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bmon

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bmon

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2361
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About bmon : Baseball player. Living the dream. Feel free to message me.

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bmon's favorite FMLs

Today, I gave birth to my daughter in a hospital corridor. The nurse who took me to my room afterward tried to comfort me by saying there've been worse incidents; she said that two years ago, a lady gave birth in the parking lot. That was me too. FML

#20521872
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57118) - you deserved it (4610) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 02/25/2013 at 2:47pm - health - by laprochainefoisjerestealamaison (woman) - France (Languedoc-Roussillon)

Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. As I shook her father's hand, he squeezed with an ungodly amount of force, leaned in with a smile, and murmured that my balls will be the next thing he'll crush if his daughter ever complains about me. FML

#20511181
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34191) - you deserved it (5299)

On 02/17/2013 at 7:11pm - love - by daniel55 (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, during my first day as a medical intern in a new ward, I was performing a rectal exam. My supervisor thought it would be funny to burst into the room and scream, "Who are you?! You don't even work here, you pervert!" FML

#20486562
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47939) - you deserved it (3578) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/30/2013 at 4:57pm - love - by dr mamour - Sent from mobile version

Today, I held a door open for a sweet old lady with a walker. After she went through the door, she turned and said, "That's not how you're gonna get into my pants, son." FML

#20466086
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35664) - you deserved it (3713)

On 01/18/2013 at 10:25am - misc - by Keastwood013 - United States

Today, I was cleaning one of my disabled clients because he pooped himself, so I started to undress him for a shower. I took his dirty diaper off and set it on his bed, then I bent over to take off his socks at which point he put the diaper on my head like a hat. FML

#20438439
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51249) - you deserved it (4736)

On 01/02/2013 at 10:49am - work - by habassistant - United States (Ohio)

Today, I can hear my flatmate masturbating loudly and asking himself if he likes it. And replying. FML

#20436012
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52689) - you deserved it (3983)

On 01/01/2013 at 10:20am - intimacy - by ashbeat - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was sleeping on an airplane. I dreamed that I was running my hands up and down my friend's leg sexually to creep him out. I woke up and I realized that I was running my hand up and down the leg of the old man sitting next to me. FML

#20408734
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38367) - you deserved it (23253)

On 12/20/2012 at 9:49am - intimacy - by joyness (woman) - Taiwan (T'ai-pei)

Today, my daughter had the words "Always classy, never trashy" tattooed across her lower back in crappy cursive lettering. She doesn't understand the irony. FML

#20400337
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31935) - you deserved it (3336)

On 12/15/2012 at 3:08am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my daughter finally gave birth to twin boys. She informed me that she named them Peregrin Took and Meriadoc Brandybuck. My grandsons are named after Hobbits. FML

#20194616
259 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28482) - you deserved it (5390)

On 12/06/2012 at 11:49pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I was handing candy to a little boy who was trick or treating by himself. He was small enough to grab the candy and run past me into my house. I've been searching my house for two hours and still can't find him. I'm afraid to go to sleep. FML

#20142294
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34972) - you deserved it (2513)

On 10/31/2012 at 11:04pm - kids - by ananymous - United States (New York)

Today, a guy I've been seeing for a while sent me a link to a porn site, with the message, "Holy fuck, isn't this your mom?!" Thinking he was joking around, I clicked the link just to see what sick shit he wanted to show me. It was my mom. FML

#20079475
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62491) - you deserved it (3311)

On 09/19/2012 at 4:41pm - intimacy - by identitychangeplease - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, my boyfriend tried to spice things up by sneaking into the shower with me. Instead, he walked in on me pooping. I only had the shower running because I was afraid he would hear me taking a dump. FML

#20071482
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15708) - you deserved it (26076)

On 09/14/2012 at 10:50am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, after my boyfriend and I had gotten frisky last night, I found a note on the front door of my building that read, "Dear girl in apartment 3D, from now on please close the blinds all the way or lose 30 pounds. Either would be acceptable." FML

#20012782
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32197) - you deserved it (17140)

On 08/10/2012 at 1:29am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Europe

Today, I told my son to go clean his mess of a room. He yelled, "Dobby has no master! Dobby is a free elf!" and walked off. He turned 18 a week ago. FML

#19983117
323 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27706) - you deserved it (12817)

On 07/25/2012 at 6:54am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, while cashiering at the drug store, I saw my ex-boyfriend, who I'm still completely in love with. Being the only cashier, I had to ring him up. He was buying condoms. FML

#19853920
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35451) - you deserved it (3051)

On 06/27/2012 at 1:05am - love - by tammy (woman) - United States (California)



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