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bmon

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bmon

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2373
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About bmon : Baseball player. Living the dream. Feel free to message me.

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Visits<b>pleasedie</b> - the 05/22/2015 at 8:59pm<b>Dougie_Bee</b> - the 05/21/2015 at 1:49pm<b>ElleHarding2701</b> - the 05/20/2015 at 3:33am<b>andits</b> - the 05/09/2015 at 5:00am<b>auctiongirl</b> - the 04/07/2015 at 4:03pm<b>horseh</b> - the 04/05/2015 at 7:44pm<b>Tarlachia</b> - the 04/02/2015 at 2:47pm<b>BBlah</b> - the 03/04/2015 at 8:43pm<b>Lebeaugars95</b> - the 01/21/2015 at 9:20am<b>Georgiecan</b> - the 01/18/2015 at 5:52am<b>ProfessorMctitie</b> - the 01/16/2015 at 7:41pm<b>lovely_mess3</b> - the 01/16/2015 at 2:16am<b>angelk19</b> - the 01/16/2015 at 12:51am<b>MrsKilown</b> - the 01/10/2015 at 12:48pm<b>Queen_Bitch69</b> - the 01/04/2015 at 2:06pm<b>beffnytutt</b> - the 12/14/2014 at 12:18pm<b>OmgitsJay</b> - the 12/14/2014 at 10:44am<b>Ltsdragons</b> - the 12/01/2014 at 9:08pm

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bmon's favorite FMLs

Today, while having sex with my husband, he accidentally elbowed me in the face. I don't know which is worse: that he didn't stop to see if I was OK, or that it seemed to turn him on and he climaxed immediately after he'd hit me. FML

#20736775
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55759) - you deserved it (5501)

On 06/20/2013 at 4:47am - intimacy - by naughtymommy0317 (woman) - United States

Today, I accidentally hit a cyclist with my car. In panic, I jumped out of my car and ran up to him, who was lying on the floor, motionless. As I was about to check his pulse, he jumped up and shouted, "I bet you thought I was dead, asshole!" He then punched me in the face and cycled off. FML

#20688904
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50937) - you deserved it (23630)

On 05/27/2013 at 7:19am - misc - by i hit a cyclist (man) - United Kingdom (Nottingham)

Today, I finally scored a goal in a soccer game. Too bad it was in our own net. FML

#20681164
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28342) - you deserved it (35740)

On 05/23/2013 at 1:55am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I got a mosquito bite on my chest. Due to a severe allergic reaction it has swollen my left breast a cup size. The first thing my boyfriend said was, "Hey look! I can finally see one of them." FML

#20667435
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61384) - you deserved it (6018)

On 05/16/2013 at 5:36pm - intimacy - by Urgghh (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I went into the men's restroom and started peeing in a urinal next to a middle-age man. As he zipped up and walked away, he said to me, "Don't worry, it'll grow." FML

#20663182
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42059) - you deserved it (4075)

On 05/14/2013 at 4:09pm - health - by DrewK (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my dad sat me down for the sex talk, except it wasn't really a talk, but rather him making me watch a hardcore porn video with him as he commented on what the actors were doing. I had to listen to all this and ignore his obvious erection for almost an hour. FML

#20660939
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (79834) - you deserved it (5507)

On 05/13/2013 at 3:10pm - intimacy - by more than I wanted to know (man) - Italy (Emilia-Romagna)

Today, my wife shaved her pubic hair so that it resembles Hitler's mustache. She won't stop referring to it as "the Clitler". FML

#20637691
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60663) - you deserved it (9164)

On 05/02/2013 at 8:50pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, it's my wedding day. I have a cold sore that makes me look like The Joker. Make-up won't cover it and the emergency medicine my doctor gave me only irritates it more. My future husband asks, "Why so serious?" and laughs whenever he sees me. Fantastic. FML

#20633099
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43456) - you deserved it (3664)

On 04/30/2013 at 5:26pm - misc - by sharibaby (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was making out with my girlfriend for the first time, and she reached down to feel me up. When her hands got there, she stopped and said, "You're not even hard..." I was. FML

#20618445
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (77718) - you deserved it (9358)

On 04/24/2013 at 2:56pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was about to break up with my psycho girlfriend. As I sat her down, she told me she wanted to show me something. She then took off her shirt to reveal my name tattooed across her chest. FML

#20595753
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69760) - you deserved it (7375)

On 04/16/2013 at 3:23am - love - by guess I'm stuck - United States (California)

Today, I went out to a restaurant to meet a girl that I met online. When I arrived I texted her and she said she was wearing a blue shirt. The only person that was wearing anything blue was a fat man smiling in the corner. FML

#20552465
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36895) - you deserved it (9773)

On 03/20/2013 at 5:16pm - misc - by bobthenun - United States (California)

Today, I met my mom's fiancé. He's a nice guy, he's also my wife's dad. I'll soon call my wife my sister. FML

#20544337
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47417) - you deserved it (3013)

On 03/15/2013 at 1:31am - misc - by guy - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was helping my father-in-law out at a family barbecue. Somehow, the topic turned to grand-children, at which point I confessed that my wife has been having trouble conceiving. His response was to boom: "Sure you've been putting it in the right hole, son?!" FML

#20541069
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34658) - you deserved it (4472)

On 03/12/2013 at 6:43pm - kids - by um... maybe (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I had to help my little sister do a first-grade project for school. For one part, they have to draw a picture of their role model. She drew a whale, and I asked, "A whale is your role model?" She laughed and said, "No! It's you!" FML

#20532338
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36962) - you deserved it (5559)

On 03/05/2013 at 3:19pm - kids - by peace out - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I went to my daughter's room with clean laundry. I found her lying on her bed with a hand down her pants, totally zoned out and staring blankly at the Justin Bieber poster on her wall. FML

#20529387
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45426) - you deserved it (6879)

On 03/03/2013 at 12:03pm - misc - by parental failure (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)



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  • It's the weekend so let's plaster on a fake smile and plough through this shit one more time. Sorry, I was channelling Bill Hicks there. I'll start again. Hi everyone, how are you doing? This week…

Friday 29 May 2015

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