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blueyes909

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blueyes909

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1355
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 9 posted

About blueyes909 : All of these FML's are hilarious and troubling at the same time! Haha(:

blueyes909's page activity

Visits<b>davidxflow</b> - the 11/23/2014 at 9:54am<b>thatchick1405</b> - the 10/28/2014 at 2:51am<b>AustinDenton</b> - the 10/27/2014 at 10:41pm<b>andy594328</b> - the 10/27/2014 at 8:44pm<b>MissJennyale</b> - the 04/21/2014 at 12:11pm

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blueyes909's favorite FMLs

Today, my little brother learned about mortality when our dog died. Since then, he's gone a little nuts and keeps ranting that he sees no point as to why our other dog should live. He's 16. FML

#21306062
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17350) - you deserved it (1279)

On 11/26/2014 at 7:09am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - South Africa (KwaZulu-Natal)

Today, I've tried to have a quiet jack off four times, only for my dad to knock on my bedroom door within seconds and say "STOP IT." every single time. Now I'm too paranoid to even function. FML

#21302766
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28883) - you deserved it (6937)

On 11/20/2014 at 2:48pm - intimacy - by fuck fof and die dad (man) - Germany (Schleswig-Holstein)

Today, while lying in bed cuddling with my cat after getting stood up, I found out that even 80-year-old Charles Manson is engaged to be married. FML

#21301256
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29426) - you deserved it (3042)

On 11/18/2014 at 5:41am - love - by jessiejaybee (woman) - United States

Today, my 12-year-old daughter informed me that she is eager to lose her virginity, "Because I don't want to be thrown into a volcano!" FML

#21300667
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31113) - you deserved it (3271)

On 11/17/2014 at 10:47am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I found out that my mom is doing a study and is keeping used pads in the freezer. FML

#21298678
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33006) - you deserved it (2221)

On 11/13/2014 at 10:39pm - money - by PPP - United States (Illinois)

Today, my brother offered me $20 to practice his kissing on me for his date later this evening. FML

#21296136
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42255) - you deserved it (4023)

On 11/10/2014 at 11:31am - misc - by SisterOfTard (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my boyfriend pretended to be reading braille while touching my chest acne. FML

#21295903
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34899) - you deserved it (5609)

On 11/10/2014 at 12:01am - intimacy - by annababyyyy - United States (Maryland)

Today, I sat my son down for a talk about how he's been too lazy to brush his teeth lately. I said "Son, we need to have a chat about oral hygiene." He rolled his eyes, sighed, and said he already knew to clean "it" before a girl went down on him, and asked if he could go already. FML

#21295420
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37262) - you deserved it (4659)

On 11/09/2014 at 1:23pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) -

Today, I excitedly told my mom that I'm pregnant with my second child. She shot back, "You know what's a REAL achievement? Jacking your dad off in church last week without anyone noticing. Aim higher." I really didn't need to know that. FML

#21294899
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39669) - you deserved it (3408)

On 11/08/2014 at 6:02pm - kids - by jennabee97 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was getting everything ready for mine and my husband's first wedding anniversary. Flowers, check. Crisp new bed sheets, check. Silk underwear, check. Crippling cramps and an early period, check. FML

#21294602
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42764) - you deserved it (3120)

On 11/08/2014 at 9:09am - intimacy - by betterthanhodor - United Kingdom (Suffolk)

Today, I finally found out why my husband is always so eager and happy to buy me whatever I am craving during my pregnancy. It's because it gives him an excuse to meet up with his mistress and have a quickie. FML

#21294259
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50037) - you deserved it (2918)

On 11/07/2014 at 6:59pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, my eight-year-old microwaved our thermometer to see if the temperature would change. FML

#21293257
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30958) - you deserved it (3550)

On 11/06/2014 at 7:15am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, realized I need a new job. This happened when I was seriously considering ways to break my leg so I could stay at home for a day and not have to deal with my boss. FML

#21291344
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28441) - you deserved it (2723)

On 11/03/2014 at 4:16pm - work - by I don't want to be here anymore - Canada (Alberta)

Today, we are reading Animal Farm in class. Almost the entire class think it's about animal abuse. Including the teacher. FML

#21291068
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36483) - you deserved it (2527)

On 11/03/2014 at 6:04am - misc - by literature -

Today, while having some "personal" time, I felt intense pleasure and moaned. I learned that my own moaning prevents me from reaching my peak. I'm my own turn off. FML

#21290790
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33324) - you deserved it (4900)

On 11/02/2014 at 8:31pm - intimacy - by SelfServiced - United States (California)



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