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bmba94

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bmba94
  • Town/Country : Brampton, Canada
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 10 September 1994 (19 years)
  • Number of visits : 1869
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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bmba94's favorite FMLs

Today, at my wedding, my husband stood up to give a speech. It started out beautiful, until he told everyone how he started to fall in love with me after I blew him on our first date. FML

#21118892
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35393) - you deserved it (7548)

On 04/21/2014 at 11:43am - intimacy - by Sue Ellen (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, my boyfriend drove 20 miles to come see me. The closest we got to intimacy was him showing me how he could unlock his iPhone 5s with his penis. FML

#21118643
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32954) - you deserved it (4475)

On 04/21/2014 at 12:04am - intimacy - by Taylor - United States (Iowa)

Today, at a big Easter egg hunt, the kids found a wild bunny. Everyone smiled and "aww"ed, until my dog caught and ate it in front everyone. FML

#21118358
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34470) - you deserved it (3954)

On 04/20/2014 at 7:24pm - animals - by BetterThanChocolate (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I found out that even though my girlfriend of 3 years believes sex before marriage or even me just jacking off is a big no, doing online strip-shows for money is a big yes for her. Both times that I've proposed, she claimed she isn't "ready" for marriage. FML

#21118108
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34823) - you deserved it (6596)

On 04/20/2014 at 1:58pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Wigan)

Today, my dad made me stick my gut out and walk around awkwardly, just so I'd look pregnant and let him get away with parking in an "expectant mothers" parking spot. FML

#21118067
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32271) - you deserved it (3543)

On 04/20/2014 at 1:21pm - misc - by Not-pregnant (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my guide dog sneezed so hard that it slammed its head on the floor and knocked itself out. I have to trust this dog with my life. FML

#21117679
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40567) - you deserved it (3595)

On 04/20/2014 at 12:03am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Idaho)

Today, I walked in on my brother shaving his nuts, all while giggling like a maniac and seemingly high out of his mind. FML

#21117346
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34548) - you deserved it (4161)

On 04/19/2014 at 5:26pm - misc - by burnmyeyes (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my parents made a game out of deliberately walking in when I'm trying to masturbate. They even turn on all the hot water taps when I'm trying to do it in the shower. FML

#21115891
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37001) - you deserved it (13631)

On 04/17/2014 at 10:55pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my ex-husband came to pick up our two kids for his weekend with them. Seeing his new girlfriend was in the car, and desperate for conversation, I asked her name. My kids unhesitatingly blurted out, "Mom". FML

#21115862
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43600) - you deserved it (4039)

On 04/17/2014 at 10:31pm - kids - by mommy (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex and in the heat of the moment I cried out for him to go harder. He had an exasperated expression on his face, and in an adamantly offended tone he said, "Don't tell me what to do." Then he stopped and left the room. FML

#21115855
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41277) - you deserved it (5181)

On 04/17/2014 at 10:27pm - intimacy - by belljars (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had my teacher look over my essay before turning it in. He said it was extremely well-written, so I handed it in. When I got it back, the feedback he left said it was one of the worst essays he'd ever read. FML

#21115571
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43083) - you deserved it (3630)

On 04/17/2014 at 3:59pm - work - by badessaymyass (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I had my first car crash. I ran into a parked car and the owner saw it happen. I then accidentally opened my door straight into her car as well when I went to give her my information. FML

#21115410
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31851) - you deserved it (9101)

On 04/17/2014 at 12:01pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, I went to a restaurant for a friend's birthday. There were two very attractive waiters. They waited until I went to the toilet to sit down, talk to my friends and hit on them. They promptly left upon my return. Men avoid me. FML

Today, one of my most problematic students remained after class, whence he strongly insinuated his interest in receiving oral sex; I tried to convey just how inappropriate that was, when he interrupted, "Look, will you at least touch it?" FML

#21114779
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42915) - you deserved it (3776)

On 04/16/2014 at 6:03pm - intimacy - by MILF (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was eating an apple in class. When I went to take a big bite, my teeth went right through the apple, causing me to scrape the apple right up my face. My nose then started to bleed. I'm now known as the girl who punched herself in the face with an apple. FML

#21114169
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35926) - you deserved it (6222)

On 04/15/2014 at 10:48pm - health - by Nose bleed - Canada (British Columbia)



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