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bnomis

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bnomis

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 1 October 1991 (22 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 22990
  • Number of comments : 10
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About bnomis : I'm Simon. FML.

bnomis's page activity

Visits<b>NotAUser</b> - the 07/24/2014 at 6:45pm<b>Dreamer4094</b> - the 05/15/2013 at 1:34am<b>Mornai</b> - the 08/07/2012 at 7:58am<b>krazzygood</b> - the 05/03/2009 at 10:34pm<b>megahoe</b> - the 05/01/2009 at 1:25am<b>Sunol</b> - the 04/27/2009 at 1:09pm<b>BillyAdict</b> - the 04/26/2009 at 4:07am<b>username666</b> - the 04/23/2009 at 11:09am<b>skyler1193</b> - the 04/22/2009 at 3:57pm<b>Meow34</b> - the 04/19/2009 at 6:56pm<b>logana</b> - the 04/08/2009 at 5:57pm

bnomis's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

bnomis's favorite FMLs

Today, I got kicked in the face at a soccer game. Everybody clapped. FML

#1351695
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62511) - you deserved it (8803)

On 04/26/2009 at 11:14am - misc - by Tal (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I walked into my dorm to find my roommate hanging a voodoo doll of me on a noose. FML

#1346080
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (82126) - you deserved it (5548)

On 04/26/2009 at 2:13am - misc - by calliefml (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, at my grandmothers funeral I tried my hardest not to cry, only allowing tears to fall and not making any noise, to be respectful at her funeral. Afterwards, my mother tells my father that I didn't cry, which obviously meant that I didn't love my grandmother and had no soul. FML

#1303063
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58556) - you deserved it (4171)

On 04/24/2009 at 9:44pm - misc - by baddream (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I started my period. I am getting married tomorrow. So, not only am I going to be on my period for my wedding night and honeymoon, my best friend has to help me change my pad because my dress is so big. FML

#1292043
390 comments

I agree, your life sucks (73382) - you deserved it (8691)

On 04/24/2009 at 3:50pm - misc - by anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, as I was washing the dishes, I felt what I thought was a mosquito on my leg. I kicked at it with my foot only to realize that I had just kicked my adopted puppy in the face. Now, whenever I come into a room, he runs to the corner and pees. FML

#1286671
343 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24863) - you deserved it (84164)

On 04/24/2009 at 11:18am - animals - by Anonymousagb (woman) - United Arab Emirates (Dubai)

Today, I went to my son's soccer game. I cheered his name at the top my lungs and waved with a grin on my face. I saw him whisper something to a team mate so I watched the film my husband took later that night. His friend asked, "Who is that?" and my son replied, "I don't know some fat bitch." FML

#1230911
266 comments

I agree, your life sucks (92297) - you deserved it (17312)

On 04/22/2009 at 5:46pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I texted the hottest girl in the school saying, "I really like you, we should date". She responded with a text saying, "Sorry, I'm not into you." I then got a text saying, "Sorry, my brother stole my phone, and answered, but still it's no". I got rejected twice. Once by a man. FML

#1213141
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57911) - you deserved it (10542)

On 04/22/2009 at 12:09am - love - by misterhippo (man) - United States (California)

Today, I woke up with really dry, chapped lips. Still in bed, without my glasses on, I sleepily reached down into my purse for some chapstick and applied it. Upon awakening later I realized I had mistaken a mini Sharpie permanent marker for chapstick. I have a job interview today. FML

#1100061
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43665) - you deserved it (26940)

On 04/18/2009 at 9:55pm - misc - by pinkblankets (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, at the rehearsal for my wedding, my mother told my bride's mother to fuck off. FML

#1072377
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (74196) - you deserved it (3641)

On 04/17/2009 at 11:14pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I had to re-take an hour long MRI scan because I got an erection midway through. FML

#1051780
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67107) - you deserved it (15744)

On 04/17/2009 at 10:14am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my husband of three years told me he only proposed to me because his favorite football team was winning and he had been drunk. I had our second child three days ago. FML

#1051397
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (85574) - you deserved it (4725)

On 04/17/2009 at 9:44am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I tried to sneak up on my girlfriend who was sitting in her car with one of her girlfriends. I snuck up to the driver's side window and tried to startle her by banging on the window. The window was down. My thumb went right in her eye. She has to wear a patch for 2 weeks. FML

#1021558
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13612) - you deserved it (63479)

On 04/16/2009 at 2:43pm - misc - by shiftybizniss - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I asked my girl friend of a year and a half to give me a blow job. She replied okay and bent down and blew on my penis. Then she looked up at me and said was that good. She was serious. FML

#909616
300 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67307) - you deserved it (19879)

On 04/11/2009 at 12:12am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Utah)

Today, I was flirting via text with a coworker. Things started getting heated, and I wanted to send her a sexy picture. I asked if she had any suggestions. She said, "Your nuts!" She meant, "YOU'RE nuts." I sent her a photo of my junk. I offended a co-worker with incriminating evidence. FML

#869850
342 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36487) - you deserved it (89521)

On 04/08/2009 at 12:10pm - intimacy - by blizzard_of_77 (man) - United States (California)

Today, I thought I heard my little sister playing on my brand new grand piano. Angry, I ran downstairs to stop her. My parents were having sex. On my piano. FML

#800425
343 comments

I agree, your life sucks (282360) - you deserved it (19067)

On 04/04/2009 at 2:15pm - intimacy - by GuitarChick42 (woman) - United States (Virginia)



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