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bmba94

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bmba94

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bmba94
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 10 September 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 4092
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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bmba94's page activity

Visits<b>abattior</b> - the 10/17/2014 at 5:09am<b>DreamBigDollFace</b> - the 10/17/2014 at 3:05am<b>SingingWolf</b> - the 10/17/2014 at 2:40am<b>tea_brewer</b> - the 10/16/2014 at 12:56am<b>daffyduck16</b> - the 10/14/2014 at 9:22am<b>chilldude69</b> - the 06/12/2014 at 10:44am<b>jelly_rolls</b> - the 05/27/2014 at 2:48am<b>samraae</b> - the 05/26/2014 at 1:41am<b>Federgirl</b> - the 04/27/2014 at 5:37pm<b>Superdouchebag</b> - the 04/07/2014 at 12:59pm<b>pureportedpear</b> - the 04/07/2014 at 11:53am<b>izzybd</b> - the 03/27/2014 at 6:35pm<b>MichelleRuzicka</b> - the 03/24/2014 at 7:56pm<b>atl904</b> - the 03/24/2014 at 1:21am<b>Bree_mode</b> - the 03/23/2014 at 3:29pm<b>jaffvis</b> - the 03/23/2014 at 1:36pm<b>Mfroz</b> - the 03/21/2014 at 6:59pm<b>jazzybrar</b> - the 03/17/2014 at 4:53pm

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bmba94's favorite FMLs

Today, I started my job selling perfume in a department store. I decided to be creative and sprayed a little perfume towards the first person who walked by. She had an allergic reaction, and an ambulance had to be called. FML

#21281002
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15385) - you deserved it (30571)

On 10/19/2014 at 10:24am - work - by Anonymous - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, I gave birth to my first child. The first thing my husband says? "When can I hit it again, doc?" FML

#21280942
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27313) - you deserved it (3441)

On 10/19/2014 at 7:22am - kids - by how about never? (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I tried to propose to my girlfriend, but I was so nervous that I had a panic attack, fainted and split my head open. My girlfriend then fainted at the sight of the blood. An onlooker had to call an ambulance for both of us. FML

#21280696
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28671) - you deserved it (2890)

On 10/18/2014 at 9:23pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I laughed at my grandma's chihuahua poodle mix, as it barked at me entering the house. "What are you going to do, nibble me to death?" is apparently enough to make it jump and bite me. I needed five stitches. FML

#21280619
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23996) - you deserved it (9379)

On 10/18/2014 at 7:05pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend jerking off to what I thought was porn on his phone. He was actually beating it to Siri's voice. FML

#21280577
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28029) - you deserved it (2801)

On 10/18/2014 at 5:43pm - intimacy - by fizzie101 - United States (California)

Today, my 9-year-old daughter was acting out and wouldn't do her homework. I told her that if she didn't study, she wouldn't get her acceptance letter from Hogwarts. She looked into my eyes, straight through to my soul and said, "Hogwarts isn't real, retard." FML

#21280509
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28720) - you deserved it (9933)

On 10/18/2014 at 3:29pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I confronted my girlfriend after catching her cheating on me. After she finished crying, she had the brass balls to say she'd understand if I needed a couple of weeks to forgive her, and asked me for bus fare so she could go tell the other guy they could only be friends now. FML

#21280490
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31005) - you deserved it (2643)

On 10/18/2014 at 2:44pm - love - by yee-whore (man) - United States (Vermont)

Today, my psycho mom walked in while I was chilling and having fun with some friends. She kicked them out and now wants to drug test me, because "Nobody's that happy without drugs". FML

#21280487
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33016) - you deserved it (2361)

On 10/18/2014 at 2:33pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I was at a football game with my boyfriend. I said my hands were getting cold, hoping he'd hold them. He replied, "Uh, they make pockets for a reason..." and physically showed me how to put my hands in my pockets. FML

#21280399
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28464) - you deserved it (5835)

On 10/18/2014 at 10:53am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, I sent my fiancé a sexy picture while I was at work. I never got a response from him, so I gave him a call after a while. His 9-year-old son answered. Apparently he was getting a haircut at the time. FML

#21280130
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26050) - you deserved it (7236)

On 10/17/2014 at 10:23pm - intimacy - by melissa1028 (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend tried to rid me of my hiccups. As he'd screamed at me and I'd pissed my pants, I just burst into tears. FML

#21279967
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26018) - you deserved it (3096)

On 10/17/2014 at 4:12pm - health - by catt - Germany (Berlin)

Today, I climbed onto my boyfriend's lap and sexily told him "It's getting hot in here," and started unbuttoning my shirt. He said "Oh," pushed me off him, and went to turn the ceiling fan on. FML

#21279866
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33492) - you deserved it (4749)

On 10/17/2014 at 2:29pm - intimacy - by gettinghotinhere - United States (California)

Today, while out for dinner with my parents, a woman, approximately the same age as my mother, repeatedly propositioned me for sex during the course of my meal. After declining firmly several times, she only stopped after my mother convinced her I was gay. FML

#21279658
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32032) - you deserved it (2812)

On 10/17/2014 at 6:13am - intimacy - by Anonymous - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, my dad told me someday I'll find a man who wants a nice lumberjack for a wife. FML

#21279635
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28489) - you deserved it (2860)

On 10/17/2014 at 4:14am - love - by axewoman -

Today, my boyfriend gave his penis a high five for not getting me pregnant. He does this every time I get my period. Every. Single. Time. FML

#21279390
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33769) - you deserved it (5456)

On 10/16/2014 at 9:27pm - love - by highfive - United States (Massachusetts)



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