Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

blueyes909

Online | Search for a member

blueyes909

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 5147
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 9 posted

About blueyes909 : what the fuck why does my life have to suck

blueyes909's page activity

Visits<b>PITSB</b> - the 05/14/2015 at 8:03am<b>redneckpunk</b> - the 05/06/2015 at 12:52pm<b>annarcheer</b> - the 04/25/2015 at 8:18pm<b>davidxflow</b> - the 04/24/2015 at 6:59pm<b>andy594328</b> - the 04/24/2015 at 6:52pm<b>macncheeze97</b> - the 04/24/2015 at 1:54pm<b>thatchick1405</b> - the 10/28/2014 at 2:51am<b>AustinDenton</b> - the 10/27/2014 at 10:41pm<b>MissJennyale</b> - the 04/21/2014 at 12:11pm

Fucked!<b>macncheeze97</b> - the 04/24/2015 at 7:54pm

blueyes909's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of blueyes909's badges

blueyes909's favorite FMLs

Today, I realized the only reason my mom trusts me to stay home alone for long periods of time is because I don't have enough friends to throw a party. FML

#21448086
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24644) - you deserved it (2223)

On 07/27/2015 at 3:12pm - misc - by Not turnt - United States (New York)

Today, my long distance boyfriend got angry because I like touching myself while we sext. It "distracts" me from him. I'm sorry you turn me on. FML

#21447742
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23776) - you deserved it (2363)

On 07/26/2015 at 10:02pm - intimacy - by wot02 (woman) - United States

Today, my girlfriend thought it'd be hilarious to secretly swap her and my mom's numbers in my phone, then sexually tease me before going to work. I found out about the prank when I texted my "girlfriend", saying I was going to fuck her so hard she wouldn't walk straight for days. FML

#21443815
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29559) - you deserved it (3813)

On 07/19/2015 at 12:36am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I lost my virginity. The most memorable aspect of it wasn't the fact that my boyfriend finished after two thrusts, but rather the fact that he first said, "The pilot has entered the cockpit." FML

#21443446
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26342) - you deserved it (2804)

On 07/18/2015 at 7:09am - intimacy - by henhouse - Australia (Victoria)

Today, as always, I have a type of eczema that flares up when I'm stressed out or anxious. And today, the girl I've been in love with for 4 years asked me out on a date. We meet up in a few hours, and right now I look like I have smallpox. FML

#21439553
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24644) - you deserved it (1451)

On 07/10/2015 at 1:07pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, while reading my girlfriends kid's a story, her daughter started pouring a tiny watering can on my head. When I asked her what she was doing, she said, "Watering your head so your hair grows back". I'm twenty-seven. FML

#21437640
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24307) - you deserved it (2152)

On 07/06/2015 at 10:21pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I found out the only reason why a friend of mine even bothered talking to me. He thought that I'd sleep with him if he was nice enough. FML

#21437177
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24190) - you deserved it (2151)

On 07/06/2015 at 1:30am - intimacy - by I'm_Not_Interested - United States (Nevada)

Today, my husband's 70-year-old uncle came for a visit. Since we only have 2 bedrooms, we set him up in our daughter's room. Later, I glanced into the room and saw him masturbating in her bed. FML

#21436083
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27673) - you deserved it (2364)

On 07/03/2015 at 10:31pm - misc - by okaydisarray (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I decided I wanted to bleach my hair, so I asked my mother for help. Apparently, something went wrong, because clumps of my hair started falling out. Now I'm half blonde and half bald, and my mom is just laughing at me. FML

#21436042
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22440) - you deserved it (5812)

On 07/03/2015 at 8:54pm - misc - by notquitejuliet - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I had to profusely apologize to a woman after my six year old son decided to crawl between her legs at the supermarket, then look up her skirt and loudly ask why she didn't have any panties on. FML

#21435950
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26471) - you deserved it (3246)

On 07/03/2015 at 4:51pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, as I kissed my husband after our wedding vows, my mother-in-law muttered "Slut." loudly from the front row. Everyone heard her, but kept smiling and pretended to be oblivious. FML

#21432863
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28973) - you deserved it (1851)

On 06/27/2015 at 2:56pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my boyfriend called me while I was at work. He sounded very excited and told me he had a surprise for me. He doesn't usually do this kind of thing, so I was excited. When I came home, I found him naked, with "Bone Appetite" written right above his penis. FML

#21432853
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25969) - you deserved it (3361)

On 06/27/2015 at 2:37pm - love - by stillhungry - United States (California)

Today, while watching a family movie, my mother made every effort to make sure I covered my eyes during a kissing scene. I guess it shouldn't be a surprise, since she still forces me to put my phone in her room every night as she makes me go to bed at 8:30 PM. FML

#21432771
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25941) - you deserved it (3270)

On 06/27/2015 at 11:01am - misc - by anonynous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was about to leave for my honeymoon with my new husband, when he saw my deodorant in my bag. He picked it up and asked what it was. When I said it was deodorant, he gave me a confused look and said "girls don't wear deodorant". He actually believed that. FML

#21428525
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26310) - you deserved it (2513)

On 06/19/2015 at 10:47am - health - by stanky - United States (Ohio)

Today, from across the parking lot, I saw a woman break into my car and steal my "Handicapped parking" placard. Guess why I couldn't stop her. FML

#21427634
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34885) - you deserved it (1813)

On 06/17/2015 at 3:18pm - misc - by hobbled - United States



FML's blog

  • FML with pics? That's FML Pics
  • They say that a picture is worth a thousand words. We reckoned pictures could be worth 300 characters, which is why we launched FML Pics. The name says it all, really: it's an FML app, only with…

Monday 3 August 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: