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bmba94's FML badges
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
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You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
bmba94's favorite FMLs
by idontlikebitter / 03/08/2016 at 4:10pm / Switzerland (Aargau) / Miscellaneous
Today, I think my unborn child has developed a sense of humour. The little cherub is usually very calm, but must have realised that if he/she kicks me hard enough in this particular place near my bladder, I'll piss myself on the spot like a race horse. It's happened twice now. FML
by Spraylady / 02/29/2016 at 4:45pm / United Kingdom / Kids
by PizzaPants / 02/29/2016 at 1:12pm / United States (Colorado) / Health
by Anonymous / 02/06/2016 at 12:55am / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous
by sick of this shit / 02/06/2016 at 12:04am / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous
by cuntingbitchofawhore / 02/05/2016 at 10:11pm / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous
by Coccinelle / 02/05/2016 at 11:36am / France / Work
Today, as my brother parked in our hotel's parking lot, I told him to be careful because the car wasn't straight. He retorted, "Yeah, just like you". My mother was in the back seat and heard everything. I hadn't come out yet. FML
by Anonymous / 02/05/2016 at 7:37am / Australia (Queensland) / Transportation
by notsoproudfather / 02/01/2016 at 10:54am / India (Maharashtra) / Kids
by Xandriajoy10 / 01/30/2016 at 10:44pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Intimacy
Today, at my daughter's fundraiser, I noticed that a guy with a face only a fist could love kept staring at her. I said "Beautiful, isn't she?" Before I could tell him to keep it in his damned pants, he replied "Hah. She's my girlfriend, dude. Total beast in the sack." Complete news to me on both counts. FML
by Anonymous / 01/27/2016 at 11:35am / United States (Kansas) / Kids
by Anonymous / 01/26/2016 at 5:22pm / Netherlands (Noord-Brabant) / Work
by soni_miller / 01/26/2016 at 1:02am / United States (Virginia) / Health
Today, while I was taking a shower, my boyfriend came into the bathroom to ask me a question. When I got out of the shower, I was greeted with a horrifying cutout of Michael Jackson. I fell backwards, shattering the glass shower door. I needed stitches. FML
by Shy_Shiloh / 01/21/2016 at 3:58am / United States (Ohio) / Love
Today, I accidentally let out a silent but obscenely deadly fart in the doctor's waiting room. It was so foul that a woman got insanely pissed at her kid because she thought he'd shat his pants again. FML
by lambeaster / 01/20/2016 at 9:27am / United States (District of Columbia) / Kids
- Today, I’m teaching French in a university in India. One of the students asked me if Paris was the… Today, I’m in Thailand and I met a monk. The conversation was so deep and interesting that, without… Today, I’m on vacation in Peru in the Amazonian forest. I woke up in the middle of the night to the…