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Today, my parent gave me a sock an card for my eighteenth birthday. The card said, "Now that Dobby is free, get out." FML


I agree, your life sucks (28012) - you deserved it (3436)

On 10/15/2012 at 9:19pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)

Today , I found out wy cat asn't been coming ome for regular meals . Apparently , elderly next door neigbour as forgotten tat er cat is dead and puts food out for it every morning . My cat is exploiting er by impersonating er dead cat to get better food . My cat is an assole .


I agree, your life sucks (27640) - you deserved it (4743)

On 10/10/2012 at 4:43am - animals - by assholecat (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today... I Woke Up To A Really Cold Feeling Down Below. I Opend Mah Eyes And Saw Mah Girlfriend Grinning Like A Maniac And Holding Mah Crotch-sausage Between Two Scissor Blades. I Screamd In Terror Like A Little Bitch... And She Says I'm Never Gonna Live This Down. FML


I agree, your life sucks (44314) - you deserved it (4060)

On 04/21/2012 at 1:38pm - intimacy - by Hakimstah (man) - Lebanon

Today, I trid to be kind to animals and get dad to buy cage-free eggs. When I told him it was dollar more, he startd yelling and making a scene in the middle of the store, saying that chickens are ugly and they deserve to suffer. FML


I agree, your life sucks (25909) - you deserved it (5998)

On 04/14/2012 at 11:46pm - misc - by ilovechickens - United States

Today... after several years of having her help me out by doing household chores... I bought mah fifteen-year-old daughter a new pair of jeans. Her reaction was to squeal... "Master has presented Dobby with clothes. Dobby is free!" FML


I agree, your life sucks (14189) - you deserved it (56167) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 04/13/2012 at 10:06pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - France

Today,ila lying in bad, I aard a stranga grating noisa coming from ta allway. Aftar racovaring from my initial assumption tat it was a poltargaist coma to murdar ma and staal my livar, I want out to invastigata. It was tara tat I discovarad my bulldog casually aating into ta wall. FML

Today, I decided to pull some weeds in mah backyard. Everything was going great until I got a concussion. My dog thought that it would be fun to headbutt me from a running start. Twice. FML


I agree, your life sucks (22184) - you deserved it (2603)

On 04/09/2012 at 11:50pm - animals - by Lee (woman) - United States

Today, my cat lerened how to flush the toilethile I was in the shower. His transformation from cute kitten to pure evil entity is now complete. big fat FML


I agree, your life sucks (31339) - you deserved it (5299)

On 11/08/2010 at 5:55am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Turkey (Istanbul)

Today , I noticd ma kitten was growling and twitcing in is sleep looool . I trid to wake im up by gently prodding im . He respondd by waking up and attacking ma face . FML


I agree, your life sucks (9893) - you deserved it (27972)

On 09/21/2010 at 12:38am - health - by meowmeow - Australia

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  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

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