Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

blueyes909

Offline (8 hours ago) | Search for a member

blueyes909

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1058
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 9 posted

About blueyes909 : All of these FML's are hilarious and troubling at the same time! Haha(:

blueyes909's page activity

Visits<b>andy594328</b> - the 04/23/2014 at 11:19am<b>MissJennyale</b> - the 04/21/2014 at 12:11pm<b>AustinDenton</b> - the 04/06/2014 at 12:46pm

blueyes909's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of blueyes909's badges

blueyes909's favorite FMLs

Today, I found my husband in the bathtub, which was filled with blood-red water, motionless and staring blankly at the ceiling. I started screaming and crying, and he burst into laughter at his "hilarious" prank. He only seemed regretful that his video camera hadn't been recording properly. FML

#21261267
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17154) - you deserved it (1572)

On 09/19/2014 at 1:58pm - misc - by TuT (woman) - France

Today, I went on a blind date. My date would respond to me by saying "retweet" and "favorite" when she thought something was relatable. FML

#21261017
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27944) - you deserved it (2293)

On 09/18/2014 at 11:15pm - love - by clairebear104 - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I got an Economics test back from my professor. I got a 17/20. I looked it over and noticed one of the questions was completely right. I checked the textbook he made and the answer was the same. I asked him why it was wrong, and he responded with, "I guess I changed my mind." FML

#21260926
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25600) - you deserved it (1532)

On 09/18/2014 at 9:44pm - misc - by badprofessor - United States (New York)

Today, a guy asked me out, and I felt butterflies in my stomach. I soon realized that it wasn't butterflies, but an unexpected bowel movement. I stood there awkwardly, looking him in the eyes, then farted hard. FML

#21260355
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31688) - you deserved it (3499)

On 09/17/2014 at 11:14pm - love - by HappilyNeverAfter - Canada (Ontario)

Today, a guy asked me out, and I felt butterflies in my stomach. I soon realized that it wasn't butterflies, but an unexpected bowel movement. I stood there awkwardly, looking him in the eyes, then farted hard. FML

#21260355
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31688) - you deserved it (3499)

On 09/17/2014 at 11:14pm - love - by HappilyNeverAfter - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found out my wife named our son after her ex-lover. FML

#21260166
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30491) - you deserved it (2251)

On 09/17/2014 at 6:10pm - love - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had made a cup of my favorite coffee, which I had recently found to be discontinued. To accompany this last cup, I went to get a muffin. As I turned around, I see my son pouring the cup out because I out put it next to the sink and he thought it was dirty. FML

#21258936
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29179) - you deserved it (5623)

On 09/15/2014 at 6:19pm - misc - by lucas_urev - United States (New York)

Today, I was going for my morning walk, when a guy in a massive truck drove up beside me, with a kid no more than 4 riding shotgun. I lost my faith in humanity when his tiny voice yelled through the window, "Nice ass!" FML

#21257417
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38626) - you deserved it (4306)

On 09/13/2014 at 10:39am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I had an important oral report to deliver with a partner. Not only did he come in late and high, he pronounced Virginia as "Vagina" the whole way through. FML

#21257414
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34344) - you deserved it (3081)

On 09/13/2014 at 10:36am - misc - by Jamestown of Vagina (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, some assface hacked my recently deceased friend's Facebook account. The person changed my friend's location to "Hell", then posted a status saying how hot the weather was, and replied "I wish :'(" to someone who'd said my friend was in a better place now. FML

#21257037
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40737) - you deserved it (2678)

On 09/12/2014 at 5:11pm - misc - by he's not the one going to hell (man) - Australia

Today, my college did a fire drill, and instructions were given by intercom in English and Spanish. The guy beside me mused: "If they say it in English and Mexican, why not say it in Black too?" That guy is my idiot brother, and he was dead serious. Sometimes I think our parents are related. FML

#21257016
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33619) - you deserved it (2695)

On 09/12/2014 at 4:47pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had to take my husband's laptop to University for an in-class exam. I opened the screen, and loud porn started to auto-play. The silence in the class was deafening as I tried to make it stop. FML

#21256842
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39675) - you deserved it (5184)

On 09/12/2014 at 9:17am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I had to decline the sale of alcohol to a man who reeked of booze and was practically falling asleep at my till. He tried to convince me that he wasn't drunk, he was just blind. Still refusing to sell him the beer, he started yelling at me, accusing me of "being racist against the 'blinds'". FML

#21256123
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35061) - you deserved it (2691)

On 09/11/2014 at 2:49am - work - by PerfectVision (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my girlfriend went shopping at Victoria's Secret with me. While she was in the fitting room, her parents walked by and saw me. They don't approve of the store, so I panicked and told them I was considering becoming a woman. FML

#21255419
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40113) - you deserved it (11201)

On 09/09/2014 at 11:16pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I caught my little sister taking a selfie in the mirror with a fake nose piercing, peace sign, and a duck face. She's 12. FML

#21251377
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37389) - you deserved it (3343)

On 09/03/2014 at 7:35pm - kids - by MusicLover18 - Canada (Alberta)



Korrig'Anne's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Korrig'Anne's illustrated FML
  • So, have you ordered it? Have you got it? No? Yes? Do you have any idea of what I'm talking about? OK, for the normal people, I'm talking about the new iPhone 6. Apparently, it came out today. I'm not…

Friday 19 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: