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bmba94

Offline (the 05/17/2015 at 8:40pm) | Search for a member

bmba94

3Fucked!

bmba94
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 10 September 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 10052
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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bmba94's page activity

Visits<b>Mae342</b> - the 05/07/2015 at 1:55am<b>NozomiTojo</b> - the 05/06/2015 at 2:37pm<b>XxNekoLovexX</b> - the 05/01/2015 at 5:23pm<b>Krystal3408</b> - the 04/27/2015 at 4:01pm<b>toshaleigh</b> - the 04/17/2015 at 1:50pm<b>SadSouthernBell</b> - the 04/17/2015 at 1:45pm<b>tamesenicole</b> - the 04/08/2015 at 10:31pm<b>the_aspect</b> - the 04/04/2015 at 10:45pm<b>dariboy</b> - the 04/04/2015 at 6:41pm<b>FrontRowSquad</b> - the 04/04/2015 at 6:14pm<b>mif</b> - the 03/30/2015 at 10:39pm<b>purpleturtle16</b> - the 03/21/2015 at 7:32am<b>Yarecho</b> - the 03/18/2015 at 5:40pm<b>Scheffy213</b> - the 03/08/2015 at 11:24pm<b>MissEris</b> - the 03/08/2015 at 3:41am<b>sweatynate</b> - the 03/06/2015 at 2:01pm<b>NeyNeyDaDa</b> - the 03/06/2015 at 1:20pm<b>honeymoonroyale</b> - the 03/06/2015 at 12:02am

Fucked!<b>Mae342</b> - the 05/07/2015 at 7:55am<b>Krystal3408</b> - the 04/27/2015 at 10:01pm<b>BloodyDemon</b> - the 01/25/2015 at 4:41am

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bmba94's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to a domestic violence counseling group. I was the only male there, and I explained that my girlfriend punches me in the face in front of my kids. Everyone started laughing. FML

Today, my boyfriend decided to suddenly stop in the middle of sex, just as I was actually starting to enjoy myself, just to bear hug me and exclaim, "Crikey, she's angry!" in the voice of Steve Irwin. He laughed so hard at his own joke that he went soft and couldn't continue. FML

#21410853
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28668) - you deserved it (2725)

On 05/16/2015 at 5:11am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Aberdeen City)

Today, I was supporting my aunt as she gave birth. She was getting tired during the pushing stage, so I tried to encourage her by making a show of pushing as well with each contraction. I got a little too into it and accidentally gave birth to a little turd of my own. FML

Today, my 14-year-old daughter told me she's pregnant and plans on dropping out of school to live a life on the road with her boyfriend. FML

#21410693
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37502) - you deserved it (6250)

On 05/15/2015 at 8:50pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I came home to find my dad drinking. Trying to be cheerful, I greeted him with a "Hi, dad!" He sighed, shook his head, and said "It hurts me when you call me that." FML

#21410667
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29669) - you deserved it (1992)

On 05/15/2015 at 7:55pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my drunk boyfriend decided to wake me up by fingering me. Let's just say going to the ER to get your tampon dug out isn't fun. FML

#21410572
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30784) - you deserved it (2537)

On 05/15/2015 at 3:54pm - intimacy - by nazirah4shizzle (woman) - United States

Today, my little cousin was helping me wash my car. After scrubbing all the dirt, I gave him the hose and said, "Okay, now rinse off this disgusting thing." He turned the hose on me. FML

#21409816
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23455) - you deserved it (5777)

On 05/14/2015 at 12:26am - kids - by ptarr12345 (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I got a friend request on Facebook. It's from the person who crashed into my car earlier in the month. It's funny that she doesn't return my calls or messages, but liked my status about the accident. FML

#21409756
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27068) - you deserved it (1804)

On 05/13/2015 at 10:55pm - work - by iamgodzilla (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I got sick of my flatmate stealing my food so I decided to sabotage a leftover pizza with laxatives. I came back home later in the evening after a night of heavy drinking. Guess what I had to eat in my drunken stupor. FML

#21409743
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14124) - you deserved it (30012)

On 05/13/2015 at 10:37pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, my grandpa told me he was going to be eating out tonight, and I asked at which restaurant. He replied "Your gran's room." and winked. I didn't need that mental image, at all. FML

#21409445
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30182) - you deserved it (2669)

On 05/13/2015 at 12:00pm - misc - by -_- (woman) - United States (California)

Today, at a party I got blind drunk and I gave a guy a blowjob for the first time. I'm a 100% heterosexual male. FML

#21406764
296 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18191) - you deserved it (34331)

On 05/08/2015 at 12:59pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - India (Delhi)

Today, my obsessive-compulsive mother barred me from using the toilet she had just cleaned. She told me to wait until tomorrow. FML

#21406668
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27430) - you deserved it (1808)

On 05/08/2015 at 8:46am - misc - by MedChew (man) - Malaysia (Kuala Lumpur)

Today, my boyfriend and I got busted by a cop for having sex in his car. When the cop sent us on our way, we went home and the garage was open, so we called the cops thinking someone was in the home. No one was in the house, and we got the same cop. FML

#21406460
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29256) - you deserved it (7361)

On 05/07/2015 at 10:18pm - intimacy - by Bonnie and Clyde - United States (Texas)

Today, I finally worked up the courage to tell my dad about my worries for my mental health. He then told me about the tracking device the aliens had implanted in his hand when they abducted him. There's nothing like family. FML

Today, I was talking to a cute guy at my house party and had to fart. Luckily, it was silent. Unluckily, he smelled it, thought my house had a gas leak, and ran to the basement to check the pipes and ensure our safety. FML

#21404933
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26368) - you deserved it (5497)

On 05/05/2015 at 1:41am - misc - by anonymous - United States (California)



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