About bmsalinas : I'm sicker than your average.
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bmsalinas's favorite FMLs
Today, while I was having sex with my girlfriend, I heard a notification on my iPhone. I thought nothing of it until we were done, and then I checked it out. My mom had posted on my Facebook, telling me that if I didn't keep it down, she was going to come up to my room. FML
by ugadawgs09 / 11/02/2011 at 12:32am / United States (Tennessee) / Intimacy
Today, I was trying to get my boyfriend in the mood so I held his hands against the bed, and whispered, "Have you been a bad boy?" Thinking he'd say something kinky back, he replied "Yes Santa" then burst out laughing. FML
by HOe HOe HOe / 11/01/2011 at 10:36pm / United States (Hawaii) / Intimacy
Today, I was almost out of conditioner, despite having just bought some. Apparently, my boyfriend has been using it to condition his pubes. He thinks doing this will make me want to give him more blowjobs. FML
by silkysmooth / 10/31/2011 at 7:29pm / United States (Washington) / Intimacy
by me / 10/29/2011 at 12:43am / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy
by haha / 09/03/2011 at 8:04pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 08/30/2011 at 7:24am / Australia (Queensland) / Intimacy
by acnebutt / 08/27/2011 at 6:30pm / United States (Maryland) / Health
Today, my boss called me into his office and bitched me out for a good half hour for my attitude to our customers. Apparently I always look pissed off and sound sarcastic. That's just my face at rest. FML
by Anonymous / 08/20/2011 at 5:36pm / United Kingdom (Solihull) / Work
Today, I got accepted into University onto a course I don't want to do, but my parents said they would disown me if I didn't go. I believe them: they haven't spoken to my shop assistant sister in about three years now. FML
by Academia / 08/18/2011 at 4:45am / United Kingdom (Newcastle upon Tyne) / Work
Today, I was sitting in my cubicle at work, nursing a hangover, and thinking how stupid I was for getting so shit-faced last night. I then realized that I was voicing my thoughts out loud, and the whole office had gone quiet, listening to me castigate myself. FML
by Anonymous / 08/18/2011 at 3:42am / United States / Work
by Anon / 08/16/2011 at 2:27am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous
by rr / 08/15/2011 at 11:55am / Canada (Ontario) / Work
by DramaticSigh / 08/15/2011 at 1:00am / United States (Colorado) / Work
by Liz / 08/10/2011 at 10:21pm / United States / Work
by allinicolesmh / 08/08/2011 at 12:03pm / United States (Texas) / Work
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, it's been 2 weeks since I ordered a printer so I could print schoolwork, that way I don't…