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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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bmxx

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bmxx
  • Town/Country : hartford, ct
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 205
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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bmxx's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend questioned why I always put my shirts in the dryer right before wearing them. I told him it was because the dryer causes my shirts to regain their form and tightness. His response: "You should throw your vagina in there along with them." FML

#12822018 (264)

I agree, your life sucks (31069) - you deserved it (10649)

On 08/30/2010 at 1:51pm - intimacy - by FYouBoyfriend (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend from the top of a bungee jumping platform at an amusement park. I yelled out, "WILL YOU MARRY ME?" from the platform, pointing her out. Turns out, I was pointing at the wrong girl. My girlfriend was very angry and ran away when the wrong girl yelled, "Yes!" FML

#12757529 (176)

I agree, your life sucks (25336) - you deserved it (9631)

On 08/26/2010 at 4:06pm - love - by Ido (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found out that the only reason my boyfriend wants to move in with me is so he has better internet connection and won't get kicked off of Xbox live while playing MW2. FML

#12748631 (170)

I agree, your life sucks (19736) - you deserved it (3824)

On 08/26/2010 at 12:08am - love - by devigsgirl (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, I went on a double date with my bestfriend. At the end of the night, her boyfriend gave her a long kiss, and texted her 5 minutes after we left to say he missed her already. My boyfriend picked his nose, then gave me a fist bump as a goodbye. FML

#12698820 (222)

I agree, your life sucks (25730) - you deserved it (4403)

On 08/23/2010 at 7:40am - love - by Sara1990 (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I took a picture of my "privates" on my girlfriends cell phone and set it as her background without her knowing. Minutes later, I heard her mom scream. She has the same phone. FML

#7492476 (108)

I agree, your life sucks (4482) - you deserved it (19771)

On 01/22/2010 at 1:25am - intimacy - by masterzach21 (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I entered my bedroom, ready to play some COD on my xbox 360. Instead, I find a note where my xbox used to be. It read "You think you can cheat on me and get away with it? Fuck you. I smashed the hell out of your stupid xbox." It was signed by my girlfriend. I never cheated on her. FML

#7185908 (205)

I agree, your life sucks (25252) - you deserved it (1807)

On 01/06/2010 at 7:29pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Newfoundland and Labrador)

Today, I told my boyfriend I was afraid he would no longer love me when he returned from basic training. Hoping he would reassure me his feelings wouldn't change and we'd still be together, he replied instead, "Shit happens." FML

#6148813 (166)

I agree, your life sucks (23605) - you deserved it (5471)

On 11/04/2009 at 9:00am - love - by reality_stricken (woman) - Guam

Today, at work, my stomach hurt and I passed gas for relief. Moments later, I discovered that my loose, silent "fart" was actually a wet, sneaky shart. The mess was beyond repair; I had to fake a family emergency and crept out of the office so that my coworkers wouldn't see my obvious crap stain. FML

#5796915 (111)

I agree, your life sucks (24164) - you deserved it (5978)

On 10/12/2009 at 2:10pm - health - by Few_Absolutes (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, while going up a ski-lift I accidentally dropped my ticket. The ticket I needed at the top to come back down. I had to hike down the mountain in flip-flops. FML

#3454953 (146)

I agree, your life sucks (23086) - you deserved it (9808)

On 07/03/2009 at 1:47pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my family was preparing a turkey for my grandma's birthday dinner when my aunt noticed a utensil on the counter and asked what it was for. My mom said it was used to keep the turkey's legs together. My aunt responded to her by saying, "Maybe you should get one for your daughter." FML

#1690188 (287)

I agree, your life sucks (80419) - you deserved it (15486)

On 05/06/2009 at 12:57pm - intimacy - by Familyskank (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I came home from work and went to open the door. I Iooked in the window and saw a man in my house. Terrified, I called the police. They came, searched the house, and found nothing missing. I went back inside and looked through the window and saw him again. It was my reflection. FML

#1467567 (141)

I agree, your life sucks (8211) - you deserved it (54791)

On 04/29/2009 at 7:12pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my friends and I were drinking boba. On the side of the cup it said "Please drink carefully to avoid choking on the Boba". I started to laugh at the ridiculousness of the label, and choked on the boba in a coughing fit. FML

#296354 (100)

I agree, your life sucks (9571) - you deserved it (51597)

On 03/13/2009 at 12:24am - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my husband dropped me off at work. Ten minutes later I got a text saying "I just dropped the b*tch off I'll be there in a few baby, miss you". I asked him about it he said "I don't know what you're talking about Megan". My name isn't Megan. Not even close. FML

#159600 (93)

I agree, your life sucks (737601) - you deserved it (60971)

On 02/28/2009 at 6:10am - love - by thatsucks (woman) - United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire)

Today, I got talking to a really hot guy at a party. He told me that he was only here because he heard the host would sleep with anyone, and he and his buddies had a bet going. It was my party. FML

#67236 (67)

I agree, your life sucks (33437) - you deserved it (14214)

On 02/18/2009 at 9:15am - love - by Sandra (woman) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I sneezed so hard I herniated my back. After passing out from the pain I awoke on the floor covered in my own shit and piss. Unable to move, I had to wait in this state for four hours for my wife to return home from work, clean me up and take me to the hospital. FML

#2729 (76)

I agree, your life sucks (34601) - you deserved it (1341)

On 01/26/2009 at 7:02pm - health - by Noname - Japan (Fukuoka)