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blueyes909's favorite FMLs
by Pissed / 06/20/2016 at 3:27pm / United States (North Carolina) / Work
by Anonymous / 06/11/2016 at 10:27am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
by Kaibel / 05/21/2016 at 5:39pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by N / 05/20/2016 at 4:22pm / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous
Today, my boyfriend keeps requesting that I make eye contact when I give him blowjobs. He won't let up about it. I don't know how to break it to him that his penis is too small for me to suck and look upward at the same time. FML
by oh gee / 05/02/2016 at 1:01am / Intimacy
by foreveryoung / 04/30/2016 at 12:23pm / France / Miscellaneous
by w0w / 04/22/2016 at 8:12am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
by Dipping Tired / 04/20/2016 at 7:17pm / United States (New York) / Health
by 0h_Boy / 04/20/2016 at 4:03pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy
by Me myself & I / 04/18/2016 at 9:09pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
Today, I performed a piano piece at a school play. Everything went well until I got up and accidentally smashed my shin against one of the piano legs. Before I could bite my tongue, I'd already yelled "Fucking hell!" in front of about 50 second graders. FML
by Anonymous / 04/18/2016 at 3:28pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
Today, my daughter and her "friend" kept using crude euphemisms right in front of me, thinking I was too old or too stupid to figure out what they meant. I nearly had an aneurysm when she told him he could put his "pencil" in her "sharpener" next time they studied together. FML
by Anonymous / 04/09/2016 at 9:12am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Kids
Today, my girlfriend wanted to try having sex despite her serious body image issues. Unfortunately, I couldn't get it up due to how utterly terrified she looked. Now no matter what I say, she thinks it's all because her body is hideous. FML
by Anonymous / 04/06/2016 at 12:59pm / United States (Connecticut) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 03/28/2016 at 4:23pm / United States / Love
by pancaketits / 03/22/2016 at 11:33am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous