460) - you deserved it (5347)
On 01/05/2013 at 12:30am - love - by VampObsessed - United States (Texas)
Today, my car was broken into. What was stolen? My daughter's $11 One Direction poster. What will it cost to fix my car? $1,000. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30995) - you deserved it (3151)
On 12/27/2012 at 11:58pm - money - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, while at the store with my mom and baby brother, a guy started to talk to me. Just as he went to give me his number, my mom handed me my brother and said, "Here's your son, your AA meeting's in an hour, let's go." FML
I agree, your life sucks (42167) - you deserved it (3410)
On 12/26/2012 at 1:30pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Monday 20 May 2013
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