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bmba94

Offline (the 08/21/2014 at 12:32am) | Search for a member

bmba94

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 10 September 1994 (19 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3300
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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bmba94's page activity

Visits<b>chilldude69</b> - the 06/12/2014 at 10:44am<b>jelly_rolls</b> - the 05/27/2014 at 2:48am<b>samraae</b> - the 05/26/2014 at 1:41am<b>daffyduck16</b> - the 05/20/2014 at 11:28pm<b>Federgirl</b> - the 04/27/2014 at 5:37pm<b>Superdouchebag</b> - the 04/07/2014 at 12:59pm<b>pureportedpear</b> - the 04/07/2014 at 11:53am<b>izzybd</b> - the 03/27/2014 at 6:35pm<b>MichelleRuzicka</b> - the 03/24/2014 at 7:56pm<b>atl904</b> - the 03/24/2014 at 1:21am<b>Bree_mode</b> - the 03/23/2014 at 3:29pm<b>jaffvis</b> - the 03/23/2014 at 1:36pm<b>Mfroz</b> - the 03/21/2014 at 6:59pm<b>jazzybrar</b> - the 03/17/2014 at 4:53pm<b>jumper77</b> - the 02/28/2014 at 8:20am<b>DimiAmphetamine</b> - the 02/25/2014 at 5:08pm<b>SweetSwede</b> - the 02/23/2014 at 4:30am<b>Owlnight321</b> - the 02/17/2014 at 11:41pm

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bmba94's favorite FMLs

Today, I was hammered, and on my way home I walked into a policeman. My logic was: if I'm on the phone, he can't talk to me, so I pulled my phone out and started speaking. The officer then asked me why I was speaking to my wallet. FML

#21240900
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21527) - you deserved it (40312)

On 08/19/2014 at 9:37am - misc - by drunk under 18 teenager (man) - Morocco (Marrakech-Tensift-Al Haouz)

Today, I went to a baseball game with my girlfriend's dad. I got a boner when they sang the anthem, because that's what I sing in my head when having sex with his daughter so I last longer. FML

#21240482
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37994) - you deserved it (13607)

On 08/18/2014 at 12:39pm - intimacy - by embarrassed - United States (New York)

Today, a few minutes after giving birth to our fourth child, my wife pulled me close and whispered, "I love you, but if you ever put me through that again I'll rip your balls off." Everyone laughed. FML

#21239517
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39197) - you deserved it (12508)

On 08/17/2014 at 2:15am - kids - by you ripped them off ages ago (man) - United Kingdom (Derby)

Today, while I was at the dentist, I couldn't stop gagging when he tried to put a tab in my mouth to get an x-ray. As I left, I overheard him saying, "I feel sorry for her boyfriend." FML

#21238932
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42723) - you deserved it (7027)

On 08/16/2014 at 12:03pm - intimacy - by gag reflex - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I found out my girlfriend has been cheating on me. When I told my sister, she just smiled, held up a closed fist, and said "Look at the number of fucks I give!" She then raised a finger, said "Oops. Finger spasm!" then lowered it again. FML

#21238375
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40506) - you deserved it (4061)

On 08/15/2014 at 6:09pm - love - by meltdowninrels (man) - New Zealand (Wellington)

Today, I found out that my doctor wasn't kidding when he said "sudden diarrhea may occur" with my new medication. I learned this while walking my dog a mile away from my house. FML

Today, while on a tour bus, our guide told us that "Jimi Hendrix was like, uh, the Miley Cyrus of the '60s." I'm actually a committed pacifist, but I was already halfway out of my seat to choke the pimply-faced twat out before I managed to restrain myself. Now I'm scared of myself. FML

#21237562
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34037) - you deserved it (4954)

On 08/14/2014 at 5:13pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my older brother managed to convince my younger sister that she's actually a boy, and that she'll soon be getting a penis in the mail, which she excitedly told everyone she could. He convinced me of the exact same thing as well several years ago. FML

#21174074
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43634) - you deserved it (6282)

On 06/14/2014 at 2:42am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, I was out shopping with my mom. While we were walking, a guy in a car honked at me. I'm not used to compliments, so I was pretty flattered and flashed him a smile. He looked back at me, confused, then shook his head and pointed at my mom. FML

#21173638
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41661) - you deserved it (5411)

On 06/13/2014 at 7:36pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my dad called me into the bathroom, saying "Get a load of this shit, son" and forcing me to look at the biggest, foulest-smelling turd I have ever seen in my life in the toilet. It's been three hours and I still feel physically ill. FML

#21173465
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41735) - you deserved it (5301)

On 06/13/2014 at 4:17pm - health - by green and not with envy (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I took a look at my 9-year-old daughter's diary, thinking it would be full of cute stuff. Instead, it was full of hateful rants against me and my husband, as well the boys at her school, who she called gay because none of them ever hit on her. It seems I've failed as a parent. FML

#21171186
259 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44253) - you deserved it (17901)

On 06/11/2014 at 5:38pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was really hungry at work, and my stomach growled loudly. One of my co-workers heard it and thought it was a cat. Ashamed, I played dumb and we ended up spending twenty minutes looking for a cat that I knew didn't exist. FML

#21170120
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39979) - you deserved it (17448)

On 06/10/2014 at 9:01pm - animals - by imalosertho (woman) - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, I had to go to the police station after my son got arrested for shoplifting 15 packs of gum. He got away with it at first, but got busted when he tried to return it all because he "didn't like the flavor". FML

#21170087
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49244) - you deserved it (8214)

On 06/10/2014 at 8:39pm - kids - by idiotson - United States (New York)

Today, I sent my girlfriend a request to confirm our relationship on Facebook. She accepted, then changed her screen name into "His Hand". FML

#21169063
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50442) - you deserved it (10885)

On 06/10/2014 at 12:02am - love - by MiserableMan (man) - Vietnam (Ho Chi Minh)

Today, my husband and I put our children to bed a little earlier than usual, so we could have some sexy time. Immediately following my full-blown orgasm, I rolled over, only to see my wide-eyed son peeking over the top of the mattress. FML

#21133668
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58825) - you deserved it (13105)

On 05/07/2014 at 10:31pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)



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