About bmsalinas : I'm sicker than your average.
Judgmental
You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.
50 favourites
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
Profile completed
You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.
Today, while I was having sex with my girlfriend, I heard a notification on my iPhone. I thought nothing of it until we were done, and then I checked it out. My mom had posted on my Facebook, telling me that if I didn't keep it down, she was going to come up to my room. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24414) - you deserved it (10607)
On 11/02/2011 at 12:32am - intimacy - by ugadawgs09 - United States (Tennessee)
Today, I was trying to get my boyfriend in the mood so I held his hands against the bed, and whispered, "Have you been a bad boy?" Thinking he'd say something kinky back, he replied "Yes Santa" then burst out laughing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24617) - you deserved it (10765)
On 11/01/2011 at 10:36pm - intimacy - by HOe HOe HOe (woman) - United States (Hawaii)
Today, I was almost out of conditioner, despite having just bought some. Apparently, my boyfriend has been using it to condition his pubes. He thinks doing this will make me want to give him more blowjobs. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22670) - you deserved it (3646)
On 10/31/2011 at 7:29pm - intimacy - by silkysmooth (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, my dad walked in on me masturbating. All I could say was, "Uh I had an itch..." FML
I agree, your life sucks (13282) - you deserved it (21456)
On 10/29/2011 at 12:43am - intimacy - by me - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I was at the library, and had finally found the book I'd been looking for, when a man approaches me, says "The main character dies at the end", and walks away. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25156) - you deserved it (2220)
On 09/03/2011 at 8:04pm - misc - by haha - United States (California)
Today, I got my first hand job. I started bleeding. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32326) - you deserved it (3904)
On 08/30/2011 at 7:24am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)
Today, thanks to my peripheral vision and a dropped mirror, I realized that I have horrible acne on my ass. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19326) - you deserved it (3642)
On 08/27/2011 at 6:30pm - health - by acnebutt - United States (Maryland)
Today, my boss called me into his office and bitched me out for a good half hour for my attitude to our customers. Apparently I always look pissed off and sound sarcastic. That's just my face at rest. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18409) - you deserved it (3700)
On 08/20/2011 at 5:36pm - work - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Solihull)
Today, I got accepted into University onto a course I don't want to do, but my parents said they would disown me if I didn't go. I believe them: they haven't spoken to my shop assistant sister in about three years now. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24838) - you deserved it (2152)
On 08/18/2011 at 4:45am - work - by Academia (woman) - United Kingdom (Newcastle upon Tyne)
Today, I was sitting in my cubicle at work, nursing a hangover, and thinking how stupid I was for getting so shit-faced last night. I then realized that I was voicing my thoughts out loud, and the whole office had gone quiet, listening to me castigate myself. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7939) - you deserved it (23949)
On 08/18/2011 at 3:42am - work - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I was caught and fined for picking a lock. I have OCD. I was picking the padlock on a toilet paper holder in a public toilet because the roll was the wrong way round. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26177) - you deserved it (10447)
On 08/16/2011 at 2:27am - misc - by Anon - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I started my job as an assistant to a beekeeper. I forgot to put gloves on, and got stung like crazy. My hands swelled up to the size of baseball gloves. Turns out, I'm allergic to bees. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11261) - you deserved it (22991)
Today, at work, a customer came in. Since I was behind the counter, I asked if she needed help with anything. I've worked there for five years, and I didn't recognize my own boss. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6914) - you deserved it (26325)
On 08/15/2011 at 1:00am - work - by DramaticSigh (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Today, my boss became very angry over her own mistake on a spreadsheet. She lashed out by throwing a can of SpaghettiOs at my head. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22144) - you deserved it (1572)
On 08/10/2011 at 10:21pm - work - by Liz - United States
Today, my dad said he can't go to my graduation because he has to work. He got fired a month ago. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24145) - you deserved it (1604)
On 08/08/2011 at 12:03pm - work - by allinicolesmh - United States (Texas)
Monday 20 May 2013
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML 
Follow the FML blog 
Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
FML Everywhere: Français - Italiano - Español - Türk - Pусский - Svenskt - Indonesia
