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Offline (the 09/12/2015 at 11:53pm)



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 4102
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About bmon : Baseball player. Living the dream. Feel free to message me.

bmon's page activity

Visits<b>cwowm</b> - the 02/19/2016 at 1:36am<b>Michelle1121</b> - the 09/08/2015 at 1:52am<b>karnnie</b> - the 09/06/2015 at 9:41pm<b>LiLMAMA0523</b> - the 08/22/2015 at 11:52am<b>softpaws</b> - the 08/10/2015 at 4:34am<b>Cynt3r</b> - the 08/09/2015 at 4:58pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 07/28/2015 at 7:42pm<b>QueenJay81</b> - the 07/14/2015 at 6:22am<b>hurtfeet</b> - the 06/28/2015 at 9:03pm<b>pleasedie</b> - the 05/22/2015 at 8:59pm<b>Dougie_Bee</b> - the 05/21/2015 at 1:49pm<b>ElleHarding2701</b> - the 05/20/2015 at 3:33am<b>andits</b> - the 05/09/2015 at 5:00am<b>auctiongirl</b> - the 04/07/2015 at 4:03pm<b>horseh</b> - the 04/05/2015 at 7:44pm<b>Tarlachia</b> - the 04/02/2015 at 2:47pm<b>BBlah</b> - the 03/04/2015 at 8:43pm<b>Lebeaugars95</b> - the 01/21/2015 at 9:20am

Fucked!<b>Michelle1121</b> - the 09/08/2015 at 7:52am<b>LiLMAMA0523</b> - the 08/22/2015 at 5:52pm<b>QueenJay81</b> - the 07/14/2015 at 12:22pm

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bmon's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to a Dodger game with my crush. Between innings, the "Kiss cam" came up on the big screen. The camera happened to land on us, and when my crush saw us on the screen, he leaned away from me and buried his face in his hands. Everyone saw, and sympathetically said "Awww." FML

by dodgerkiss / 06/10/2009 at 2:38am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my cousin and I found out that when a girl puts a flower in the right side of her hair, it means she's available. The bigger the flower, the more available she is. My eleven year old boy cousin told me to cut down a palm tree and put it in my hair. FML

by Anonymous / 06/06/2009 at 8:38pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Love

Today, I was babysitting a little boy. I opened up a new bottle of bubbles and it was all goopy and gross so I said "Eww!". The boy then asks, "What's "ew" mean?". I replied with, "Something gross and yucky". Then he pointed at my face and say "Ew! Ew! Ewwww!". FML

by EwFace / 06/06/2009 at 12:23pm / United States (New York) / Kids

Today, I had a dentist appointment. While waiting, I pulled out my Cosmo magazine to entertain myself. The woman sitting across from me points and tells me I'm reading "Satan's Manual." I told her I don't believe in Satan. She said, "You'll know he's real when you become his bitch!" FML

by satanlovesme / 05/30/2009 at 7:22pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous

Today, while the kid I was babysitting was in the bathroom, he called to me "I need some help in here." Worried I ran to the bathroom and asked him what was wrong. He needed me to wipe his butt. As if that weren't gross enough, just as my hand was under his butt, he pooped again and laughed. FML

by sdasdflkjas / 05/30/2009 at 12:24am / United States / Kids

Today, I was getting ready for my first date with a boy I really like when my dad insisted on meeting him. My dad is super protective and a cop. He cleaned his gun in front of my date and made it clear he had to be careful with me. My date started to cry when we got to the car. FML

by Anonymous / 05/28/2009 at 4:15pm / Canada (Manitoba) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend of 2 years took me to get a tattoo done with his name on. He paid for it. After it was done he told me it was over between us and he thought it'd be a nice reminder of him for me. FML

by Angelofkarma / 05/25/2009 at 2:05pm / United Kingdom (Essex) / Love

Today, I was at a party, and I sat down on a chair. While conversing with friends, I shifted places on the chair, and broke it. Embarrassed, I then stood up and change chairs. After moving to the next chair, I broke that one too. FML

by alsayslegit / 05/25/2009 at 1:44pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got a call saying that my son was chasing all the girls in the class with his "Sword of Death", otherwise known as my dildo. FML

by a / 05/21/2009 at 3:18pm / United Kingdom (Hertford) / Intimacy

Today, I was at the water park with my boyfriend. We were getting on a two-person tube slide. As I went to sit in the front I noticed the lifeguard looking me up and down, what I assumed was him checking me out. I found out I was wrong when he said, "Heaviest in back." FML

by barbie / 05/18/2009 at 1:48am / United States (Indiana) / Health

Today, I overheard my dad's friend complaining to my dad that his new baby boy is a ginger. I continued listening, and heard my dad saying, "Yeah, there's nothing worse than having a ginger." I'm his daughter. I'm a ginger. FML

by Deirbhile / 05/03/2009 at 12:40pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, my parents met my girlfriend for the first time and cooked us dinner. After, I was helping clean up in the kitchen and my dad says to me, "Don't worry, you have to slay a couple of dragons before you get to the princess." and winks at me. She heard. I was going to propose to her tonight. FML

by Anonymous / 05/03/2009 at 12:12am / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, 3 of the 4 stalls were occupied in the rest room. I took the 4th stall. Upon sitting, I let out one of the longest, loudest farts I have done in a long time. Next, I hear "Hey, how's it going?". I was CORRECTLY identified by a co-worker hearing me fart. FML

by RckRagman / 04/30/2009 at 10:55am / United States (Massachusetts) / Work

Today, I called my mom into my room to ask her to bring me something. She reffered to me as a "lazy fat slug." I'm 38 weeks pregnant and was put on emergancy bedrest by my doctor. FML

by prego / 04/29/2009 at 10:03pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was snuggling with my neighbors four week old kitten while babysitting their kids. I fell asleep, rolled over, and woke up next to a dead kitten. FML

by Fykkhttdsetkkhvln / 04/26/2009 at 12:45pm / United States (Ohio) / Animals