This member hasn't filled in the description.
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
A new Thumb
You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.
Judgmental
You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.
Today, my girlfriend opened my refrigerator and began her standard moan: "You're a pig, you never clean up. Look at that egg, it makes me want to throw up, it's gone black, it’s covered in fuzz, IT'S GOT HAIR ON IT!" I got up to check it out. It was a Kiwi fruit. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29684) - you deserved it (2916) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 08/02/2012 at 9:00am - love - by opinaise - France (Midi-Pyrenees)
Today, my girlfriend called and said she had great news. Turns out I've cured her of that illness she gets every month. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22574) - you deserved it (12997)
On 03/14/2012 at 3:51am - misc - by daddy-o - United States (Utah)
Today, my girlfriend came to my house crying because the guy who she has been cheating on me with doesn't want to be with her anymore. FML
I agree, your life sucks (48244) - you deserved it (3455)
On 11/05/2011 at 11:40am - love - by oink401 - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my six-year-old got in an argument with my four-year-old. I told them to go outside. The next thing I know, my son was standing in front of his sister's burning Barbie's Malibu Dream House, singing "Burn Baby Burn" and cackling madly. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27484) - you deserved it (8383)
On 10/02/2011 at 3:27am - kids - by TraumatizedMother (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I woke up next to my boss naked. We are both women and she is married. Work should be interesting tomorrow. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16159) - you deserved it (32430)
On 09/26/2011 at 2:20pm - intimacy - by BigBananaLover - United States (California)
Today, I was rushed to the hospital to deliver my child. On the way, I called my husband who was in a bar with his friends. Drunk, he just yelled, "BROS BEFORE HOS!!" and hung up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (59677) - you deserved it (6014)
On 10/04/2010 at 5:42pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Quebec)
Today, my friend had to take my cat who has a tumor to be put down when I wasn't home since I couldn't bare to take him myself. I have two cats. He took the wrong one. FML
I agree, your life sucks (350081) - you deserved it (41200)
On 05/10/2009 at 3:01pm - animals - by catlady (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I was bored and decided it would be fun to pretend to be an undercover cop and pull over other cars. The first car I pulled over was a real undercover cop. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26091) - you deserved it (232654)
On 04/16/2009 at 8:19pm - misc - by tvaladie (man) - United States (Tennessee)
Today, my first girlfriend of over 3 years left me for another guy. She said she's looking for someone who can financially provide for her in the future. The dude owns a T-Mobile kiosk. I'm going to medical school. FML
I agree, your life sucks (409934) - you deserved it (22755)
On 03/15/2009 at 2:29pm - love - by thankskimi (man) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, my family and I were at a restaurant. We're Swedish and love talking about people in our language because no one ever understands here. I decided to comment about how ugly the girl at the next table was. She turned around and goes "Dra åt helvete." That's Swedish for "Go to hell." FML
I agree, your life sucks (17639) - you deserved it (240556)
On 03/14/2009 at 9:30pm - misc - by SwedishBozo (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (470761) - you deserved it (584554)
On 03/09/2009 at 6:58pm - intimacy - by RC3Welly (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, my daughter asked me when was the first time I had sex. After I told her 22 she quickly shouted, "Beat ya!" She's thirteen. FML
I agree, your life sucks (361015) - you deserved it (67414)
On 03/06/2009 at 2:04pm - intimacy - by Noname (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, my husband dropped me off at work. Ten minutes later I got a text saying "I just dropped the b*tch off I'll be there in a few baby, miss you". I asked him about it. He said, "I don't know what you're talking about, Megan". My name isn't Megan. Not even close. FML
I agree, your life sucks (1008322) - you deserved it (80157)
On 02/28/2009 at 6:10am - love - by thatsucks (woman) - United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire)
Today, I got stuck in an elevator for 2 hours with my boyfriend and the guy that I have been secretly having an affair with for 6 months. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31088) - you deserved it (247299)
On 02/02/2009 at 2:23pm - love - by Noname (woman) - United States (Maryland)
Monday 17 June 2013
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML Follow the FML blog 
Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
FML Everywhere: Français - Italiano - Español - Türk - Pусский - Svenskt - Indonesia
