Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

bmon

Online | Search for a member

bmon

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2508
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About bmon : Baseball player. Living the dream. Feel free to message me.

bmon's page activity

Visits<b>hurtfeet</b> - the 06/28/2015 at 9:03pm<b>pleasedie</b> - the 05/22/2015 at 8:59pm<b>Dougie_Bee</b> - the 05/21/2015 at 1:49pm<b>ElleHarding2701</b> - the 05/20/2015 at 3:33am<b>andits</b> - the 05/09/2015 at 5:00am<b>auctiongirl</b> - the 04/07/2015 at 4:03pm<b>horseh</b> - the 04/05/2015 at 7:44pm<b>Tarlachia</b> - the 04/02/2015 at 2:47pm<b>BBlah</b> - the 03/04/2015 at 8:43pm<b>Lebeaugars95</b> - the 01/21/2015 at 9:20am<b>Georgiecan</b> - the 01/18/2015 at 5:52am<b>ProfessorMctitie</b> - the 01/16/2015 at 7:41pm<b>lovely_mess3</b> - the 01/16/2015 at 2:16am<b>angelk19</b> - the 01/16/2015 at 12:51am<b>MrsKilown</b> - the 01/10/2015 at 12:48pm<b>Queen_Bitch69</b> - the 01/04/2015 at 2:06pm<b>beffnytutt</b> - the 12/14/2014 at 12:18pm<b>OmgitsJay</b> - the 12/14/2014 at 10:44am

bmon's FML badges

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

See all of bmon's badges

bmon's favorite FMLs

Today, it was Homecoming. During the dance, I saw this mentally handicapped guy ask this pretty girl to dance. She said no. So I went over to him and asked him to dance. He replied that he only wanted to dance with "pretty girls" and I was not one. FML

#5877463
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49316) - you deserved it (4993)

On 10/18/2009 at 11:32am - misc - by omgwtf (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was walking out of class when I saw a girl enthusiastically run to her boyfriend, jump on him, and smother him with kisses. I thought to myself "I wish my girlfriend did that." When the girl jumped off and turned around I realized she did, just not to me. FML

#5689238
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56526) - you deserved it (2780)

On 10/06/2009 at 8:04pm - misc - by zitroskies (man) - United States (California)

Today, during our championship field hockey game, my mouthguard fell into a mass of geese poop. The referee made me put it back in my mouth. FML

#5451406
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48819) - you deserved it (4249)

On 09/24/2009 at 6:10pm - work - by ewewew (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I met my boyfriend's mother for the first time. She greeted us holding a baby, and I told her how cute her son was. She told me that it was her grandson. Turns out my boyfriend is the father. We're 16. FML

#5106151
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53034) - you deserved it (3952)

On 09/07/2009 at 2:22pm - misc - by Notyourstepmom - United States (Nevada)

Today, I took a look at my boyfriend's videocamera. On it were several videos of me on the toilet. My boyfriend has been hiding the videocamera in the bathroom airvent, and taping me taking dumps for the past three months. FML

#5097909
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (73235) - you deserved it (4424)

On 09/07/2009 at 2:05am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend getting it on with the neighbour's daughter. As soon as he saw me, he started singing 'It Wasn't Me' by Shaggy, completely naked, still sitting with the girl. FML

#4933603
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56235) - you deserved it (4499)

On 08/30/2009 at 5:26pm - love - by shaggy (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend getting it on with the neighbour's daughter. As soon as he saw me, he started singing 'It Wasn't Me' by Shaggy, completely naked, still sitting with the girl. FML

#4933603
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56235) - you deserved it (4499)

On 08/30/2009 at 5:26pm - love - by shaggy (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my mom explained to me that looking up gay porn on the internet is bad. I didn't look up gay porn. The only other person who uses the laptop is my dad. I couldn't tell her the truth and had to pretend I enjoy gay fanfiction. FML

#4645462
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55764) - you deserved it (5016)

On 08/19/2009 at 12:41am - misc - by weeks (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was at my school's spaghetti dinner with my family. My brother shook up my mom's soda, as a prank. My entire class witnessed my mom waving around an overflowing Diet Coke while my dad yelled, "Come on, put your mouth on it! Suck it! Suck it, Kathy!" FML

#4630669
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (120566) - you deserved it (9160)

On 08/18/2009 at 3:20pm - misc - by gbhlaughingstock (man) - United States

Today, my girlfriend named my penis "little baby carrot." FML

#4572721
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59886) - you deserved it (10330)

On 08/16/2009 at 1:14pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I found out that my parents are first cousins. FML

#4539697
331 comments

I agree, your life sucks (125817) - you deserved it (6540)

On 08/15/2009 at 12:33am - misc - by jellybean_94 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found out that I was adopted, now my gay brother thinks it's acceptable to tell me that he's always wanted to have sex with me. FML

#4488799
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (102873) - you deserved it (5148)

On 08/12/2009 at 11:13pm - intimacy - by JPF (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I found out that not only has my father been cheating on my mother with another woman, but they have a child together with the same name as me. FML

Today, I ran into my new apartment neighbor. She said she could hear me and my girlfriend having wild sex last night. She told me she had always wanted to have a threesome. My new neighbor is as old as my grandma, and even resembles her. I politely declined. FML

#4384243
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49517) - you deserved it (5455)

On 08/08/2009 at 12:31pm - intimacy - by pear8head (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I was peeing in a urinal at a bar. A drunk guy comes in, and seeing no urinals open, he decides to pee between my legs from behind me. He didn't have good aim. FML

#4081805
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63738) - you deserved it (3256)

On 07/27/2009 at 3:07pm - misc - by webperson04 (man) - United States (Louisiana)



FML's blog

  • Angie's illustrated FML
  • Here we go again. This week I'm talking to you live from the Paris Japan Expo. I'm dressed up as Bernard from the Sailor Moon series, and I almost got kicked out because my katana wasn't the…

Friday 3 July 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: