Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

bmon

Online | Search for a member

bmon

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1142
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About bmon : Baseball player. Living the dream. Feel free to message me.

bmon's page activity

Visits<b>cjwayy</b> - the 08/27/2014 at 1:38am<b>otumboo</b> - the 08/16/2014 at 9:19pm<b>trellz17</b> - the 08/04/2014 at 6:15pm<b>PerSueTwo513</b> - the 08/03/2014 at 4:43pm<b>mariah_m23</b> - the 07/31/2014 at 10:38pm<b>BBlah</b> - the 07/27/2014 at 12:56am<b>thecalvin123</b> - the 07/24/2014 at 2:42pm<b>RenoTheRhino</b> - the 07/22/2014 at 7:11pm<b>MomentoMori</b> - the 07/22/2014 at 3:39pm<b>PCJJacket</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 9:49pm<b>foxwasalamb</b> - the 07/15/2014 at 10:15pm<b>CurlyQute</b> - the 07/13/2014 at 10:17pm<b>allison12197</b> - the 07/13/2014 at 10:52am<b>AvatarKayl</b> - the 07/12/2014 at 1:59am<b>Ghost_Kaulitz</b> - the 07/04/2014 at 10:38pm<b>rutalking2me</b> - the 07/02/2014 at 10:23pm<b>Garrett2818</b> - the 07/02/2014 at 2:47am<b>Mexico_WC2018</b> - the 07/01/2014 at 10:50pm

bmon's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

See all of bmon's badges

bmon's favorite FMLs

Today, my parents met my girlfriend for the first time and cooked us dinner. After, I was helping clean up in the kitchen and my dad says to me, "Don't worry, you have to slay a couple of dragons before you get to the princess." and winks at me. She heard. I was going to propose to her tonight. FML

Today, 3 of the 4 stalls were occupied in the rest room. I took the 4th stall. Upon sitting, I let out one of the longest, loudest farts I have done in a long time. Next, I hear "Hey, how's it going?". I was CORRECTLY identified by a co-worker hearing me fart. FML

#1487277
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51246) - you deserved it (10027)

On 04/30/2009 at 10:55am - work - by RckRagman (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I called my mom into my room to ask her to bring me something. She reffered to me as a "lazy fat slug." I'm 38 weeks pregnant and was put on emergancy bedrest by my doctor. FML

#1475224
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62438) - you deserved it (4246)

On 04/29/2009 at 10:03pm - misc - by prego (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was snuggling with my neighbors four week old kitten while babysitting their kids. I fell asleep, rolled over, and woke up next to a dead kitten. FML

#1353969
286 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70787) - you deserved it (52638)

On 04/26/2009 at 12:45pm - misc - by Fykkhttdsetkkhvln - United States (Ohio)

Today, I had to re-take an hour long MRI scan because I got an erection midway through. FML

#1051780
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67123) - you deserved it (15745)

On 04/17/2009 at 10:14am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. He knows that I love when he breaths on my neck. When I was about to finish he put his lips a millimeter away from my neck/ear and breathed, "I love how you smell like my grandmother's house." FML

#946038
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (101351) - you deserved it (8750)

On 04/13/2009 at 8:07am - intimacy - by bodyelectric (woman) - United States

Today, I was on a small plane. A flight attendant told us that there was too much weight in the front of the plane and they needed 3 people to move to the back of the plane. I volunteer and walk to the back. She says, "Okay, we're going to need 1 more person." FML

#942565
18 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64427) - you deserved it (10526)

On 04/13/2009 at 12:39am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was waiting in the lobby of a modeling agency for my interview to be a potential model and I was next in line. They called "NEXT!" and I walked in with a smile on my face. They stared at my face for a moment and then started yelling "NEXT". FML

#922187
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52149) - you deserved it (9960)

On 04/12/2009 at 3:00am - misc - by taptheturtle (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I found out my blood type is B. My parents are type A and type O. It's not genetically possible to be blood type B if your parents are A and O. This means I am either an adoptee, a mutant, or an illegitimate child. FML

#915764
424 comments

I agree, your life sucks (163304) - you deserved it (8281)

On 04/11/2009 at 3:14pm - misc - by hedgehog5 - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I went on a date with a guy for the first time. We went to Starbucks and got coffee. We talked for a while, and we were joking and having a good time. Suddenly, he put his hand on my stomach and said, "Soon, this will be plump with my seed." FML

#836792
925 comments

I agree, your life sucks (346881) - you deserved it (38547)

On 04/06/2009 at 3:39pm - misc - by creepermagnet (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I thought I heard my little sister playing on my brand new grand piano. Angry, I ran downstairs to stop her. My parents were having sex. On my piano. FML

#800425
343 comments

I agree, your life sucks (282500) - you deserved it (19067)

On 04/04/2009 at 2:15pm - intimacy - by GuitarChick42 (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my friends were being rude to me, so I decided to be nice to a boy that didn't have many friends. While I was talking to him he popped a pimple on his face and tasted it. FML

#777672
301 comments

I agree, your life sucks (168145) - you deserved it (30013)

On 04/03/2009 at 1:16am - misc - by lalanon (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I found out that because of my high blood pressure I can't have sex for one month. My wedding is next weekend and the following two weeks are my honey moon. FML

#771915
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (234189) - you deserved it (24506)

On 04/02/2009 at 7:12pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)



FML's blog

  • Jim Trim's Illustrated FML
  • Action stations! I'm back from my holiday, I've got some sort of weirdly uneven tan and I already want to go back to the beach to bum about and finish off my colouring book. But I can't. I'm still…

Friday 29 August 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: