Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

bmon

Online | Search for a member

bmon

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2065
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About bmon : Baseball player. Living the dream. Feel free to message me.

bmon's page activity

Visits<b>BBlah</b> - the 03/04/2015 at 8:43pm<b>Lebeaugars95</b> - the 01/21/2015 at 9:20am<b>Georgiecan</b> - the 01/18/2015 at 5:52am<b>ProfessorMctitie</b> - the 01/16/2015 at 7:41pm<b>lovely_mess3</b> - the 01/16/2015 at 2:16am<b>angelk19</b> - the 01/16/2015 at 12:51am<b>MrsKilown</b> - the 01/10/2015 at 12:48pm<b>Queen_Bitch69</b> - the 01/04/2015 at 2:06pm<b>beffnytutt</b> - the 12/14/2014 at 12:18pm<b>OmgitsJay</b> - the 12/14/2014 at 10:44am<b>Ltsdragons</b> - the 12/01/2014 at 9:08pm<b>butlins11</b> - the 11/23/2014 at 4:22pm<b>blondeamazonian</b> - the 11/17/2014 at 12:21am<b>foxwasalamb</b> - the 11/16/2014 at 10:14pm<b>qwertsarecool122</b> - the 11/15/2014 at 10:41pm<b>devildog562</b> - the 11/10/2014 at 1:39am<b>Miss_Blondie44</b> - the 11/05/2014 at 10:05am<b>auctiongirl</b> - the 11/04/2014 at 12:15pm

bmon's FML badges

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

See all of bmon's badges

bmon's favorite FMLs

Today, I was having a debate with my friend over tattoos. I used the example that you wouldn't put a bumper sticker on a Ferrari. He looked me in the eye and said, "Yeah, but you're no Ferrari. More like a Prius." FML

#19801481
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10605) - you deserved it (23231)

On 06/17/2012 at 1:01pm - misc - by kitty shah - United States

Today, while I was driving home, some jackass in an open-top sports car overtook us and flipped me off. Just as I overtook him in turn, my wife rolled down her window, pulled out her tampon, and launched it at the kid. I'm not sure who was more horrified: me or him. FML

#19793582
405 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37433) - you deserved it (4026)

On 06/15/2012 at 6:13pm - misc - by 16590 (man) - Sweden

Today, I went to see a movie with my girlfriend and a few others. Mid-way through, I noticed my girlfriend giving a hand-job to my best friend. I couldn't believe my eyes, and I confronted them. He claimed he had been asleep, she claimed she was mopping up a spill, and I'm now single again. FML

#19788440
288 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49950) - you deserved it (3375)

On 06/14/2012 at 6:51pm - intimacy - by aranya (man) - Netherlands (Overijssel)

Today, my brother and I proposed to our girlfriends at the same time. We had perfect synchronization after practicing for days. My brother's girlfriend said yes, mine said no. FML

#18552373
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51321) - you deserved it (4995)

On 12/19/2011 at 10:40am - love - by emmmbo - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I dressed up as Santa Claus for my employees' children. After seeing all the others, my daughter's turn arrived. She sat on my lap, put her lips to my ear, and whispered softly: "I want a new dad." FML

#18418543
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57132) - you deserved it (5698) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 12/03/2011 at 11:24am - kids - by perenoel - France

Today, my eleven year old sister came in, and bitched to me and my boyfriend about how she was going to tell my mom about the used condom she found. My boyfriend punched her in the face. FML

#18022495
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52095) - you deserved it (16618)

On 10/19/2011 at 10:37am - intimacy - by lolilovemyboyfriend (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my 28-year-old brother who has been pranking me all my life, put a chocolate cupcake on my chair. I sat on it, with my white dress. On my wedding day. FML

#18004959
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66752) - you deserved it (4040)

On 10/17/2011 at 4:39am - misc - by cupcake_butt - United States

Today, my brother in law got into a fight with my husband. My pregnant sister was yelling at her husband to stop beating my husband up. When I came into the room, I asked why they were fighting. You'll never guess who the real father of my sister's baby is. FML

#17977094
274 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64382) - you deserved it (3208)

On 10/13/2011 at 7:20pm - love - by Good sister (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, on my way home, my girlfriend started sexting me, telling me that she was waiting at my house. In my rush to get home to see her, I got pulled over and had to be patted down. He found no weapons, but he did find my stiffy. FML

#17906295
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36317) - you deserved it (11001)

On 10/04/2011 at 8:02pm - intimacy - by Username - United States

Today, I caught my boyfriend of two years cheating on me. Instead of the usual excuses, he panicked and claimed he was my boyfriend's long-lost twin brother. He even tried to put on a fake accent. FML

#17779668
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38549) - you deserved it (3359)

On 09/19/2011 at 10:26am - love - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I found out apparently, I have a weird looking vagina. How? My boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. He took one look at my vagina and with a look of horror said, "I have never seen one this GROSS." He's a gynecologist and probably sees 20 vaginas a day. FML

#17536285
469 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58354) - you deserved it (7195)

On 08/21/2011 at 5:59am - intimacy - by Username - United States (Ohio)

Today, I discovered the reason my favorite stick of deodorant hasn't smelled right for the past two weeks. My dad uses it on his butt crack and balls "to clean up the stank". FML

#17404409
289 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52681) - you deserved it (3509)

On 08/08/2011 at 3:16am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, after being in love with one of my best friends for ages, he took me on a date. We then went back to his place and we made love. Afterwards, he told me he wanted to show me something and led me outside. He ran back in and locked the door. It's a two hour walk home. FML

#17174791
323 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52645) - you deserved it (6716)

On 07/19/2011 at 7:04am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia

Today, I had to bail my dad out of jail, for beating up my boyfriend, for sleeping with my mom. FML

#17089969
513 comments

I agree, your life sucks (133501) - you deserved it (7381)

On 07/13/2011 at 2:32am - intimacy - by whyme102008 - United States (Texas)

Today, I realized that my pubes are longer than my penis itself. FML

#16181302
345 comments

I agree, your life sucks (77207) - you deserved it (23712)

On 05/15/2011 at 12:41am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States



Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Sophie Marie's illustrated FML
  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: